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Angry How to help her? - August 12th 2009, 03:44 PM

My friend is 15 years old. We go to a few parties occasionally, and get drunk, which I don't mind doing xD
However, recently she's been taking drugs. I noticed it a while ago, she was in a tent smoking some weed. I (whilst being rather drunk) questioned her, and tried my very hardest to get her out, and make her stop. She told me to get lost, and that it helps her relax. I'm not totally against drugs, but I always thought she was, and I just assumed it was the alcohol which made the drugs more appealing. But lately whenever we go to a party she's smoking something, and last week she took coke.
If her mum knew, she would FREAK out, because her mum took drugs when she was younger, and even had to go to rehab. I don't know what to do, but I think she's getting addicted somewhat. Whenever I ask her about it, she says I should try it (I won't) and that it just helps her relax and forget her problems. What should I say, or do?
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Re: How to help her? - August 13th 2009, 08:44 AM

Let her get on with it.

Every other teenager goes through a stage like this. We all explore different things in life.
Having someone nagging and digging at her isn't going to help the situation. Take a back seat, ensure she's okay but try not to panic too much. Most people dabble in drugs and 6-7 months down the line get bored and move on.

You say her Mum had drug problems as a child which will make her a lot more curious about drugs.

Just stick with her. If she really starts to go off the rails then don't take it as your responsibility... Tell her mother, school or whatever. Someone who can impose real help.
   
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Re: How to help her? - August 13th 2009, 03:16 PM

I have no idea what "problems" a 15 year old could be having that would be enough to drive her to do drugs at this point, but honestly, she's too young to be getting into that. Pot, I don't really care about much and my motto has always been that anything in moderation is alright with me, but for people who are mature enough to handle themselves and with someone so young, I think this could turn into a potential mess especially if she thinks drugs make her problems go away. That is without doubt the most laughable misconception about drugs. Don't pester her about drugs, but if she is noticeably changing and becoming more and more careless about the things she's doing it'd be the time to tell someone.
   
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Re: How to help her? - August 13th 2009, 08:56 PM

Agreeing with the pervious posters, most teenagers go through some point where they really enjoy drinking, and sometimes weed. Which, can be pretty harmless in moderation. You will probably make your friend really dislike you if you stay on her case constantly. It is good that you let her know how you feel, and now that you have, you should try backing off a little. Don't stop watching though, if she gets out of control step in again, or tell her parents.

The coke isn't something that is normal, in my opinion. Sure some teenagers try it, but that doesn't make it at all healthy. This is what I would be more worried about. Watch her very carefully.

Hope you guys can work things out.
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Re: How to help her? - August 13th 2009, 09:44 PM

Heyy,
Like everyone else, to me when you said she tried coke really stood out to me as the red flag. That is what I would be worried about, it's not good. Weed isn't that bad for you if it's not overdone, but it also isn't great. Would I smoke weed, no. I'm glad you said no though when she asked you, that shows strength and shows her also that if you wont do it, maybe it isn't too good.
If she says it helps her relax, maybe try to suggest alternatives. Life if you can tell she is stressed or upset, maybe you both could go for a run, or a walk or to the mall. Something to keep her busy. Good luck to the both of you!! Liz xx


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Re: How to help her? - August 13th 2009, 10:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chazzz View Post
Let her get on with it.

Every other teenager goes through a stage like this. We all explore different things in life.
Having someone nagging and digging at her isn't going to help the situation. Take a back seat, ensure she's okay but try not to panic too much. Most people dabble in drugs and 6-7 months down the line get bored and move on.

You say her Mum had drug problems as a child which will make her a lot more curious about drugs.

Just stick with her. If she really starts to go off the rails then don't take it as your responsibility... Tell her mother, school or whatever. Someone who can impose real help.
And sometimes they never stop and have kids, then ruin their lives like my mother did to my sister and I. I will never fully recover, and I think the beginning is horrible advice simply because I wish my mother would have NEVER got into drugs. I've never drank, smoked, anything of the sort. It's not a phase, It's curiosity. And sometimes this curiosity will ruin your life forever.

As for what to do, stop taking her to parties if that's all she does when she goes. Maybe stop drinking for awhile with her and try to get her off her feet.


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Re: How to help her? - August 14th 2009, 09:30 AM

I agree with the person above. Sometimes it's a phase - but given her past and that she'll take nearly anything she's given, I'm worried. Howwwever - I'm not completely obsessed with this, and mostly when she asks me about it I just say something like "Oh, okay." She doesn't know that I'm against her doing this. I really liked the idea of trying other methods to help her relax, and I think it's clever, so thanks. And yeah, I know that coke was "out of the norm" as it were, that's why I was worried. Thanks guys (: Very helpful ^_^
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