How can i help a friend?

[lana_303]

A friend of mine is starting to obesses about losing weight. She exercises everyday, doesn't eat much but when she does, she throws it up. She said she`d stop after she lost a certain amount of weight, but I don`t believe her. She`s not telling anyone the whole truth other than me and I said I wouldn`t tell anyone, but she`s starting to worry me. She tells me when she`s going to do it and it bugs me, but she said it`s nice to not hide anything from someone. I don`t want to take that away, but I can`t just watch her do this to herself. I don`t know what to do. I don`t think there`s anything I can do other than be there for her to talk to. Any advice?

[emma01]

Well, I really think you should tell someone, it doesn't have to be another friend, but even her parents or something. She may be mad at you, but she will get over it in time, because you would be saving her from doing major damage. Sit her down and tell her she needs to sort this out, give her the chance to tell her parents, if she doesn't, you should. Or even an older sister or brother. Then her parents can help her. She may feel a bit better with her parents knowing rather than a stranger such as a counsellor.
It's really sad to have to watch, and you're a great friend to come on here

[cwkguy]

^Agreed. Although it feels morally wrong to break your promise to your friend, you REALLY need to tell her parents or perhaps one of her teachers or some other adult. She'll be hurt for a while because you told, but it's the only way she'll ever get help. Sometimes you just have to ignore your promises and do what's right. It's POSSIBLE that this could turn into a situation that's life threatening, and you don't want that.

[lana_303]

I can't tell her parents, but I was thinking of the school counsellor. I don't know. She won't listen to anyone and I'm at the point where I don't want to talk to her. I have low self esteem myself and it's making me feel worst about my body. She brings it up everyday and I want to be there for her, but it's starting to consume me, too.

[Jen]

The school counselor is a great person to talk to--if that seems to be the easiest/most comfortable for you, then go for it. Remember, in ALL relationships in life, we have to put ourselves first. So, right now you need to take care of yourself, which means getting your friend help so that it's not harming you anymore. She needs another outlet, a professional outlet, so that when she does talk with you about it (if she does at all) it's not consuming. You're doing this for you, you're doing this for her, and you're doing it for the friendship.

<3