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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Name: Lexi
Age: 17
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Location: In my head

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Join Date: November 14th 2018

Drinking at parties - November 15th 2018, 02:24 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of substance use, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So I pretty much attend school parties almost every week. Sometimes it doesn't even have to be the school I even go to . Lately I even try to tell myself I am not going to drink but not too long into the party someone is sticking one of those red plastic cups in my hands and I don't have the will power to turn down alcohol. I have been drinking some sort of alcohol either sneaking it from my moms liquor bottles when I was really young to cover up the abuse my dad was doing to me then it just became habit. I think deep down when I choose to go to these parties I want to be with friends and deep down inside I don't want to drink but then also I know I am going to do it. I really think I have a problem with drinking and I don't know what to do. I really can't turn to my mom or step dad because really they doth drink a lot themselves and they don't really care about me that much anyway. That is why I am coming here for advice.
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Latte Offline
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Re: Drinking at parties - November 15th 2018, 06:28 PM

I'm sorry to hear you are struggling, however, I would also like to say that I am proud of you for recognizing that you have a problem. I've known many people who have addictions and mental illnesses (I believe addiction is like a mental illness just like an eating disorder is) and accepting it can be really hard.

I have a number of questions for you:
Do you think you can stop drinking?
Have you ever sought out treatment?
Have you ever reported your fathers abusive treatment?

For now, I will do my best to provide some advice.

Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) provides tools and services for young people just like they do for adults. I believe they want to you to be at least the age of consent (e.g. 16+) but you're profile says your that old so I would recommend attending meetings and seeing what other services they offer in your area. I know from friends who go to AA that it is anonymous and confidential -- other participants aren't supposed to say you were there, and because most people want privacy in return, this is pretty well respected.

Access therapy if you can. Depending on where you live, some health units or social service agencies are able to provide free or very subsidized counselling for those who have the financial need for it, so you can probably google therapy services in your area to find out and inquire. This will help you with the more in depth issues that have led you to drink. For example, you say you started doing it because your dad abused / abuses you and can't stop now. Therapy would allow you to address the underlying issues.

Consider reporting your dad. Child abuse, or any form of abuse for that matter, is unacceptable. Consider this when you're ready though.
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Drinking at parties - November 16th 2018, 01:48 AM

Give AA a shot. Google Alcoholics Anonymous and your general city/area. You don't have to be a certain age to attend AA meetings. Go to a meeting. Take a friends with you, if you want. Experience it, keep your mind open to what you hear. That's if you want help.

You could try treatment centers, but AA is free. You could even talk to a trusted guidance counselor at your school, if you want.

If you want more advice about AA, I'm around.

Take care.

"We accept the love we think we deserve."
"In that moment, I swear, we were Infinite."
"There's an I in Illness
and a We in Wellness."
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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
RORO Offline
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Re: Drinking at parties - November 16th 2018, 11:56 PM

I so second the suggestion of AA. I am not in AA, but I have been in a similar program called NA which saved my life. After going into treatment for dual diagnosis of an ED and substance abuse for the use of pills after I got I have have been involved in the NA program regularly and it is amazing and not only has it helped me stay clean I have met a lot of great friends in the process.

Now let me tell you a little about the program. It is something you have to be 110% dedicated to making it work or it isn't. It isn't something you are going to just go to and sit there and not get involved. You have to get involved and share. Yeah, it may take a bit to share. Not everyone just jumps in and shares their life story, but sharing is huge. Then once you leave the meeting it isn't over. You live with this awful disease for life. Like I said I did pills, but I can't drink or anything at all even though that really wasn't a major issue for me. If I started drinking I guarantee you I would start using pills shortly after that so it isn't worth it. Staying clean means staying clean from everything. It isn't easy AA or NA so go into it 110%. I wish you all the luck my friend. If you ever need to talk please feel free to send me a message.
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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
*Poppy* Offline
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Re: Drinking at parties - December 9th 2018, 02:38 PM

Lexi, I am not an expert on this at all but I want to congratulate you on stepping up and saying you feel you have a problem with drinking. I believe that is the first step to getting help for it. I really don't need to say much more here because it looks like everyone else has provided the proper resources for you in the above posts. I wish you the best in dealing with this.

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Been in pain like me?
Bought a 100 dollar bottle of champagne like me?
Just to pour that motherfucker down the drain like me?
Would you use your water bill to dry the stain like me?
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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Flight. Offline
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Re: Drinking at parties - December 11th 2018, 03:11 AM

Hi there Lexi,

Firstly, I want to congratulate you on reaching out for advice. I know how scary it can be sometimes.

As mentioned above, the best thing you could do it is to seek advice from AA so they are able to support you and point you in the right direction.

I hoped I helped and if you need anything, feel free to message me.

Take care.

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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Tattooed*Heart Offline
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Location: The State of Lovers... My Ass

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Join Date: December 11th 2018

Re: Drinking at parties - December 12th 2018, 12:50 AM

I agree with everyone here that coming forth and acknowledging that the drinking you are doing is a problem is the first step in getting help and into recovery. I highly recommend like the others have said getting into an AA program. I cannot explain in just one post how much NA has helped me turn my young life around with that program and support.

If you ever need to talk please send me a message.
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  (#8 (permalink)) Old
Effy2018 Offline
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Name: Michaela
Age: 30
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Re: Drinking at parties - December 12th 2018, 11:10 AM

I agree with everyone about AA. You are very brave to admit that your drinking is a problem and that is the first step in recovery. If you need anything PM me
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  (#9 (permalink)) Old
~Scooter~ Offline
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Re: Drinking at parties - December 15th 2018, 06:47 PM

Drinking at a party or parties is one thing, but admitting you feel like you have issues with drinking excessively is another ball of wax. Like everyone else I commend you for stepping up and saying "hey I have this problem." Most teens and I have seen it because I have been to school parties ignore they have a problem. Sure there are the students who don't, but there are definitely some who do and I congratulate you for recognizing it. I agree talking with an adult about this will get the ball rolling with the right services you will need to recover. Good Luck.
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