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horribble horrible horrible - April 4th 2010, 04:12 AM

i havnt posted in a while because i have been doing pretty good but this past like 3 weeks iv been doing horrible i have started cutting again after 1 month of SH free and now im not only purgeing to not gain wieght but im foing it when i get mad or angrey or i am just bored so i eat then i feel bad so i purge..... and it gets bad at school because my math teacher is all like blehh because i have bad grade so he is hard on me and i cant handle anyone being hard on me right now... my freind found my journal the other day and read it... and she was just sad about the things i dont tell her and she doesnt think i trust her but i do and i just hate myseld alot and i dont know how to fix it i want to fix everything even if i have to be unhappy i dont care i would rather everyone be happy then be mad at me i dont care what it takes..
   
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Re: horribble horrible horrible - April 4th 2010, 04:48 AM

Heyy! It's okay, everyone is allowed to have their bad weeks, its not your fault, and try not to beat yourself up about it okay! It's great you had been doing so well before these last 3 weeks. It shows you do have the strength to beat this!
About your maths teacher, I am really not sure what to do about that, some teachers are right dicks and its awful to be put with one when we are having trouble in our own lives.
Your friend probably does know you trust her really, she is probably just really worried about you and doesn't know exactly what to say.
I'm not really sure what advice to give - sorry - but I just thought I would post because when I read things, I get a sense of how the person wrote it...and with you i got a sense of you being all uptight and worried and in a right state not knowing really what to do...and maybe just seeking a little bit of support! So, I'm here for you if you want to talk! I have anorexia...well I like to say im recovering from anorexia, and doing pretty good...that was shown today when i had chocolate - because its easter - and I didn't give a monkey's butt! I loved it!
But, I do know how sometimes recovery can be exhausting and challenging, and even though I have never purged, I think I can kind of understand, and maybe offer some support!
Hope you feel better soon!!!
   
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