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Unhappy My Brother - October 2nd 2013, 02:08 AM

For the past few months, my older brother(19) has left at random times throughout the day(and the middle of the night) to go on a walk. When he comes back, he isn't quite himself. He always goes straight to his room, so I never see him anymore.

A few weeks ago, I was sitting in my bedroom and heard my brother and his friend below my window. I started to smell marijuana. I didn't say anything then just because I wasn't sure if it was the first time.

It's just my brother and I home right now, and he left to go on a walk. When he came back, he was acting strange and went straight to his room, barely talking to me. And now the entire house smells like marijuana.

I know that marijuana isn't the most serious drug there is, but I also know that it's a gateway drug to more serious ones. I trust my brother, but I'm really afraid that he might try something more. How do I bring this up to him? I don't think he knows that I know, and I'm actually not 100% sure but everything points to it.

I'm three years younger than him, and we never really talk much anyway. I don't want to bring it up to our parents before I talk to him about it, but I have no idea how to approach him.

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Re: My Brother - October 2nd 2013, 02:55 AM

Firstly I just want to say that I disagree with the whole argument that "marijuana is a gateway drug." I have several friends who smoke pot and have no intentions or need to try any other drugs. It's pretty commonly known that weed isn't very harmful and can even be used medicinally. That being said, most people view it as a "safe" drug they can use without doing any long-term damage to their bodies. If that's true, then weed won't be a gateway to stronger drugs. I personally think if someone has the mentality to do stronger drugs, then they don't need weed as a first step-stone to that.
On to your problem, I do think it could be worth it to talk to your brother if you're feeling concerns about his well-being. I'm sure he may feel a bit embarrassed that you figured it out and may be defensive about it, but he will appreciate you caring about him. Just let him know you've smelt it on him before when he's come home and you just want to make sure that he's okay.
If you come across any reason to believe he's doing other drugs, it may be best to bring this up to your parents just to make sure he's safe.

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Re: My Brother - October 2nd 2013, 02:50 PM

I agree with what Nicole (Silhouette) is saying. I don't think Marijuana is a gateway drug as it has been shown to have some purpose, for medicinal uses. I think that you could try to have a chat with your brother letting him know that you are worried about him and you wanted to make sure he is ok. You should only bring in the parents if he starts to abuse other drugs, that may be worse and he starts to abuse them and he starts to get into trouble.

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Re: My Brother - October 3rd 2013, 04:06 PM

I am the third person who is going to have to comment on the fact that I don't agree with the fact that "marijuana is a gateway" drug. Loads of people do or have smoked weed and that is where their boundary is. There are actually a lot of pretty good reasons why people are not willing to use anything else.

My rationale is that if someone going to use other drugs it's not going to matter which drug they've tried first, they're going to do it regardless. I think that most of the time the main reason people get the idea that marijuana is a"gateway" drug is simply because it is probably the most majorly used substance besides alcohol and cigarettes so people can just get a hold of it easier, as opposed to other substances like oxys, ecstasy or shrooms which people might need to work harder to find. So that's part of it. Another reason it might appear that way is that if someone wants to try stuff they might be worried about trying harder ones first and choose to do marijuana first.... My point is that people have boundaries. It's not like people just get bored of marijuana and just can't help but move onto other drugs, the people who use other drugs tend to be the ones who never had a problem with it in the first place and just "happened" to use weed to begin with or something happens where they decide its a good idea (ex. new friends and such)... In fact I know many people who don't smoke weed but they do use other harder drugs. But weed on its own is NOT a trigger that leads to other drugs.

Sorry for that rant, but clearly it's a concern or you wouldn't of said anything about it. I just want to make sure you know tat just cause your brother is smoking weed doesn't mean he's suddenly at risk to go off in another way with other drugs.

He probably knows you might know. He's probably fully aware of the fact you might of smelled it by now. I wouldn't tell your parents unless you are absolutely positive he's at risk. And the mere use of marijuana is NOT a positive factor for being at risk. As someone who used to smoke weed I can guarantee that telling your parents about it will cause more problems then it is worth.

If he has a job or school or anything I hope he is NOT using at work and still taking the time to study. But again, whether you tell your parents or not won't change that, he's an adult so it's not as if he can't move out and do what ever he wants elsewhere.

You could always just let him know that you smelled weed the other day and that since that's not something you're into you're just worried about it and wanted to talk to him about it. Don't go and attack him, don't skew what you say so that he's automatically defensive and don't grill him, but just keep it simply and let him give an explanation. Going in and being like "omg your doing this and it's so bad and I'm gonna tell blah bah blah"... bad idea, just tell him you know cause you smelled it and saw his behaviour change as a result of it. The behaviour change is what you should definitely point to, tell him that's why you're so worried. And just go from there.

At the end of the day though he's a 19 year old boy, chances are he'll do this for a bit and then realize it is stupid and move on with his life as a lot of young people do. So aside from talking to him all I can really suggest is to watch out for any really concerning behaviours or developments. But for now, him acting strange after he smokes seems to be the biggest worry, and that's not suprising since weed can sort of make you spacey, distracted and kind of like "mellow" seeming... some people might get paranoid though lol... But behaving a bit "off" isn't unusual after smoking so yeah...

Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat or have questions
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Re: My Brother - October 9th 2013, 07:43 PM

It is good that you're concerned. Marijuana might not be a gateway drug for some, but for others it is. You should at least ask him if he wants to do anything else and express your concern.

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Re: My Brother - October 15th 2013, 05:11 PM

The whole "marijuana is a gateway drug" thing. It can be. I had a friend, who when he started school, was revolted by the idea of smoking. He ended up trying it, as everyone does. Thats no biggy.
He then tried weed. I though "hey, no big deal, mot people try it". He smoked it a lot. Nevertheless, its not terribly bad for you. He started to hang around with the stoners. He went from "Weed is cool but never anything else" to "Fuck, you haven't done MD yet? Why not?"
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Re: My Brother - October 18th 2013, 08:10 PM

Thank you all for your responses, and I didn't mean to sound rude or misinformed when I stated that marijuana is a gateway drug. That is what I've always been told in school, and I suppose I've never had a reason to assume that it wasn't true. Thank you all for your responses, and I apologize for my initial comment.
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