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Raylolo Offline
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My brother: Again a Druggie and Theif - April 11th 2010, 11:11 PM

In the past, my brother (now 19 years old) did pot and other drugs, but his main drug choice was pot. To summarize it, the house was total chaos, he was stoned all the time, he didn't have a job, he failed high school (had to go back for another year), etc. The house was just not a good place to be because h was always stoned and ready to pick a fight. The fights would get really horrible in that sometimes he even got into a fist fight with my father.

So, eventually he went to rehab and stopped hanging out with all his so-called friends that only did drugs virtually all the time. They are responsible for his addiction. It was pretty calm for a little over a year.

Now, he is starting to hang out with those same people again. He is coming home smelling like weed AND I was recently at the airport with him coming back from family vacation where he decided to steal-of all things-m and ms. I told him to put them back but he would not, so I had to tell my parents who eventually took them back to where he'd stolen them from.
Right after that I was talking to him telling him that stealing is wrong and so are drugs, but he's like "no, actually they're not." He can't even get through his head that drugs and stealing are bad things-so how is he suppose to get help when he doesn't even think he is doing anything wrong?

The cycle is starting all over again and I don't want to go through the chaos of my brother coming home stoned all the time and starting fights. I can not live with him, because I hate drugs, I hate stealing, ohhhh PLUS he is racist! I can't believe that he is my own flesh and blood-I get sick to my stomach when I realize I am actually related to him.

I talked to my mother and told her that I refuse to go through that chaos again and I told her "either he goes or I go" and she's like "then go, you have two feet!" Later she did apologize, but she doesn't plan on kicking my brother out. Therefore, I'm thinking about moving out. The only problem is I am 16 and I live in New York, so it would mean getting emancipated. I have no idea how to do that, but if things get worse I want to try to. Anybody have any suggestions or advice to get out of this unhealthy situation?


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Re: My brother: Again a Druggie and Theif - April 12th 2010, 07:47 AM

This isn't something you want to hear, but your brother is responsible for his addictions, nobody else. Thats like saying you are responsible for your own conception/birth.

Secondly, your brother is 19. I'm not sure of the laws in your country, but I suggest that at 18... you are your own person, you can do what ever you want. If your brother wishes to waste his life away doing drugs, then all you can do is let him go. Nothing you can do is going to help... so its best to let him discover what is wrong in his own time. One day he's going to wake up and ask himself 'What am I doing with my life?' and he'll do something about it.


I don't like to whizz in people's pockets, so I will always give you truth. I'm opinionated, so take what I say with a cup of salt.

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Re: My brother: Again a Druggie and Theif - April 13th 2010, 03:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DanielR View Post
This isn't something you want to hear, but your brother is responsible for his addictions, nobody else. Thats like saying you are responsible for your own conception/birth.

Secondly, your brother is 19. I'm not sure of the laws in your country, but I suggest that at 18... you are your own person, you can do what ever you want. If your brother wishes to waste his life away doing drugs, then all you can do is let him go. Nothing you can do is going to help... so its best to let him discover what is wrong in his own time. One day he's going to wake up and ask himself 'What am I doing with my life?' and he'll do something about it.
I know that he is responsible for his own actions, but he still lives in this house under my parents rules and they don't seem to be telling him(like they should) to get a job, help out around the house or go find another place to live. He is an adult and if he's not going to help out around the house and this is just his place to sleep until he goes and does drugs or sstealss again, then he should not be living under my parents support. I have big issues with him as well because of the choas he causes and since I do not want to be unhappy in this house again due to him I told my mom either he goes or I go. I have been to the point of depression and suicide attempts because of him and I don't want to end up there again.


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DanielR Offline
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Re: My brother: Again a Druggie and Theif - April 13th 2010, 03:31 PM

Ok, first of all... your parents are in charge. It is their choice as to whether or not they wish to support him. I'm thinking they see it as this: "Either we support him, or he goes out on his own and ends up killing himself on the streets"... You need to realise that maybe he has issues, and thats why he's turning to drugs. Rather than battle him with the 'Your drug use is killing ME'... maybe sit him down and ASK him whats going on? Stop acting like his worst enemy and act like a sister!

I'm sorry, but your only 16... you have no idea what can go through a 19 year olds mind.


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