Triggering (ED): My story

[crazychick10793]

So it started when I was 11. I was never anywhere near popular, but this was when my weirdness started to really show. I was bullied a lot, and had anxiety, then I started binge eating. I became really obese. Then one day at a family party my bitch aunt decided to take a scale and a tape measure out and take my height and weight for everyone to hear.I'm not allowed to get into specific weights here, but it was no small number. Boy was I humiliated. So when I was 13, I began starving.Then I began throwing up. Thanks to a close friend, I got better, For 2 years my eating behaviors were somewhat normal. Until I ended up gaining a shitload of weight from a medication side effect. Now the earlier mentioned "friend" had been out of my life for a few months, because we got into a fight when she asked the recovered me to help her become anorexic. Bitch. I started throwing up again, I was struggling (and often failing) to keep every bite down. The one day changed me forever, I was told I might have to go to night school, which removed the class that meant the most and was a big part of my future. The moment I got home I ate a few pieces of cake, drank a giant glass of milk, and went into the bathroom and shoved my finger down my throat. But I had promised my best friend THAT MORNING that I would diet with her the healthy way, I was so ashamed. When I confessed to her, thankfully she understood.

That was the last time I purged, 6 months later I still struggle with these urges every single day. I want it to end. I want to be happy how on earth do I control these urges?

[Agoraphobia♥]

Well ED's can be a hard cycle to end but one thing I've found that helped me a lot was seeing a therapist about it, they can help you start to realize that you don't need to purge to feel good about yourself. They're trained on how a person's mind is wired when they have an eating disorder because it's true to a point that an anorexic has a different mind set on food than someone without an ED. It'll be hard and there will be days that you still get the urges but I suggest seeing someone like a counselor or therapist to help you find out why you have the urges as often as you do and how to prevent them from happening. If you ever want to talk, you can always PM or VM me.

[crazychick10793]

I do see a therapist. He has helped me with everything else besides that

[Agoraphobia♥]

Do you talk about it with him? If so then I really don't know what else to tell you, perhaps a dietitian could help.