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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
UltraViolet Offline
Emotionally Unstable
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Name: Lea
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: UK

Posts: 403
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Join Date: January 6th 2009

ohhh dear. - April 26th 2009, 09:42 PM

im 19.
and i drink tooo much.
im not proud.
but i dont want to stop?hmmm
i dont think i can stop.
idk.
least i said it.
my dad told me that he thinks i drink to much.
because he saw me drink a litre of vodka in a week.
i drank more than that,
but he didnt see me.
i can buy it, im od enough in the uk.
idk what to do or say.
i dont think im even askin if people think i should stop.
but is that what i should be askin??
idk
weed aswell, to often just the feeling of not being here.
and cocaine every-so-often.

i just reaslised its a bit odd that i wrote loads about me drinkin.
but i seemed to skip past the drugs part quite quickly.
hmmm
idk, maybe i just needed to write it down.

xxx


'thanks to you i never trusted...'
- Boy Kill Boy




This depression is a killer...

Last edited by soul; April 27th 2009 at 08:29 PM. Reason: Added triggering to the title because of the content of the post
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
soul Offline
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Name: Mimi
Gender: Female

Posts: 922
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Re: ohhh dear. - April 27th 2009, 08:26 PM

Hey Lea,

If you don't believe you can stop you won't be able to. If you don't really want to stop you won't be able to. If you try to stop for someone other than yourself it won't work. The only way anyone can quit drugs/alcohol for the long haul is because it is something they want for themselves and they are willing to fight for it. With that said, no one is beyond recovery. Recovery is possible for everyone you just have to want it. Until then at least try to stay safe. Even if you don't care about yourself I'm sure someone does. Even if you're not ready to quit I would highly recommend seeing a professional about what is going on. They might be able to convince you to stop your self destructive behavior. With every day that drug abuse continues it gets more and more out of hand. Do something about it before the hole you're digging yourself gets any deeper. I feel like I am writing this response to myself. I'm in a similar situation. I know what I am doing is wrong... I just don't know if I care enough to stop it. Until recently I'd get concerned friends off my back with the excuse that I was waiting until I was ready to try and quit again. Then I realized I could be waiting my entire life to be ready. Sometimes you have to push yourself into doing something because you know it is what's right even if it's not what you entirely want. I said you had to want it to be able to quit but wanting it doesn't mean desiring sobriety with every ounce of your soul. More rather, just some part of you that you will allow to grow and become stronger than the addict within you has to want it. Anyone can kick drugs. I believe I can stop using even though it's been years of the same old thing for me. You can't give up on yourself. Don't waste your life like this. If you ever want to talk to someone I am here for you. I really do know what you are going through. You don't have to feel alone because you're not. Take care and think about what you're doing to yourself.


Lots of love <3 Mimi



As long as we can dream, there will be unicorns.

Last edited by soul; April 27th 2009 at 08:31 PM.
   
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