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josi_gracee Offline
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i dont want to go back to that. - May 19th 2009, 05:05 AM

I have been through some things that starting getting real old after about 14 years, [in a thread i posted on rape&abuse] so when i was offered some weed 2 years ago, i smoked it. It made feel dizzy and giggly, i would forget why i was so angry or sad. But after a while, i got tired of it, it wasnt strong enough. I didnt mean to start but i did. I started popping pills. I didnt and tried many diffrent kinds like: Xanax bars, LorTabs, Morphine tablets, Vicodin, Tramadal, Valium, Robaxin, Celebrex, Coricidon, Beans, etc.. But last September i over-dosed, i took 42 Coricidon pills and was rushed to the hospital, my heart stopped for 90 seconds on the way to the hospital. They told me it was to late for mystomach to be pumped and hey could do nothing but hook me up to an IV and hope for the best. I was put into the ICU for about two days and had to take potassium and calcium pills. I was hooked up to a catheter, since i couldnt move at all, i couldnt even sit up or move my arm when they came to take blood. After that i stopped with the pills, but i was getting anxious and wanted to froget or at least 'go away' for a little bit again. So i started cocaine, i didnt lke my nose bleeding so i looked for othre things. I was introduced to morphine, and heroine. i didnt like the idea of heroine so much, so i did the morphne, but it wasnt enough so i mixed it. a really close friend noticed and begged me to stop told me i would lose them if i didnt. i have been sober for almost three weeks now, but i am still jumpy. i started on cigarettes and i have to have a beer 'every' night before be. I lost and confused and i dont want to start back on that road again, i know i dont really have a reason too, but i did it anyways, and i dont want to go back to it.
   
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Re: i dont want to go back to that. - May 19th 2009, 10:40 AM

Would any kind of group support meeting be something you're interested in? Having others around you who understand and know what you're going through can help kick habits.

It's awesome you've been sober for 3 weeks, but don't be surprised that you're still feeling side effects. With the drugs you've taken and with consideration of the amount, detox and the side effects going away will take more than 3 weeks to really get out of your system. You know what you've been through and how hard it was and you know you don't want to go back there, which is good progress in itself.

If you think any kind of support group would help you, we have links around the site or you can do a local Google search for meetings in your area.
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Re: i dont want to go back to that. - May 20th 2009, 02:12 PM

I think you need to go to a rehab or atleast a group to talk to someone about this. You're not willing yourself away from the drugs, you just keep switching your substances. You went from pot to pills. Pills to hard drugs. Hard drugs to cigarettes and a beer every night. It's not healthy.
   
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