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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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How to help my friend whos Bulimic - March 23rd 2010, 11:45 AM

hey. im new to this kind of thing so im not to sure what your suppose to say.

well two days ago i found out that my best friend makes herself throw up. im not sure how long this has been going on for but i need some help on what to do.
shes a dancer, and she watch lots of shows on tv, and she compares herself to them. every morning she wakes up early and practises. she dances 4 times a week and is always tired.
shes promised me that shes stopping but i realise that i dont know how long its be going on for so i dont know how she will cope with stopping or if she even will be able to.

i really need some help on what to do. it scares me, she has some pretty tuff things going on at home. she always seems bright and happy no matter what, shes really good at hiding her feelings which is the thing that scares me.

Last edited by Grace; March 24th 2010 at 07:40 AM.
   
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Re: How to help my friend whos Bulimic - March 23rd 2010, 08:06 PM

it's very common for dancers to develop eating disorders.
you really just need to sit down a have long talk with her. showing that your very concerned will help her. at least it did for my friend.


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Re: How to help my friend whos Bulimic - March 24th 2010, 07:45 AM

update.

at school today, 9 til 3, she ate an apple and small amount of mixed nuts. she wanted me to do something and said that she'd stress if she couldn't do it. i know that means she make herself throw up. shes dancing all night so hopefully she wont do anything stupid after that.

in the morning before school she does lots of exercise, weights and things like that. along with not eating and throwing up im worried what is happening to her and her body.

i want to talk to someone. other that the fact that i promised i wouldn't, i have no one to talk too. im thinking about talking to the school nurse but i want to wait just over the weekend.

it hurts me. i can feel changes in myself over the last few days. around her im always nervous that im going to say something that will make it worse. i feel uncomfortable with her now, knowing that when she laughs its a lie.

i need help with this. please

Last edited by Grace; March 24th 2010 at 11:47 AM.
   
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Re: How to help my friend whos Bulimic - March 24th 2010, 10:57 PM

Hi Grace,

You are in a very uncomfortable situation right now--your friend is putting you in the middle of you and her eating disorder, and that's definitely not fair to you.

You're right--you do need to tell someone. Talking to the school nurse is a great person to start with! Your friend definitely might be upset that you told. I've been in your situation multiple times, with various friends and various issues. Many of them were upset with me at first. But the way I got through it was by thinking, "I'd rather them be mad at me, but get healthy and stay alive, than not be mad at me, but end up in the hospital, or dead". You know? Plus, all of these friends DID come around. It took time, but they realized that I did what I did out of love.

You not only need to reach out for her sake, but for YOURS. You need to protect yourself and take care of yourself, so not only will she need support, but you'll need support, too. Please, reach out ASAP. I know this is hard, Grace, but you're definitely doing the right thing.

Take care of yourself, and let me know if you ever want to talk, okay?
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Re: How to help my friend whos Bulimic - March 24th 2010, 11:23 PM

You should tell someone, you're friend clearly needs help.


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Re: How to help my friend whos Bulimic - March 25th 2010, 11:14 AM

i was a bit preoccupied with things today, but im pretty certain she didnt eat much again. i dont think shes thrown up for two days now, but she isnt eating now.

she doesnt realise how much it hurts me. last year another friend of mine, emily, began to lose a lot of weight quickly. on the holidays she went a whole day without eating at all, it freaked me out. i could stand to see the confident girl i knew fade away to a shy and insecure one. earlier this year she was diagnosed with having OCD and anxiety.

at school rumour was spread that she was bulimic, coz of the anxiety she goes to the toilet a lot and the weight she lost. i confronted emily about people saying it. thats all been sorted out. but its coz of that we talked about people being bulimic, and thats why my friend made herself throw up.

its messed up. i know i did the right thing with emily by telling her it got sorted out and our close friend group all knows whats going on. inside i know its not my fault but i just keep thinking it is. if i didnt talk to emily we wouldnt of talked about it and my friend would be ok.

i need the courage to talk to someone. im kind of scared that i wont be able to prove it or something. but mostly that she'll hate me. its been a few days since i found out but i cant cope with it.
   
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