I was called insecure because I wanted to lose weight...

[pshyaa]

I was just somewhere with friends the other day and the topic of weight came up. One of them said that I was the perfect weight (which I'm not, my doctors have told me I was overweight, closer to obesity at my height of 5'2'' and weight of ~XXXlb) and I politely declined, saying I wasn't and I'm currently trying to lose some of it.

My friends responded with telling me that I didn't need to lose any weight, and that I was insecure. I told them I wasn't, and I gave them reasons as to why I wanted to lose weight, but they countered with something I said while frustrated about not fitting into my jeans.

I don't really know if they're right. This happened a few days ago, but it's been very bothersome. It's true that I want to lose weight for physical reasons, but that's not it... I mainly want to so I feel more confident about how I look and so I have a better lifestyle in general. It sucks not being able to wear most of my jeans.

My feelings were hurt by that and now I don't know how to respond. Do any of you guys side with them? Is it insecure to want to lose weight for confidence or a 'better' physical appearance?

[OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!]

I have to side with your friends on this one. You're clearly not happy about yourself based on the weight and the fact you cannot fit into previous clothing. It seems you're using the fact you need to lose weight for "medical reasons" as an excuse to hide up the real reasoning: insecurity about oneself based on body weight.

I don't think it's insecure if you want to lose weight for body appearance as long as you're open about it, however, you're convincing yourself with another reason. To me, it shows shame and insecurity.

[ShadowDancing]

If you feel that your weight currently is because you aren't as healthy as you could be, that's fine. Wanting to lose weight as a result of having a more healthy lifestyle is perfectly ok, if you ask me.

If you're trying to lose weight simply to be more comfortable with your body, that's where the line gets blurry. Don't try to get thinner because you don't like how you look: as long as you're healthy, you should stay at whatever weight you're at. But if you want to be more in shape and exercise, eat more fruits or whatever you choose to do, I think that's fine. As long as you don't go overboard, and remember that your body is fine.

[MattiLikesToHelp]

There is nothing wrong with wanting to loose some weight. Wtf is wrong with your friends?
I am underweight so i have been working out to gain some lean muscle and get into better shape. because of my lack of muscle mass has destroyed my posture and my apptitte isnt the best but everyone gains a little extra weight at a time in their life. What is wrong with wanting to shed a few pounds? Good job on wanting to take care of yourself. Some people live their whole life not caring about their weight and you my friend have come to a small realization that you would like to live a much healthier life. Your friends dont know your body, your friends dont know your goals or thoughts. You go girl.

[SomebodyYouDon'tKnow]

There's nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight if you aren't underweight.

I'm going to put it to you straight, you technically are insecure if you're worried about your weight enough to want to lose it. But that's not necessarily a bad thing as it will motivate you to lose it. Insecurity is only a bad thing when it takes over your life.

As for what your weight is now, you stated that you are close to obesity. You say yourself that you know it's not the "perfect" weight, and you know that. If you are close to obesity, you're not a healthy weight.

I would bet that their arguments of you being insecure come from jealousy. Why? I've been there. I've put down friends who wanted to lose weight and told them that they need to toughen up and be less insecure. But now that my own life has gotten better, my mind has been opened and I can finally see things from other people's points of view. Jealousy is what often drives that; living a healthy lifestyle is in no way an easy thing in this day and age when we have things to promote unhealthy eating and no exercise all around us.

Ultimately, you are insecure. But it's fantastic that you are taking up the task of taking care of your body. It took me years upon years to finally accept that I needed to lose weight. I know it's impossible to completely ignore what others think, but try your best not to let their comments get to you. You are doing this for your wellbeing, and when you do it you will feel so much better and happier.