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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Inner conflict - March 29th 2017, 03:25 PM

Hey everyone,
I'm in an inner conflict. Since I turned 18, about 5 years ago, I've been doing a lot more for my health in terms of professional attention. This is vastly different from how I've been raised and j still get stigma and judgement for going to the doctor. I also don't want to overdue it but I'm finding myself still getting the hang of the health are system, and just I feel like a little kid learning these things and it is scary. Especially because family is oUT of the picture. They won't support me in my choices. They'll only tell me that I shouldn't get treatment or consult a professional at all.
On April 12th I'm scheduled for a follow up on my blood test, urine sample and such. I will also get an ultrasound on my thyroid. Has anyone had this or an ultrasound in general?
I got 3 referrals. One is to a gastroentologist. I am not comfortable removing my clothes whatsoever. I don't know what I'm going to be asked to do but I'm guessing a colonoscopy is one thing.
I just am struggling with my social skills, social anxiety, and the fact that I didn't go to the doctor as a kid so even checkups are confusing and I haven't grasped how to be efficient with doctors. I want to get to the point where I'm only telling the doctor what's important. Instead of being stumped by their questions and not knowing what to say. Because then things are left out or because I feel so on the spot and everything is so fast, I sat things are fine when they mag not be. But I also don't want to o erdue it and say things aren't fine when really it really is. Because I would feel guilt for wasting time.
I don't know if an ultrasound on my thyroid or having my colon checked are necessary but my doctor made the referral, I wasn't pressing for it. I was honest that thyroid function problems run in my family. But not thyroid cancer-it is a thyroid function problem like underachieving or overactive, well in my family it is underactive. My family are also immigrants and war refugees so I only know these things from word of mouth and becsuse my mom had underactive thyroid but that was also told to me through stories. I never talked to her about this directly.
Colon cancer also runs in my family. My grandfather had it and each of his siblings. The doctor said that it is a stretch and thats not really close family. Even when I said my uncles all have obesity, hypertension, and one has diabetes, I was told that's uncles are not 'close' relatives. But my I only have one living grandparent left and one parent so I don't really have anyone else to base it on.
I have observations and stories but I have to piece it all together. And I'm told colon cancer runs in the family but at the same time the people who got it, got it at an older age than what I am now.

But I am thinking, since I wasn't fully honest with my primary care doctor about abdominal didconfort, digestive problems, stomach problems etc if I can use the referral to a gastroentrology to express that concern. Since I'm thinking, if in 2 weeks j somehow mustered the courage to say I wasn't fully honest about things becsuse it has been happening for so long that it got too hard to talk about, I might be told to tell the gastroentologist doctor about it anyway.
I just don't know why she referred me if she specifically said grandparents are too far off for it to be considered as an issue. She wants to know if my parents have issues and I can't know what other conditions my mom would have had if she lived up to now. And my dad, he never ever ever goes to the doctor. He is in his 60s and hadn't gone to a doctor for 30 years. Just by living with him, I can see he has trouble with his dtomach, digestion. He says he just has a sensitive stomach and thats what he told me growing up-he wouldn't take me to a doctor becsuse he would insist that it is a problem I did to myself ie:ate too much that night, ate and then drank water, are a cretain comni nation of foods. And that all i had to do was make healther choices. But this problem is consistent for me and seems consistent for him too.
So j cut out dairy becsuse I'm lactose intolerant and this I know through my observations and I don't eat as much wheat. I choose rice and buckwheat and potatoes over wheat bread. But something still feels wrobg. Maybe I'm vitamin deficient? I will find out on April 12th I guess.
I just don't know if there's a point in seeing a gastroentrologist doctor. My dad would say definitely not. My doctor obviously chose that referral so she has a reason to think I can benefit. I told her I am tired a lot but that can be from many things.
I am not sure who to trust or how to make a decision. I feel alone. I can't tell my dad and that inherently makes me hesitant to trust my doctor becsuse I can't wrap my head around that my doctor-a stranger I just met once, would have my best interest at heart while my dad doesnt. I keep thinking if I can't trust my father, I can't trust anyone. Becsuse he is my father and the doctor isn't a parent or anyone close.
I am trying to be understanding that my dad has a hard time with doctors because of circumstances and experiences so it isn't out of nowhere. But at the same time he is projecting his fears and in the past he has invaded my privacy among other things in order to stop me from reaching out. He tries to stop me from seeing professionals either by putting me down or by direct control though now that I do things in secret he does less direct control. So I am not as mad at him as I could be because I respect that this is where he is in his life, but he is also my parent and I need him and he isn't being there for me in this situation and many others in the past and he is so inconsistent that I just lowered my expectations so I basically feel like I can't consult any adults in my personal life about this becsuse I get my emotional support from either professionals or online and I don't trust professionals entirely, though I can recognize a good professional when I meet one but there's always going to be that gap. And online support is my other place of reaching out so that's what I'm doing buy j also know most if you are in your teens and 20s, and you're my peers not my parent. But yeab, I'm stumped and don't want to take off my clothes and might end up refusing a colonoscopy by this fact alone. I was upset just by having the doctor check my breasts. refused to get checked on my waist or below. And I'm just afraid of doctors in general.
   
