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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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She hates herself, yet shes gorgous. - March 30th 2010, 02:34 PM

My ex girlfriend and I recently started talking again. She ended up spilling her life story to me and struggles with allot. First of, for the past 8 months she hasnt eaten but maybe a cup of yogert a day. She said eating is gross and she cant stand it. On occasion she feels guilty so she binges on food, and then her body rejects it so she throws up. On top of this I found out she loathes herself. She is extreamly pretty, most girls I know talk about how they wish they looked as pretty as she did, she is also extreamly intelligent, got a perfect score on the ACT. Yet despite this she thinks shes stupid and ugly and worthless. She honostly hates herself. She talks to guys that add to it as well. I've tried getting her to cut them out of her life but she wont, she said she needs closure. I can tell she wants to get her life back on track and she is trying. I just dont know how to help her. I told her she needs to go to a psychologist or theripist but she wont. Suggestions? Help? Please?
   
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Re: She hates herself, yet shes gorgous. - March 30th 2010, 06:38 PM

It seems that you really care about her and want her to get better. I think it's great that you're looking out for her well-being and you should keep it up. Encouraging her and supporting her is a good way of helping her get her life back on track. Try talking to her about her feelings and be understanding of them. You can assure her that you'll be there for her. This usually helps people to be motivated to get better.

If you can't talk to her and she gets into a dangerous situation, you should tell someone. Hope this helps.
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Re: She hates herself, yet shes gorgous. - March 31st 2010, 03:33 AM

Hey there,

It sounds like you really care for this girl and that is great. People that struggle with things like Eating Disorders, depression and what not need to have caring people in their lives. And even though it might not feel like it at times your support will help this girl.

Now, the first thing you need to realize is that no matter how much you try and tell her that she is beautiful, worthy, and so on it is something that she has to see. She is struggling internally with these things and until she can come to love and accept herself your words will not make her see other wise.

That fact is probably the hardest thing about Eating Disorders. People can tell sufferers how beautiful they are and what not but no matter what the emotional pain they are going through stops them from really seeing it.

Have you ever sat down with this girl and asked her why she feels that she is worthless? Asked her if she wants to get better? And then talked to her about some of the things she can do to help herself?

Sometimes the best thing you can do is ask people questions and get them thinking about their lives.

One thing that might help you out if you ever decide to talk to her is read up on Eating Disorders so that you will have a little background knowledge. And lastly let her know that if she start opening up and letting people in on the secret of her Eating Disorder she will start to feel a little stronger. Eating Disorders feed off of secrets so if you take that away and let people in they lose a tad bit of control and it helps in recovery.

Hope this helped a bit and if you need anything feel free to pm me.

Jenna


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