Depression and ED relapse after abortion

[Sinner]

I recently found out I was pregnant. I had a very close family member (by marriage) pull some strings for me, and get me into the local clinic of a town in the next state. There's no record of it, because it could ruin my fragile if non existent relationship with my family. I can't risk the word getting out. No one knows about this. But I'm having major issues dealing with this. I'm not eating. I want things to be perfect again.
I want this to have never happened. I've cut my calories to more than half of what I was eating at my worst point two years ago.. I'm falling back into it all very fast.. and I don't know what to do. I can't get hep without everything coming out, and there is so much at stake..not only my present, but my future.. It is imperative that this stay secret.
What can I possibly do before this gets dangerous?

[Liz94]

The first thing I have to say is you can't beat yourself up about this relapse. Relapses are part of recovery.

Secondly talk to this trusted family member about it, that way you are talking to someone and getting support and no-one new is finding out about your situation.

Thirdly keep posting on here and we will all support you and be there for you through this difficult time.

Finally remember that you can beat this, you have before and you will again. Try eating a little bit more each day and before you know it you will be eating healthy again.

I am here for you as are the rest of Teenhelp.
Stay strong <3