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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Simpry Offline
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Name: Simon
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July 27th 2013, 11:24 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of substance use, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I am. I get drunk every day now. I'm scared of being sober. I've been effectively impotent for at least six months now. I haven't felt sexual desire for at least 3 or 4 months, and I haven't properly orgasm'ed in ages. I know it sounds superficial to start with that but as a man these things mattered to me. In addition when I don't drink and I finally get to sleep, after the shaking and panic attacks, I wake up aching All over and feeling shitter than if I was hungover. In fact, it's very rare that I don't wake up hungover because roughly as soon as the hangover ends I will drink again. I used to persuade myself I couldn't be alcoholic cause I didn't drink in the morning but I WANT to drink whenever, and I don't want to do this.

I used to blame my sexual and general fatigue problems on everything but drinking. I even radically changed my diet because I assumed it must have been that (drinking didn't even occur to me as a problem for at least 10 months while I was having these problems). I also quit smoking and since then because of the nicotine alcohol connection, getting drunk has been unpleasant because of cravings. It's been a month so if I don't drink I don't crave, but alcohol activates nicotonic receptors or whatever so it makes things worse. Anyway, I feel I have to get drunk, because if I don't things will be worse.

Point is, I know I'm an alcoholic but there's a part of me that I know is wrong telling me I'm just being a pussy. I know I'm an alcoholic. I've tried to quit several times and when I don't drink I can't think. I felt like I almost had a heart attack yesterday, probs a panic attack, otherwise I don't know but was my birthday yesterday.

Anyway, I'm drunk now and will get even more drunk later tonite. I know alcohol is my problem but I can't stop because I don't even know but I need to. I'm better than this but I really hope you believe I'm an alcoholic. I told my shrink I had a problem with alcohol and she looked at me like I was evil and said like 'addicted?' and I said I didn't want to use words, but that was when I'd quit for a couple of days and was shaking and tapping my leg and feeling weird for the whole session. Funny that I used to be addicted to tobacco, and in fact still am, but have no problem saying it.

Point is, I am an alcoholic, and I know you're gonna tell me I'm wrong but I am and I want to stop. Know that sounds stupid.

I apologise for all that shit. That was very stupid. I was going to comment and apologise for this earlier but I was really embarrassed. Anyway, I was gonna saying that the same thing was gonna say before, that I'm sorry I said such stupid things because shouldn't say drunk things on teen help site, especially because I'm now 20, so don't deserve to be on this site of teenage girls. Anyway I know none of you girls would like me because I'm worthless and not a man so there's not much point me being here because I'm shit and can't even get hard now so I better die, but can't cos I'm a coward.

Goodbye people.
Love you all. Sorry if I offended you, I really didn't mean it. You 're all better than me and I mean that sincerely.

But seriously. I am quite desperate. My life is shit. I don't want to be drunk. I want to be able to live without alcohol but I'm trapped. I've been through the denial phase, and I know this is a problem. I wish I could live in a world where I can be sober and live the way I lived before I started drinking.

Last edited by Eternal; July 29th 2013 at 03:11 AM. Reason: Merged consecutive posts.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Coffee. Offline
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Re: I'm an alcoholic - July 29th 2013, 02:36 AM

Hey Simon,

I'm sorry that nobody had replied yet; please keep in mind that sometimes, it takes people a few days to reach you, as people do have other things to do besides TeenHelp. I'm really happy that you've been able to accept that you have a problem.

You need to reach out and tell somebody in real life about your addiction. Alcoholism isn't something that can just go away. The pain that you are experiencing could very possibly be withdrawals (although, keep in mind, I'm not a doctor) but if this is the case, you may need a more medical detox in order to initially get off alcohol safely. Telling friends or family can help get you out of isolation and help you quit your addiction as well.

Good luck.

I said to the sun, "Tell me about the big bang"
& the sun said “it hurts to become."
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
AvidX Offline
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Re: I'm an alcoholic - July 29th 2013, 08:03 AM

You should look into AA (Alcoholics Anonymous), it's worked wonders for an older coworker of mine. He was an alcoholic, and spent some time in jail after his third DUI. He joined, and has been sober for 13 years.
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Smile Re: I'm an alcoholic - July 31st 2013, 06:02 PM

Originally Posted by AvidX View Post
You should look into AA (Alcoholics Anonymous), it's worked wonders for an older coworker of mine. He was an alcoholic, and spent some time in jail after his third DUI. He joined, and has been sober for 13 years.
I agree with AvidX trust me I used to drink all the time 11-13 years old. But if anything you try doesn't work there is always Rehab. I know how you feel it's to ask for help but you did the first step in recovery. Message me anytime.

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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I'm an alcoholic - August 3rd 2013, 09:51 PM

Hi Simon,

The first part of dealing with your addiction is admitting it, so I think you've shown a lot of courage in doing so. It's difficult for anyone to admit that they are alcohol dependent. I can speak coming from experience of having issues with alcohol. I would not say I was an alcoholic but I got drunk regularly and didn't care about the consequences of my alcohol, or what it done to the people around me seeing me stumbling around or being sick through drinking too much.

I think you need to start addressing this issue. I think you should try finding a group that meet in your area such as AA or maybe consider spending some time in a rehab centre. As hard as it is admitting you have a problem it's good that you have so now you can get help. As much as alcohol feels like it helps ease your problems, lets face it, it doesn't and 9 times out of 10 your problems usually become worse when you drink.

Best of luck and I'm here if you need anyone to speak to.

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Deeds not words
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I'm an alcoholic - August 9th 2013, 02:54 PM

I'll just give you the rundown. Rehab and constant attendance at AA meetings. Almost NOBODY cold turkey's. And alcohol withdraw is dangerous so you need to talk to your physician/doctor to make your you detoxify in a safe, controlled manner.

How can man die better? Than facing fearful odds, for the ashes of his father, in the temple of his gods.

"I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad, the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I ever had."
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I'm an alcoholic - August 9th 2013, 03:20 PM

I agree with Allie that alcohol withdraw can be very dangerous and it needs to be medically supervised. If you have health insurance you can ask what their policy is on rehab clinics. But keep in mind, if you go and insurance pays for it, you need to stay and complete the program or else insurance will not pay, which could be a bill of thousands of dollars that you owe. Your insurance company should be able to recommend something in your area and you can call them and ask about their program.

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