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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Unhappy I tried my first cigarette today. - May 24th 2009, 09:42 AM

And I feel like an absolute piece of crap for it. My entire life I told myself I would & could be better than that. And yet, there I was, smoking a cigarette with my best friend. I didn't cough because my parents smoke and i'm used to it.

I regret it - and it's all i've been thinking about since it's happened. I don't want to smoke anymore, I don't want to ever feel the guilt for going behind my parents' backs. But...what if I get urges to smoke again?

What am I supposed to do?

I feel like i've just thrown away my self dignity.
My breathing is still restricted. It took me forever to get the awful taste out of my mouth.

I feel like crying for being so stupid. My parents and brother smoke all the time, and I promised them I wouldn't try cigarettes...

I feel like a piece of shit.

Why am I so fucking stupid? Why didn't I go with my gut instinct and refuse?
I know it wasn't peer pressure. I just thought it'd be okay to try it once...
And I can't get over how awful I feel about myself now.

I'm being repetitive, but I can't help it. I wish I would have never smoked that...


"It came from a small paragraph in a paper which means you kill yourself and you make a big old sacrifice and try to get your revenge. That all you're gonna end up with is a paragraph in a newspaper. Sixty-three degrees and cloudy in a suburban neighborhood. The world goes on and you're gone. The best revenge is to live on and prove yourself. Be stronger than those people. And then you can come back." ~ Eddie Vedder

Last edited by ChittyChittyBangBang; May 25th 2009 at 12:57 AM.
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Re: I tried my first cigarette today. - May 24th 2009, 11:37 AM

Hi Sarah!!

I appreciate how you feel. I really do. You broke a promise you made to yourself. YOU betrayed YOU. It's no wonder you feel so bad. But let's take a look at this from a completely different perspective. First of all - you're human. And human's have this tendency to make mistakes. And that's exactly what you did. But instead of bashing yourself [Which you have already done - so you can stop that now!!] consider the experience a BIG LESSON. We all have to be on guard when it comes to life's little temptations. And ALL OF US are often tempted to do something because we're convinced [If only for a moment] that, "..... it would be OK to try it once!!" But truth be told - that's exactly how most addictions and bad habits start. As I see it - that 'one cigarette' just might have been exactly what you needed. That might sound like an odd thing to say - but PERHAPS the lesson learned from that experience will save you from buying into the "it would be OK to try it once' idea when it comes to being tempted into doing things in your future that are even more dangerous.

What's done is done. And no doubt - you're feeling quite humbled by the experience. But perhaps that new found humility [Insofar as realizing first hand just now easy it is to do something stupid] will cause to be even more determined to LISTEN to what your gut is telling you!!

GREAT BIG HUG
Craig!!
   
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Re: I tried my first cigarette today. - May 24th 2009, 12:25 PM

Hey Sarah its ok.

You made a mistake everbody does it dont be to hard on yourself. Most teens have a lot of peer pressure on them to try things like that. I tried smoking and didnt cough or anything and nobody around me smokes except for the friend who gave me the cigg. So I dont think that makes anything.

Why dont you just not do it again thats what I do. I tried it couldnt stand the after taste so I wont do it again. I havent gotten any urges to smoke again really.


   
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Re: I tried my first cigarette today. - May 24th 2009, 05:58 PM

Hey Sarah.
Don't feel guilty. I can definitely understand how you feel, cigarettes arn't exactly tasty by any accounts, but if it's your health you're worried about, I can assure you that you're completely fine, you might feel a bit short of breath, but keep in mind that might just be the anxiety over the situation.
You shouldn't feel bad, use this experience as a kind of reminder to ensure that you dont' smoke again.
I hope this helps.




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Re: I tried my first cigarette today. - May 24th 2009, 06:07 PM

It's not a big deal. Billions of people all over the world have tried cigarettes. It doesn't make you a horrible person and it doesn't make avid smokers bad people either. Smoking cigarettes is horrible for you, but it's not like you'll die from one cigarette. Just move on and forget about it. You tried it, didn't like it..that's okay. I think you are completely and utterly overreacting. There are far worse things you could've been doing but it was just a cigarette lol.
   
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Re: I tried my first cigarette today. - May 24th 2009, 06:27 PM

Craig said it all, chalk it down to experience. Now you have all the info, you can make an more informed decision hopefully not to smoke. Dont feel bad, youre a teenager! (we're all angsty and rebellious, so we do 'crazy' things like this lol)


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Re: I tried my first cigarette today. - May 25th 2009, 01:00 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by CanadaCraig View Post
Hi Sarah!!

I appreciate how you feel. I really do. You broke a promise you made to yourself. YOU betrayed YOU. It's no wonder you feel so bad. But let's take a look at this from a completely different perspective. First of all - you're human. And human's have this tendency to make mistakes. And that's exactly what you did. But instead of bashing yourself [Which you have already done - so you can stop that now!!] consider the experience a BIG LESSON. We all have to be on guard when it comes to life's little temptations. And ALL OF US are often tempted to do something because we're convinced [If only for a moment] that, "..... it would be OK to try it once!!" But truth be told - that's exactly how most addictions and bad habits start. As I see it - that 'one cigarette' just might have been exactly what you needed. That might sound like an odd thing to say - but PERHAPS the lesson learned from that experience will save you from buying into the "it would be OK to try it once' idea when it comes to being tempted into doing things in your future that are even more dangerous.

What's done is done. And no doubt - you're feeling quite humbled by the experience. But perhaps that new found humility [Insofar as realizing first hand just now easy it is to do something stupid] will cause to be even more determined to LISTEN to what your gut is telling you!!

GREAT BIG HUG
Craig!!
Thank you. That definitely helped out. I had the urge to smoke another cigarette today and I had the chances, but I refused. I'm trying to have stronger self-control.


"It came from a small paragraph in a paper which means you kill yourself and you make a big old sacrifice and try to get your revenge. That all you're gonna end up with is a paragraph in a newspaper. Sixty-three degrees and cloudy in a suburban neighborhood. The world goes on and you're gone. The best revenge is to live on and prove yourself. Be stronger than those people. And then you can come back." ~ Eddie Vedder
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Re: I tried my first cigarette today. - May 25th 2009, 01:49 AM

i have tried smoking and never thought anything of it. but it is good that you relize that.


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