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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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help please - September 15th 2009, 11:31 PM

I'm sorry i've been posting so much recently, but i have never freaked out this much and i can't stop hyperventilating. I need some reassurance. PLEASE.

My brand new boyfriend, as I just found out, is probably buying some drugs off of this guy who broke my heart last year. I asked him what was going on with the guy, and he just told me. Now, it's not anything really bad or addictive or anything, and the guy i am dating is really great. He knows how i have an aversion to them because everyone I have been on dates with before have used narcotics and respects that, and even told me that he'd wouldn't talk to me when he was on them.

I asked him if he thought he was going to buy them and he said that he didn't know. He said he was torn. He doesn't want to turn into some of the douche-bags that he knows uses them and doesn't want to upset me by using, but i can tell he's interested.

He even said that he wouldn't be using that often, definitely not habitually.

I just need some reassurance. I know that pretty much everyone does/has experimented with drugs, but I can't calm myself down about it. I don't know why I'm getting upset. I told him, "I just want you to do what you want to do," and he kissed me.

Please help me calm down. I don't like being this upset over this. I know it's like practically nothing...but still. I am so tired of dating guys on drugs. And I know he is different, and amazing, and better, and wonderful to me, but I am still freaking out...

Please help. I don't want to be this kind of girlfriend.


how nice- to feel nothing but still get credit for being alive
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: help please - September 17th 2009, 03:22 AM

I know you don't want to hear this, but, drugs will change people. And even though he promised to stay away from you, that might not always be the case. Depending on the drug, he can become seriously addicted. Especially if he has an addictive personality. If you can, try to talk him out of even trying drugs. It never works out for anyone.

I can understand why you would be so upset. And that's totally normal. Anyone would be upset over a situation like this, especially with a loved one involved. Trust me, you don't want to end up with an addict on your hands. Whether it be a simple "harmless" light drug, or a hardcore one.

I can't promise you that everything will be alright. But be strong for him if anything goes wrong.

I wish you the best of luck~

If you need anything, feel free to PM me.


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Re: help please - September 17th 2009, 10:12 PM

what drugs are they if you don't mind my asking? you're obviously not for this type of thing, and your relationship can't work out like this. You two need to make compromises.
   
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Re: help please - September 17th 2009, 11:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Synaestheasiaen View Post
what drugs are they if you don't mind my asking? you're obviously not for this type of thing, and your relationship can't work out like this. You two need to make compromises.
Yeah, I know he's done pot in the past, but the one he was talking about getting was a legal hallucinogen? I think it started with an s... sorry, I wish I could remember the name. He did tell me that it wasn't that "bad" of a drug, but obviously, I'm not well-versed in matters such as these, so I have no clue if he's telling the truth (though he was very honest with me about the whole matter, so I have no reason to distrust him).

He's not planning on using habitually, and I told him that I didn't want to be in a relationship with someone who abuses narcotics regularly. I just don't want to be unrealistic when looking for guys, because I like him so much and I know that realistically pretty much everyone (at least the majority of the people around me) use them.

It's just hard...


how nice- to feel nothing but still get credit for being alive
kurt vonnegut
   
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Re: help please - September 19th 2009, 05:10 PM

was it called salvia?

If so heres some good information it http://www.erowid.org/plants/salvia/salvia.shtml

Last edited by Ollie-; September 19th 2009 at 05:42 PM.
   
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Re: help please - September 19th 2009, 07:11 PM

It's called Salvia, but to my knowledge it isn't legal anymore. Atleast not where I live. Salvia in general is not very harmful, but if your guy hasn't done this before, it'd be best to have him do it around experienced or sober friends. It's pretty much just a 10 minute trip. And Marijuana typically isn't bad for you, nor is it good. It's just an herb. I suggest you try erowid.org to educate yourself a bit more on the effects of salvia and marijuana because they really are not much to freak out over and if you're afraid of him using these herbs habitually tell him to atleast have the courtesy of not doing it around you or to make sure he cuts down if it comes to that. As an experienced smoker, marijuana has not hurt me in any way. It may change your guy a little, but it most likely wouldn't be much to worry about. In short, pot just makes you silly and hungry. All drugs come with sort of consequence whether it be big or small, but just know there are consequences. But as for salvia, i've never tried it but have seen friends on it and it's just something you'd need to babysit him for. Build trust with him. If you don't know whether or not he's lying to you, you may have a problem down the road.
   
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Re: help please - September 20th 2009, 02:12 AM

Hey Jen,
My advice would be to talk to him. Tell him you are worried and you don't want him getting into drugs. Tell him you are afraid he will change and just want the best for him. If you let him know you are scared for him, maybe he will want to change for you. Rather than telling him to do what he wants to do, encourage him to not do them since that is what is best for both of you. Just be honost and say how you feel. I'm sure it will be hard but I know you can do it!
~Alessa


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Re: help please - September 20th 2009, 03:29 PM

Yeah, I'm almost certain that's what it was called.

Thanks for all the information. I'm just trying to figure out what to do now. I think I'm going to talk to him today. I don't want to be his mom, especially when his drugs of choice are so...not bad, I suppose, but I think he needs to know how it does upset me, however stupid that may be.

Thanks everyone for helping me out. I really appreciate it.


how nice- to feel nothing but still get credit for being alive
kurt vonnegut
   
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Re: help please - September 20th 2009, 05:36 PM

Ah right, well if he does try it then i suggest you have a sober person there to sit through his trip, ive never done salvia before but ive heard its pritty intense, so just to make sure hes ok and doesn't do anything whilst hes tripping :]
   
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Re: help please - September 21st 2009, 02:45 AM

Okay, this thread can be closed

I talked to him about it today, and he said he didn't realize how much it bothered me. He said it wouldn't be a big deal to stop because he really didn't do it that often. Like I said, I have no reason to distrust him, but I will definitely keep an eye out just in case...

Thanks again so much. You all really helped


how nice- to feel nothing but still get credit for being alive
kurt vonnegut
   
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Re: help please - September 21st 2009, 08:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by flippinmayonnaise View Post
Okay, this thread can be closed

I talked to him about it today, and he said he didn't realize how much it bothered me. He said it wouldn't be a big deal to stop because he really didn't do it that often. Like I said, I have no reason to distrust him, but I will definitely keep an eye out just in case...

Thanks again so much. You all really helped
Okay, I'll close this now for you. If you want this reopening, please PM me. Or feel free to make a new thread. Thanks! [:
   
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