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Re: Inner conflict - March 29th 2017, 09:54 PM

Hey there, I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this alone. After going without for most of your childhood, this must be really overwhelming. I was similar in that I waited until I was 18+ to do a lot of health-related things for myself because when I mentioned things to my mom, she would blow them off, even if they were a consistent long-term problem. I'm glad you're taking control of this now.

I've had an ultrasound on my heart, for a thyroid one, you won't have to remove your clothes. I had to take off my shirt and bra which freaked me out, and my dad took me instead of mom, so it was even weirder. I've also been to a gastroenterologist, just for a consult because I wasn't comfortable taking the medication he recommended. At most, you may need to lift your shirt enough so he/she can examine your abdomen, to make sure everything feels normal, and explain all of your symptoms. Even with a family history of colon cancer, I doubt they'll do a colonoscopy since you're so young. I wouldn't worry about that unless they specifically recommend that you have one done.

It's actually a really good idea to have any and all concerns checked out and to have baseline blood and urine tests done around this age, that way they'll know if anything changes over time. If you have a family history of certain things, it's especially important to zero in on those areas. Personally, I don't think this is overkill given your lack of medical care growing up and the things you're having checked are good to have done at this age, especially with a history.


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Re: Inner conflict - March 31st 2017, 02:29 PM

Well, an ultrasound on your thyroid means you wouldn't have to take off your clothes but there is a slim chance you would get gel on them. I have had an ultrasound on my neck and galbladder before. Galbladder I just raised up my shirt. The shoulders/neck soft tissue one I think I took off my shirt and put a gown on because of the location of it. It would stretch the shirt to get a good picture of it.


A referral for a GI doctor would involve a doctor's appointment first and they will discuss possible tests with you. Without knowing why they gave you a referral, it is hard to guess what they may have you do. A colonoscopy is a possible option but they may want to do a scope through your mouth. They may also just want to do cat scans or other tests. It's hard to say. They may also just do meds.


Removing your clothes may be difficult but they may want you to if they have to examine you. If they do a procedure like a scope they will want you to remove your clothes.


The ultrasound may be because it feels larger than normal. The GI referral may have to do with the stomach aches and vague stomach issues. At your age, I doubt she is jumping to stomach cancer but there are other issues that could be causing abd pain like Crohn's, stomach ulcers, ulcerative colitis, lactose intolerance, etc. I doubt they will jump to a colonoscopy at that first referral.


Also, your father is not a trained medical professional. While he may have the best interests at heart does not mean he has the knowledge to back it up. Think of it this way, your best friend may love you dearly and care about your safety but that doesn't mean you would want your best friend to work on your car if they are not a trained mechanic.
   
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Re: Inner conflict - March 31st 2017, 03:00 PM

Thank you Katie and Lelola. Well I got a call from the receptionist saying the doctor wants to discuss my blood test results with me and to schedule an appointment. So I called back and now I'm going in this Monday to find out blood test results. I got worried because I thought we had it down that April 12th will be the ultrasound and the day I find out blood results so why would I get a call about it to come earlier. At any rate, I will find that out Monday. That's when I will also ask for clarity on the GI doctor information, what the test will be etc. I realize that I walked out not fully understanding so now I have the opportunity to ask questions on that.
I called in the psychiatrist that i was referred to (to be tested for AD(H)D or other learning problems and i plan to mention my mental health issues as well) and was told he isn't taking new patients but to call back Friday (today). I got an appt. With the eye doctor just fine, just have to call back and ask if my insurance works with them.
   
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Re: Inner conflict - March 31st 2017, 08:40 PM

If you go to your insurance company's website you can look for different types of providers on your specific plan and can usually filter out the ones who aren't taking new patients. You can always call them or the doctors too, but I have phone anxiety, so I try to avoid that if I can.


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Re: Inner conflict - April 5th 2017, 07:22 PM

I am going to look for a psychiatrist through the website. I got referred to a different gastroentologist and I have an appt. With an eye doctor.

I am now prescribed vitamin D3 and B complex as i found out i am deficient. Swallowing pills is so painful. I almost forgot why I avoided it for this long. It is daunting to think it will be this way for the next 6 months.

Mt dr said I won't have to have a colonoscopy on my first visit with the GI. She said first step is just a check in and i will memtion my family history and then the GI doctor will decide from there.

My thyroid appears to be functioning based on my blood test so I was told i dont need an ultrasound at this time.

I started keeping record the last couple days of any abdomin discomfort, indigestion, stomach noises, trouble in the bathroom etc.
I write down physical signs like the last few days I've been having ongoing headaches and fatigue. I am thinking of also keeping record of foods I eat. And the thing I want to also do us have a similar record but for my moods and behaviors. IT is a lot of recording and it wI'll take sone adjusting. I hope it wI'll help the doctors and also for myself like I might identify triggers that way.
   
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