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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Lil'OrphanAnnie Offline
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feels like its coming back - May 30th 2010, 02:38 AM

It feels like my ED is coming back. I have been eating and eating and eating. I also noticed that im eating alone a lot more, and that i eat until i am ready to throw up. I am a failure. I cant even keep this under control. I hate being a fat ass. ugh i just hate being me. I just needed to vent. Any suggestions and advice is welcome.


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Re: feels like its coming back - May 30th 2010, 02:05 PM

Hey Rose,

You are definitely not a failure. EDs are really tricky habits to break, and illnesses to overcome. Calling yourself a failure, and putting yourself down, isn't going to make it any easier! So, if you can, start by encouraging yourself instead of berating yourself.

Are you getting any support? Have you tried using alternatives to binging? When you feel the urge to binge, try distracting yourself first--even use one of the self-harm alternatives if that's helpful. Do whatever you need to do to keep busy and wait until the urge passes. It's also helpful to write, in a journal or blog, so you can begin identifying patterns that lead you to binge. Maybe a particular emotion triggers it, or a situation. Once you know your triggers, you can avoid them and work through them.

Stay strong, I believe in you!
<3




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Re: feels like its coming back - May 31st 2010, 06:23 AM

Rose,

You are not a failure. I promise you that much. Slip ups happen. That is part of recovery. We grow from the slips ups. We learn from them and move on. The most important thing is to not look at this as failing. Don't beat yourself up about it because that is exactly what ED wants. Instead tell yourself 'I am struggling but I will make it through. There is no reason to be angry with myself. I am not a failure.'

I highly suggest that you find some support. If you are in therapy etc talk to your therapist let him/her know what is going on so they can help you through this. If your parents know about you ED talk to them about it so they can help you through. Do not be afraid to lean on people for support because that is something ED doesn't want. ED wants you to keep yourself locked away from your family and friends so that he can consume you. Fight back and ask for support.

You can beat this.

If you need anything feel free to pm me.

Jenna


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Re: feels like its coming back - June 1st 2010, 03:05 AM

Rose,

You are not a failure, and I seriously doubt that you are fat. We all slip sometimes, but that doesn't mean you failed, just that you have to get back up and try again. When you feel like binging, go for a walk or do something to take your mind off it. Figure out what causes you to binge, and then you can work at not binging when those triggers occur. You might also want to think about talking to someone, as the two lovely ladies above me mentioned.


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Re: feels like its coming back - June 1st 2010, 05:52 PM

hey everyone, thank you for commenting on this.
My triggers right now are:
Wanting to become a dancer
Not having anything to do till august
feeling depressed
and thinking too much
And I have a therepist, but i havent seen him in 3 weeks. he wont return my calls. Ugh.


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Re: feels like its coming back - June 2nd 2010, 07:21 AM

Rosie dear!

I know how you feel, but you have to fight the urges and temptations. One thing I used to do when battling my ED disorder and still do is go to the gym instead or just take a walk to get my mind off of making myself purge. It made me feel better about my body and got my mind off of it. You need to realize how beautiful you are and how you do not deserve to be going through this struggle. We all have relapses and have worse moments with our disorders, but if you can fight it and try your best then you have to remember those improvements and how good they made you feel when you are at a low again. Please if you can see a therapist or someone that can help you as well. I'm always here for you to confide in as well.

Best,
Lexy
   
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