Holiday awkwardness

[Blair]

I knew when I decided I wanted to recover it would be hard and there would be some rough spots. I hadnt really thought much about the holidays though... Christmas parties and all have been really triggering and awkward for me. Most people don't understand why I don't take well to having cookies and hot chocolate shoved in my face. I don't like to seem weird so I say ok after awhile and then comes the purgeing... I don't know what to do. I just wanna seem like everyone else. Lame, I know but true. And I've felt so guilty about it that I've been lying to my sponsor.

[Celestial.]

Hey Blair.

I can assure you that you're not the only one feeling like this. There's probably a lot of people, even on this site, dreading the holidays for that exact reason. It's probably better to just gently refuse food than eating it and feeling so guilty you have to purge afterwards. Try not to worry about seeming weird - it's your decision if you don't eat, and chances are whoever's offering you something is so busy offering it to everybody else that they're not going to remember you said no. And perhaps opening up to your sponsor might be helpful here too? They want to help, but they can't if you don't let them know what's wrong.

Take care.

[Palmolive]

Hi there.

Chess is certainly right, you're not the only one who feels like this. I imagine Christmas is extremely difficult for a lot of people who have an eating disorder. I know it's really daunting for you right now, but you can beat this, don't let the holidays be a bad slip up for you. Just eat what you can manage, even if that's just eating your meals and not eating all the chocolate and deserts etc. If that will help you, then just eat what you want. Don't worry about what others will think. Like said, they'll be so many people that no one will probably take it in. However, I think I'm right by thinking, your family are aware and if they are aware of your eating issues, then it's okay to lean on them and it's okay to admit to them you're worried about it and talk about it with them. I'm sure they will be supportive. I don't know if you live in the UK but if you do I wanted to give you this link to b-eat ... http://www.b-eat.co.uk/. On their site it says this:

There will be a special Coping with Christmas Live Chat Thursday 22nd December 2011 6:30pm-7:45pm.

This might be helpful to you. Here is a link to their open hours for their helpline too .. http://www.b-eat.co.uk/get-help/get-support/helpline/. They're open Christmas eve and boxing day which might be good for you. If you don't live in the UK and want something else like this support, let me know and I can try and find something in the country where you live.

You can do this, believe in yourself. You are strong enough to get through this. If you want to beat your eating disorder, you have to go through this these, like you said, it's not going to be easy but remember it is possible.

Take good care.
Jessie