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The Kira Offline
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Exclamation Scared to the point if wanting to die - March 16th 2010, 12:27 AM

A while ago i went to a party. It went so wrong. It was just an apartment with loud music and a bunch of punks, scene kids and a couple goths... It started off with a couple of cokes laced with rum and then out of nowhere came a bottle of vodka and the boys started making screwdrivers (vodka mixed with orange juice). There was so much alcohol and I drank so much... And then we started cutting ourselves... It didnt hurt... Or at least I dont remember it hurting. I woke up at the same apartment the nex night with one of the guys on me... I was in only my bra in a bedroom and he was on top of me. I just started crying and he woke up and can you imagin... Started kissing me... I just lay there while he was slobering on me, crying... I feel so dirty... I might have lost my virginity... I dont know... I called my boyfriend and he came and picked me up... We made a doctors apointment to see if i'm still a virgin and if not, I'll have to get tested for STD's. Thank god my mom is out of town. The doctor said she does not have to know...

I'm scared... What if i'm pregnant? And my boyfriend is really gentle about it and he said that everything is going to be ok... But I'v always been a good girl... Never in any trouble... I'm so scared


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Re: Scared to the point if wanting to die - March 17th 2010, 01:45 AM

Hey, Melody.

In all honesty, you need to know details about a party before you go to it. You're only 14, you really shouldn't be going to these sort of parties, in my opinion. They aren't safe and can turn into a really bad situation to be in really fast. I hope you learned from this experience that these parties aren't safe and you honestly don't know what you're doing when you're drunk. There's also a good amount of negative effects drugs, alcohol, and self harm can have on your health. Which is not good in the slightest. Hopefully, you will make better choices in the future about these things.
As for being pregnant and STIs, leave that to your doctor.

If you have an STI or are pregnant, your mother will most likely find out. The best out come here is you not having a STI and not being pregnant, but you should talk to your mother about these things. Sure, she might be a but angry at first, but you are only 14 and she most likely just wants what's in your best interest. Which might mean you being put on birth control and having condoms, if you aren't and don't already. Both are only beneficial to you and your health. Remember, the only way to be sure to not get pregnant is abstinence, as in not having sex until you are able to support a child on your own. Which, I highly doubt you could do that at 14 by yourself.

If you are using drugs they are illegal and, the one you mentioned, pretty addicting. Which is another reason to talk to your mother or another adult. It's very hard to stop using drugs, but it is easier the early you try to. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to stop.

It's also really good your boyfriend is being supportive and staying by you through this. Things will be okay and you will get through this, don't forget that.

PM me anytime.
Take care,
Immy.


“There is nothing beautiful about the wreckage of a human being.
There is nothing pretty about damage, about pain, about heartache.
What is beautiful is their strength, their resilience, their fortitude
as they display an ocean of courage when they pick through the
wreckage of their life to build something beautiful brand new,
against every odd that is stacked against them.” — Nikita Gill
   
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The Kira Offline
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Re: Scared to the point if wanting to die - March 17th 2010, 06:26 AM

Thank you for that. It really made me feel better. It turned out I'm still a virgin. But the place on my wrist where I cut myself, i cut it pretty deep and it got infected. The doctor is having me take antibiotics and pouring parixide on it all the pime. The infection is pretty nasty and painfull but I'm just glad I'm still a virgin and my boyfriend is too for some reson. But i did learn my lesson. I dont think I have ever expirianced so terror inside... But thank you, Immy...
I read your response before going to the doctor and i just braved up and everything turned out to be ok...


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