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kiddepue Offline
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Question Addicted to getting f***ed up? - January 25th 2010, 05:09 AM

I could write a book about this, but i'll try to make it short and to the point:


I've been diagnosed with "Severe" Depression and Social Anxiety Disorder for the past 6 years (todays my 20th birthday actually...). Both of which effect my life ALOT, and not in the best ways. I first started using marijuana to help me with my problems at age 15, and that worked for a while. I used marijuana and mushrooms (sometimes) all through out high school to help me cope. After high school, i went to college, actually joined a Fraternity and drank alot at parties. Though i never really partied, i mostly just went downstairs to fill my cup and drank by myself in an upstairs room cause i couldn't stand being around the crowds of people (S.A.D.). Soon i didn't even go to parties anymore and would just sit in my dorm every night and drink a bottle by myself and smoke more marijuana. I basically failed out of college and am now attending a shitty community college while living at home. I can't smoke marijuana in my house (parents don't know anything of my substance abuse) so i've moved on to snorting vicodin, percoset, xanax and even oxycontin (while still continuing to drink and smoke marijuana). I do this because it makes me forget about all my problems and lets me just finally feel like i'm normal, i'm not even sure how to explain it.

My question is, is it possible to get addicted to just getting f***ed up and forgetting your problems? I have no hardcore addiction to any one drug, just the feeling i get from ANY drug that will help me.

Any insight, personal experience, etc anyone has on this would be great, i'd love to hear it...
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Re: Addicted to getting f***ed up? - January 25th 2010, 05:41 AM

im kinda the same dude, i actually got the point where i was so addicted to bars (xanex.) it took me around 6-7 just to get a buzz. i still smoke and i drink like a cowboy.

im fucked up



   
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Re: Addicted to getting f***ed up? - January 25th 2010, 07:23 AM

I'm the same way man, I'll smoke till my eyes are completely closed and just stay in the same spot for the high, then I'll do more.

I drink quite a bit, and I snort percocets and shit like that quite often too, its pretty bad but it keeps me at normal.
   
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Re: Addicted to getting f***ed up? - January 25th 2010, 08:15 AM

I was at kinda the same point for a while.
I didn't really know it at the time, but I'm pretty sure I have some form of depression though nothing has actually been diagnosed..
I just had to get fucked up somehow because I didn't want reality, I didn't accept it, and I refused to live it.. I don't know really what got me out of it so I can't give you advice on that. I THINK it had something to do with my current boyfriend, but I'm not so sure I'm still trying to sort that part out in my head as this wasn't so long ago..
But I HAVE been there to a degree and I do know what you're talking about and I definitely think it's possible to be addicted to just getting fucked up.
PM me if you'd like to just discuss it. Like I said, I can't help you stop, but I DO know the feeling.
   
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Re: Addicted to getting f***ed up? - January 27th 2010, 04:46 AM

yeah getting f***** up is addicting, the feeling is what your body likes and wants instead of dealing with other crap in your life.
i myself can admit im an alcoholic and abuse ectasy, speed, and hydro. not weed, it should be legal haha.
i get intense urges to do even more hardcore drugs like cocain simply because i know it will f*** me up. thankfully i have not gotten my hands on any yet.
but im thinking you probably need some help, to at least stop all the things you besides weed and drinking since those are not as terrible.
   
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Re: Addicted to getting f***ed up? - January 29th 2010, 11:51 PM

This is dangerous, you really need to stop and get some help. This is extremely hazardous to your health. I'm not judging you or being critical, I'm saying it out of concern as a friend and a help member, you need to get some help for yourself.
I think you should talk to your parents about this, and tlaking to your parents can bring you guys closer and they can sometimes really help. They could get you into seeing a Psychiatrist, because I think that could really help for you right now, and deal with your addictions. Perhaps the anxiety and the depression will go away soon, but I do believe the drugs won't make it any better, they only make it worse. I hope everything can get better for you soon.
   
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Re: Addicted to getting f***ed up? - February 1st 2010, 06:29 AM

When my parents first noticed my grades slipping during freshman year of highschool they made me see a psychiatrist (who is the one who diagnosed me) for the summer because the school psychiatrist thought i may have had depression, then again the next year for a few months, it didn't help very much. I'm not a big fan of spilling all my problems to a complete stranger i've never met before (then again, look what i'm doing now...), even if they are a trained professional. I've only told a close friend or 2 about my problems, and it helps to talk, but only for a little, and then it's right back to the bottle or lines.

...probably should have included that in my first post

Last edited by kiddepue; February 1st 2010 at 06:38 AM.
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Re: Addicted to getting f***ed up? - February 2nd 2010, 02:05 PM

You need to get some serious help here, see your doctor or something. Your life is at risk.
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Re: Addicted to getting f***ed up? - February 10th 2010, 02:29 AM

Hey, I'm sorry you're going through all this. I went through a two-year addiction to DXM and pain killers. I saw doctors, went to hospitals, overdosed over and over again, was in the hospital for overdoses...
In the end of it all, no one could save me but myself. All the doctors and theripists were to keep me alive. And it helped, that was the first step. Someone up there must have wanted me alive, that's why I'm still here...and that's why you're still here. You need to find a reason to live, hun, a purpose. Something to hold on to. Don't give up your life for this addiction. Get help. Someone to keep you alive while you look for a purpose to keep you from using drugs. Like a theripist, or someone you can talk to. Take this very seriously, please. I'd hate to see your life to to waste as badly as mine and so many others have.
PM me if you need to talk, and please take care of yourself. Just remember you're not alone, okay? For real. I'm here for you.

-Melissa
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Re: Addicted to getting f***ed up? - February 10th 2010, 06:42 AM

Yes it is totally addicting! It's just so nice and relaxing to feel ok, to not hate yourself. It's just so nice to feel free of all your worries and problems.

I have such a hard time dealing with myself sober lately. It's just easier to let go. Obviously I don't let it control my life, I still go to class and do my school work but it's my end of the day reward. When all my housemates are asleep I just get messed up and sit in my room. It also allows me to actually sleep..
   
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Re: Addicted to getting f***ed up? - February 10th 2010, 06:47 PM

Does anybody know anything about Avoidant Personality Disorder? I've been doing ALOT of reading the past few weeks cause i feel like Social Anxiety was fairly general and i felt like i had something deeper. After a shit ton of reading through symptoms (i have 14/16), stories from people who have it, descriptions of it, etc, i believe my Social Anxiety can be narrowed down to Avoidant Personality Disorder specifically, though i can't be sure unless a mental health professional evaluates me.
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