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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
AubrianaKay Offline
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Unhappy I need support :( Please.. - March 23rd 2011, 05:46 AM

I've been suffering from depression/self injury since I was 12 and have had anorexia since I was 13...
I have gone to hospitals, clinics and therapists but I never seem to be able to open up.
I was stable for a while but now things have just gotten....so complicated.
I feel as if I am going to relapse.
I think my mom is catching on.


I'm just...so lost....

I could use some support.... :/
   
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Re: I need support :( Please.. - March 23rd 2011, 06:07 AM

Hey Aubriana, welcome to TH.

Thank you for coming here for help. So sorry you aren't feeling happy. We are here to help you. I understand your situation. You are dealing with a row of problems. You have to deal with self harm, anorexia and depression. Don't think that this is it for you. All of those problems that you mentioned can be helped. You said that you don't want your mother to find out, but you shouldn't be afraid to talk to her. If there is something on your mind, let your mother know. It is always good to have support from your family.

If you want to quit cutting, you have to take the blades out of your mind. If you have trouble self harming yourself, find a way to get your emotions out. Write your feelings down on paper. Draw. Go out and eercise. Tell yourself, "I'm not going to let the blades win. I'm not going to pck up the blades." Along with the anorexia, be sure to talk a counselor about that. Don't be afraid to get help if you feel you have a problem. Once again, don't be ashamed to tell your mother. Don't be afarid to talk to us either. If you have a problem, just let us know. We are always here to help you.


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Red face Re: I need support :( Please.. - March 23rd 2011, 06:18 AM

Thank you, Jesse. <3
It's really nice to get some support from someone.
I have been searching all night for a site that can help me <3

Yeah, I'm trying to not give up. I am emotionally weak but maybe I can be strong enough. Help is really scary for me because in a way I WANT to go back to get rid of this pain I'm feeling, but I know the consequences , I've been through them and I don't want to relive them. My mind is so back and forth. But this support does give me hope..<3
   
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Re: I need support :( Please.. - March 23rd 2011, 06:24 AM

Hello welcome to teenhelp I'm glad you have found this site, everyone here is so lovely and you will be able to get a lot of help and support <3

I know it may not seem like it but your mom finding out will be a good thing. It means she can help you stay strong and fight this. I to suffer from depression, self harm and an eating disorder. It is not easy but you can over come these

Help is scary for us all. We all become reliant on our methods of coping and changing your ways can be a scary prospect but you cannot go back to how you were. Even you said that you realise this. There will be times when you do slip up or want to return to how you were thats ok but you need to stay strong

If you ever need to talk/rant anything i'm always here. Don't be afraid to ask. <3
Take care hun and stay strong. You CAN do this <3


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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I need support :( Please.. - March 23rd 2011, 11:20 AM

Hey Aubriana, welcome to TH. It sounds like you're dealing with alot right now. I'm so sorry that you're going through so much hon. Anorexia is something I struggle with too but sometimes remembering certain things can help. Remember that food is something everyone needs to survive and to be healthy. Every single person on this planet needs to eat. It's natural and there's nothing wrong with it. Also, as much as it may seen like it once you get in that mindset, skinny isn't everything. Skinny doesn't mean beautiful. You're a really pretty girl and being a skeleton would wreck that beauty not enhance it. You deserve to be healthy and your body (as well as your heart and your head which don't benifit from this either) deserve to be treated with gentleness and respect.
Self injury is a really difficult thing as well. I know because I'm addicted to it. But that doesn't mean that with alot of perseverance and courage we both won't be able to get that out of our lives and minds someday. There was a time when you lived without it and that means that you've got it in you to live without it again. I know it seems like it helps but don't think for a moment that hurting yourself is your only option. Always running away and cutting and having to hide them under long sleeves and jeans in the summertime. Always being in some sort of physical pain on top of the emotional pain it's trying to mask...that's no way to live honey. Find something that you love to do. Sports, music, art...something you're passionate about and try to channel all that need you feel for cutting into that. Also, you've gotta find someone you can trust. Your bestfriend, favorite teacher, coach, cousin...whoever you're willing to allow a chance to really be there for you and know what's going on. I know that's hard to really be honest with someone about all of this but it's worth it. And you've got nothing to be ashamed of or scared of. You're still you. This doesn't change that.
I really hope some of this helped. If you need someone to talk to you can PM me anytime. Again, welcome to TH. Everyone on here's really sweet so post whenever and check out some of the threads in the self injury forum (particularly the alternatives list) that you find would be helpful. Best of luck with all this.


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Re: I need support :( Please.. - March 23rd 2011, 01:16 PM

Thank you Blair.
That really helped my mood a lot. It's nice to get support from other like me who really know what I'm going through.
I was going to engage in not eating last night, dinner wise, but I did get up and eat dinner because of you guys trying to help me. <3
All the help means a lot to me
I am going to the gym today, hoping to work off some stress and feel better about eating.
I hope it helps <3


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Re: I need support :( Please.. - March 23rd 2011, 01:25 PM

You're totally welcome. I'm glad this helped. You did the right thing last night. Have fun and don't push yourself too hard =)


Just Keep Breathing
   
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Re: I need support :( Please.. - March 23rd 2011, 02:20 PM

My step mom will be working out with me as my supervision so I know it will be alright


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Re: I need support :( Please.. - March 23rd 2011, 05:10 PM

Aubriana,

First off- I would like to welcome you to Teen Help. We spoke in chat last night. I encourage you to also post in the Arrivals and Departures forum if you plan on sticking around- which I hope you do.

I am sorry that you are struggling with everything right now. But what seems to be the bigger issue? The Self Harm or the Anorexia? It sounds like cutting is the bigger issue for you right now. Though, you should know that anorexia is just another form of SH. It all stems from depression. Self harm and Anorexia are ways for us to cope with our negative feelings. I think it would be to your benefit to talk to someone about this. We talked about getting you to open up little bits at a time by either writing your feelings down and showing a counselor, or by picking a topic for each time you talk to her and focus on that. The reason why opening up is so important, is because we can't recover fro things unless we do. In order for recovery to work, you have to be open and honest. It's going to feel really uncomfortable at first, but it's well worth it in the end. Struggling, to me, seems a bit worse. Also, if you have a web cam- you can try recording Video Blogs (Vlogs). This will help you verbalize your feelings in a private manner, and might make it easier for you to talk about things with a counselor. Recovery takes stepping outside your comfort zone. It's vital that you do that.

I hope this helped! But do remember- you are not alone. Even if you think that you are, you're not. Because people here are rooting for you and I am sure your friends and family care deeply about you. They want to see you happy. And believe me-- you have a right to be happy just like anyone else. you're a very nice girl. :]

Take care,
-Lyndsee


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