So I have a story, It's a story about how I became addicted to drugs and my battle for recovery and I also have a message for those who know or are someone who does drugs and are trying to recover and battle addiction.
It all started when i was 10 when my dad died. When he died I became a completely different person, I became severely depressed and I was on medication ( I still am I still have depression ). So then as time passed I had a new attitude,I kept getting kicked out of schools and my mom decided it was best to send me to a boarding school because that was the only school that would accept me so I went to boarding school up until the age of 14. During my time there I had a friend let's call him Jackson and we were best friends. So When I was 13 Jackson and Me secretly met up one day because he had to show me something and that something was drugs.When I got out of boarding school I had changed completely.I came back with tattoos and I was buff and my attitude also changed.I wasn't the sad boy anymore I was the acting tough badass who did drugs to hide the fact that I was upset about his death. When I got out of boarding school ( I was 14 ) I still had my drug abuse. So one day, I was at a party it was a heavy party only to result in me overdosing on heroine and I had a seizure. Even after the seizure I kept doing drugs ( all kind of drugs ) . I did them in secret because my parents are the kind of parents who care about their child and their image as parents.Flash foward to age 15, My drug abuse got heavier because i still had that depression and anxiety so with depression and anxiety I had a mental breakdown and i went to a mental facility. So One day my best friend ( she knew about my drug abuse ) she decided to tell my family and get me some help. So Then I went to a rehab center where I was getting help. I'm still getting help, I don't go to public school anymore I'm homeschooled because that's what my mom thought was best for me.I finally accepted my dad's death it was hard. I had a hard time accepting my dad's death realizing that I used drugs and alcohol as a way to cope with my dad's death because I didn't want to accept the fact that my dad is dead.
So here's a message for any of you on teenhelp, who know someone or is someone who does drugs, Doing drugs to cope with feelings or someones death is not ok. I used drugs to cope with depression and anxiety and my dad's death.I knew it wasn't ok what I was doing. I knew it wasn't a correct way to cope.But I got addicted. I tried so many times before to stop but I couldn't because my addiction was so strong.
Of course you know doing drugs is a bad thing. Whether from being curious, or doing it from a dare or whatever, you know its dangerous and addictive.So I also know the struggle of keeping secrets from the people you love from doing drugs. The struggle of finding any way to get money so you get some drugs. And the hurt others feel about drug abuse. Even during my drug abuse I had upset some people close to me and I felt horrible about it. I still do.So if your out there thinking if your all alone you're not. You're not alone, and if you want to get some help go get some help because you know perfectly well that trying to cure yourself will never work.By receiving help I regained the trust of the people closest to me.So I give thanks to those who have helped me during recovery. Just remember your not alone in this I know recovery is hard and so is addiction.
I'm here for anyone who has any questions or concerns. So if you ever want to message me about a concern don't hesitate to do it. I'm here to help.
Thank you for sharing your story here on TeenHelp about your struggling and combat with substance use. It is an inspiration to see that someone can get help and overcome anything they no longer want to experience (in your case drugs).
If you need to express your feelings or stories about your dad you can always post in Self Expression and you can also talk and/or express yourself in our Death and Grieving forums. These might be helpful for you. You can even Blog here to talk about your day to day stuff, I find the Blog section to be helpful for me and many others find it helpful as well.
Maybe I'm foolish Maybe I'm blind Thinking I can see through this Take a look in the mirror And what do you see Do you see it clearer
Some people got the real problems Some people out of luck Some people think I can solve them
I'm only human I make mistakes Don't put the blame on me