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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Between the two - February 12th 2018, 09:05 AM

Hey, I took a short break from TH, but I may be back for a bit. Something happened last week in which the school counselors were emailed about a concern that the janitor had with me. I won’t explain in detail bc it can be very triggering but anyway, the point is, I had to tell my parents bc of how bad the ED was getting. My dad still won’t let me get professional help. The last several days have been extremely stressful bc of all this. The other day, I was deep in thought working on music then my mom walked in and at first I didn’t hear her say my name. After a few moments, I looked up to see her standing there and my heart started racing so fast as I panicked. I’ve been extremely paranoid and anxious. Recovery will not be possible without someone’s help and my dad won’t allow that so I just have stopped caring. I don’t care about recovery anymore. Idk what I’m trying to say anymore, I just want to rant.
I’ve been experiencing dissociation a lot more and earlier I had what seemed like an anxiety attack. Can stress cause these sorts of things? Also, I don’t sleep much anymore. Not that I’m trying to sleep but I feel like my day is never over and I don’t even want to sleep. Maybe I just am afraid of missing something In my life. I don’t really know why. I’m just looking for answers, meaningful replies and I just want to know that someone cares. Please and thank you.

Edit: just talked to the school counselor yesterday. I asked her what would happen if I keep getting worse and my parents don't do anything still. She said that she would have to report it as neglect. That would worry me so much but a part of me wants that to happen so my start listening.

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Re: Between the two - February 12th 2018, 04:41 PM

Hey there,

Is there a reason as to why your dad will not allow you to get help? I don't want to say the wrong thing but a parent denying their child access to medical treatment (even therapy) is quite concerning. Do you think you could find a trusted adult to discuss this with? Let them know that your dad is refusing to allow you to get help and see if they can help you come up with a solution.

I've been talking to you off and on for a while and I know you do want to recover but it makes sense that you've lost hope about recovering because you are not being allowed help. Do you think if you talked to your mom about how bad things are that she could persuade your dad to let you seek out help?



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Re: Between the two - February 12th 2018, 05:08 PM

My mom knows that it is affecting me and said she will try and get my dad to listen. He thinks, "You shouldn't run to someone every time life doesn't go your way. You need to learn to handle things on your own. Before you leave this house, I need to prepare you for the real world. You won't always have someone to help you." But he kinda yelled as he said that. I will be speaking with the school counselor again today and I will tell her that. I'm just so worried bc my dad cannot know that I talk to her. It's confidential but I do not want her to have to report this as "neglect" or something like that. His ignorance has been going on for years now but I keep getting worse. He just can't see that.
   
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Re: Between the two - February 12th 2018, 05:43 PM

I am glad that your mom is going to try and talk to him about it. I think that getting help is important. I am sorry that your dad is choosing to ignore the fact that you could benefit from therapy. I hope that talking to the school counselor will help as well. I understand that you don't want your dad to find out that you are talking to them. You might be able to discuss these concerns with the school counselor when you see them next.

Please keep us updated on what ends up happening and know you can reach out to me if you would like.



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Re: Between the two - February 12th 2018, 10:56 PM

Thank you so much! Today I asked her what would happen if I keep getting worse and my parents still refuse help. She said that she’d have to report it as neglect. That worries me but I do not feel motivated to recover right now.
   
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Re: Between the two - February 13th 2018, 04:23 PM

Hey there,

Please keep talking to her so that you can get some support. I know you are concerned about her reporting it but you have to realize that you DO deserve to get help for this and you deserve to have someone who will try and help you get that help. I know the idea of your parents getting reported is scary but you don't deserve to continue struggling without receiving medical help.

Please know that I am here.



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Re: Between the two - February 13th 2018, 04:55 PM

thank you, Abibliophobe.

Hopefully that won't have to happen but I need to be prepared for anything. I don't think it will get better on my own. this has already been progressing and it's continuing to get worse. I just wish my dad could see how bad it really is. But the ED part of me likes to hide it. It's very secretive and I don't want him to see any of my behavior. Maybe physical symptoms will be a wake up call that he needs to do something about it.
   
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