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(#1 (permalink))
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nelipot.
 I can't get enough ********* 
Name: Jessie
Age: 17
Gender: Female
Location: A place where I can watch the sunset.
Posts: 3,173
Join Date: January 31st 2009
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I want to be beautiful. -
January 5th 2010, 08:43 PM
This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of eating disorders, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.
[Edit: Post removed at user request]
 Three little birds sat on my window, and they told me I don't need to worry. 'You don't always have to be positive, but you need to put things into perspective.' - 17/5/12 Selfharmforummod| MentalHealthforummodlHelpLinkmentor|Blogmod|LiveHelpoperator|Depressionandsuicideforummod |
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(#2 (permalink))
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Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
* 
Age: 17
Gender: Female
Location: USA
Posts: 47
Join Date: January 3rd 2010
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Re: I want to be beautiful. -
January 5th 2010, 08:55 PM
Jessie,
Oh my. First of all, I am so glad you can see and accept that you are doing these things to yourself and why. That's the first step to getting better. With my ED, I never thought it'd be bad either. I though it was just a plan to get in shape, eat better and drop a few pounds. Four months later, I'm border-line anorexic. These things are not something we can see the severity of from the inside. Do not blame yourself for letting get out of your hands. The reality is it was probably out of your hands to begin with. ED takes over your mind and controls you. It's not your fault or anything you did. The next step is to tell someone who can help you get help. Maybe set small goals for yourself like write down three things you like about your appearance, a little more than your daily limit, and write out your feeligns or do art...just express them in some way. Get. Them Out. By getting your feelings out, you are slowly getting ED out. You.Can.Do.This. You are strong enough. You've shown us that by posting here and even recognizing where this stuff is coming from. But it'll take lots of time and you need to have patience with yourself. Take gentle care, and I'm here if you wanna talk. Love, Grasshopper "Courage is not the absence of fear, but simply moving on with dignity despite the fear." "If I'm gonna go down, I'm gonna do it with style. You won't see me surrender, you won't hear me confess, cause you've left me with nothing, but I have worked with less." -Ani Difranco "You have enemies? Good! That means you've stood for something in your life!" |
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(#3 (permalink))
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Don't let go of him
Welcome me, I'm new!
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Name: Meghan
Gender: Female
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 5
Join Date: August 15th 2009
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Re: I want to be beautiful. -
January 5th 2010, 09:20 PM
Jessie,
I want to let you know that I'm glad you reconize you have a little bit of a problem. This first thing I can suggest myself is asking for help. I struggle with this, and it's even harder for me because I go to a boarding school and so I'm not at home and my parents don't see me eat. The thing I want you to know is there is help out there and if you feel that you need to seek it, then do so. People care for you and they love you and want you to be healthy... I may not know you, but I'm really against people and eating disorders cause I know what they can do "Strong Reasons Make Strong Actions" William Shakespeare "I'll Never forget the weekend we were in love""Theres more than what meets the eye" "At the end of the day you either focus of whats tearing you apart or holding you together" "You know you've had a great time when you can't tell your mother what you did"  |
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(#4 (permalink))
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Hello :D
I've been here a while ******** 
Name: Emma
Age: 17
Gender: Female
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,375
Join Date: October 5th 2009
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Re: I want to be beautiful. -
January 6th 2010, 06:52 AM
Hi Jessie
Im sorry to hear about this, having an ED isnt fun for anyone. And no, when we first start to develop symtoms of an ED, we never think that it will get any worse. Im sure you are aware of what purging does to your stomach, throat and teeth, so I am not going to lecture you on that because I know that getting told by people to "JUST STOP DOING IT" doesn't quite work. It's good that you understand what is making you feel as though you need to do this to yourself. And its not unusual for you to want to be beautiful and to want to have control over something. I am the same way. At the moment I feel that no one likes me and that they always look at me thinking I am ugly, I felt like my life was coming to a point where nothing good happened and that I couldnt do anything, having this ED gave me something to focus on, and I could control this, and I was 'good' at it. People are going to notice. And the best way to deal with it is just be honest. They are just worried about you thats all. And don't blame yourself if your sister stops eating again. That will make it 10x worse for you. I think going to see a doctor or a psychologist would be good for you. As you can talk about how your feeling in confidence. Good luck 
I am a Proud Kiwi =)
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