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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Unhappy Flat emotions - October 1st 2018, 06:47 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of eating disorders, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Has anyone else experienced this? For the last several days, Iíve been extremely anxious and stubborn about everything. Iím unwilling to make change in my eating patterns, Iím angry at the world and will do whatever it takes to restrict more. But then I had a crash in my emotions and thought patterns. My dietician wants me to go to a treatment center and at first, I really thought I wanted to go. I was preparing myself to talk to my parents about it. But then my mindset changed. I donít care about anything anymore. I wonít fight for further treatment but I wonít fight against it. I am good either way. If my dad tries to control me or gets angry with me, so be it. I wonít cause any conflict, I will just let it happen. I donít want to make any decisions especially when I donít really trust myself. I canít be trusted with anything involving food because I always restrict or get out of meals when I can. I am stubborn and deceptive and thatís why I desperately need someone to make me eat. But I donít care if I eat and I have a hard time believing this is really a problem. Iím in denial and donít realize this is a dangerous thing. According to my doctor and dietician, I have a lot of health problems from this but I have a hard time believing itís really that serious. I could lose my life if I keep this up but I donít care about anything at this point.

Is this mental shift due to malnutrition? I didnít used to think this way. I always wanted to recover but now itís like my brain is shutting down. I donít want any decisions to make, I donít want to spend extra energy on caring about things, I had way too much anxiety over the past few days that Iím just so mentally exhausted.

Any thoughts on this?
   
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