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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Poetic Loser
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I don't know what to do :'( - November 30th 2011, 04:24 PM

I've been smoking since i was 13, trampy i know but it was the normal cliché, mates pressured me into it and now i've been smoking for 3 years,
But i don't do it because my friends do it though, i love smoking. It helps with the stress of my life and if i haven't got a fag in my hand i feel lost. I smoke to help me come to terms with my sexuality, it's what i do instead of cutting and i don't get pissed on vodka every night like i used to. I'm not depressed anymore and i actually look forward to waking up the next day. But the smoking is what keeps me sain and i enjoy it, i've never cared if i was looked down upon for it because it's my life and i chose what i want to do with it.

Except my mom came into my room last night asking why i'd been smoking in my room and i just shrugged because i truly didn't have an answer, because i wanted a fag and it was cold outside?
Anyways, she's been confronting me all day saying she understands blah blah and then she's like 'it's your friends that made you smoke, you've only just started, you don't want to get addicted' and then i just got angry because she doesn't know what i've been doing.

So i told her that i've been smoking for years and that i get my fags from the fag houses and mates and she was like well i'm not giving you money anymore then if you're going to waste them on fags and i just wanted to say
'Why the fuck not?! She smoked at my age and she bought her own fags so whats the fucking problem?
It pisses me off because my friends parents know that they smoke and will buy fags for them and whatever, so i go round her house because i can get her parents to buy me some and i will be allowed to smoke around them, because it's fucking normal and that's just what people do. What the hell is wrong with smoking?
It's better than drinking and cutting so i don't know why it's such a big problem.

Anyway, i've smoked the last of my box and haven't had one since this morning and i'm fucking dying i need one that bad, i just want to cry because everything is fucked up and if i don't have my fags i'll just get all upset and depressed again and if she doesn't give me money i don't know what the fuck to do

How come dumb stuff seems so smart while you're doing it?
Good friends get drunk with you. Best friends hold your hair back when you've had a bit too much to drink!
There's no such thing as good girls gone wrong, only bad girls found out.
I've learned...
that maturity has more to do with what types
of experiences you've had and what you've
learned from them and less to do with how
many birthdays you've celebrated.

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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I don't know what to do :'( - November 30th 2011, 04:44 PM

Hey there,

It sounds like your mom just cares about you. Smoking can create health issues, but as long as you stop by 21, I believe your lungs will repair themselves for the most part, but don't count on it. She may not understand your point exactly but what if you two sat down and had a calm and rational conversation? Does she know you used to cut or drink yourself silly?

As for now, I would get your smokes through a friend, but use them sparingly. Maybe even talk to your mom about doing some chores to earn some money rather than just giving you cash, earn more respect between each other.

I hope any of this helps. I know being young and trying to deal is difficult at times, especially when your parents have the final say.


So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found
You stand in the rain

  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I don't know what to do :'( - November 30th 2011, 10:04 PM

Hi Erin, welcome to Teenhelp I see you’re rather new and I hope you enjoy it here. I’ve moved your thread to the General Health section because we focus on the health aspect of this topic. Substance use is more regarding drugs and prescriptions medications.

A lot of people smoke but that doesn’t make it any healthier. Your mom is looking out for you because she’s made those mistakes. Smoking is something that won’t affect your life if you never do. Right now you may not see any downside but in time you’ll quickly find that it does pay a toll on your body. It’s your choice but if you care about health you should look into quitting. The more you smoke the harder it becomes to stop, so it’s better to quit sooner then later.

Smoking has taken a lot of family away from me and it’s hard to hear when others pick it up. My ant is undergoing chemotherapy, regardless she still terminally ill at the age of 54. She started in her teens I imagine, so she’s going to be robbed of half her life due to it. I’m not saying this to try and scary you away from it, I’m just another example of the damage it does.

It is nice to see you’ve managed to go without it after finishing your last pack. Do yourself a huge favour and drop the bad habit, at the end of the day your lungs will love you for it.

I wish you well, take care.
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I don't know what to do :'( - November 30th 2011, 10:35 PM


I'm sorry you are going through this. Quitting like that has got to be hard.

And I'm not saying it's wrong to smoke, but anyone who does should know the real effects of doing it. Just like Ryan, my aunt went through chemo at only 50 years old. She had been smoking since she was 15. Completely normal.

At 50 they spotted blotch on her lungs. Which quickly turned into several more. She had surgery. For a year she was fine, quit smoking cold turkey, ate sugarless foods (considered to feed cancer). But one year later, at 51, she had several more.

Age 52, 2009, she passed away due to numerous tumors. Several in her throat and she was unstable for surgery. She literally starved to death.

My mom, also smoking since she was 15 now has emphysema which makes her not be able to breathe well. Just a week ago she was told her lungs, at age 47, are those of an 82 year old.

Her life span has been cut short. She continues to smoke. At the rate she is going, the doctors estimate she has about five years before she needs an oxygen tank. She will be 52. Only halfway through what her life should have been.

Whole point: Cigarettes are proven to cause cancer and emphysema and even asthma. None of those are good. My aunt and mom thought "Oh, but that doesn't happen to people like me," but it did. To both of them.

Your mother seems to care. There are support groups for teenagers and a lot of the time through the school. If you aren't sure where else to turn, feel free to PM me and I can provide you with some general links of quitting as a teen. Try talking to your mom about your withdrawal. I'm betting she will want to help you.
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I don't know what to do :'( - December 1st 2011, 12:51 AM

I agree with everyone, I know it seems so difficult and I know you feel that you need smoking to calm yourself, you should really try to quit the habit because it's terrible for your health. My cousin died from lung cancer from smoking when he was only 30, and I had to go to his funeral when I was 4 years old. It won't be long before I'm attending funerals for the rest of his immediate family for their smoking habits as well
I know withdrawal is killer, but two more days and the nicotine will be out of your system, and the only real dependence you'll have on the cigarettes will be your mindset that you 'need' one to feel calm. I really recommend trying to finish out the next two days without smoking and then trying to find alternative, healthier ways to feel better.
Good luck, and hang in there, I know it's rough

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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I don't know what to do :'( - December 1st 2011, 05:01 PM


I dont think everyone is understanding quite the point and I'm not sure if it should have even been moved to General Health.

The OP isnt asking for stories and reasons to quit smoking, if you guys noticed, before she found smoking, she used to drink her self away and cut herself. Smoking is lesser of the three evils.

Correct me if I'm wrong, Lastredapplestanding, but I don't believe the previous responders are getting to the point you are asking.


So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found
You stand in the rain

  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I don't know what to do :'( - December 4th 2011, 12:40 PM

you might install smoke-detectors in places where you expect the consumption to happen. If things don't change and you really see a problem with that you might ask for professional help or the talk with parents with the same problems. There should be support-groups that handles troubled teens. Where these reside I can't say because I don't know where you live.

teen articles
teen blogs
information about troubled teens

Last edited by amandablak; December 4th 2011 at 01:11 PM.
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