he's too young...

[Alyak]

Hey everyone, so the last couple months have been quite hard on my family. My Brother started using marijuana at school... hes 14, to me that is way too young. He is currently suspended from school for using, this is his 2nd time. One more time and hes kicked out of school. I am worried about his future. I cant help but stress over this, im losing sleep, appetite, and becoming a loner. This is effecting me and the rest of my family... i just want it to stop. I think it has something to do with my father leaving 7 years ago due to drugs, but he is clean now, so idk. weve all talked to him... i just dont know what to do, please help

[Anatidaephobia]

I'm sorry about you situation it must be really hard for you. I know your going to worry about it but you have to try and look after yourself to as the way your going isn't healthy and you coulld get ill which noone wants.
Have you tried to get your brother to see someone about his addiction? He could really do with some professional help as this would be the best way to go about it. Try not to worry to much if he doesn't achieve his full potential right now in school there are chances now to achieve qualifications later in life so he can be happy in a job that he loves. But for now it's important to try and get him the help he needs.
Try not to moan or lecture him. I know that you wnat to help him. But by moaning your likely to make matters worse and push him away so things may get worse.
Best of luck and i hope eveything workls out
feel free to pm me if you ever need to talk x

[Gidig]

Hey,

I think it really shows how caring and loving towards your brother to be so concerned about him. I feel like a lot of people don't love their families like that anymore, and I really respect that you care so much. =)

It's really hard to watch anyone we love do drugs, even as a weed smoker myself, it's hard for me to learn that anyone I'm close to has started using anything. But unfortunately, you have to learn there really is nothing you can do. And you need to put yourself first, and make sure that you're healthy. Stress can cause so many physically and emotional problems, and I'm sure your brother doesn't want that for you either. So make sure to try to eat right, at least make sure you're eating healthy when you do getting vitamins and so forth. Perhaps consider talking to a doctor or therapist hat's going on, they can really help sometimes.

As for dealing with your brother, I think if you want to do something you should talk to him and make sure he knows you love him and care about him no matter what and you'll always be there for him. Tell him the pros and cons about smoking, and talk to him about when and where it's okay to smoke, and when it's not. If you can lead him away from smoking at school that would benefit him. Make sure he's not getting in the car with people under the influence if he's hanging out with anyone old enough to drive, or kids who think they can drive when they're 14. And tell him if he's ever in trouble, that he can call you and you'll do your best to help no questions asked and without a lecture.
The main way to get people to dislike your advice is by telling them what to do, or lecturing over and over things they already know, which I'm sure you've figured out in life.

If you ever need someone to talk to, hit me up. =) I hope you're doing well, as well as your brother.

[Dedalus]

I've unfortunately been in your position , only for me it was some very close friends at various stages in their lives. I suppose the first thing I should say is that you can try and help people, but when someone just does not want to be helped there's not a lot you can do, sadly. Secondly, so that you are aware, marijuana is a gateway drug - in the sense that it leads people to try other drugs and brings them into contact with them.

Now, what you can do - and the only thing you can really do is tell him how his drug use is affecting you. Most people who begin taking them have little regard for their own health, but very often when they are pointed out how their drug use is affecting those around them it opens a window in their mind. I had one friend who stopped taking one particular drug, because his family made him see how it is affecting them.

I hope this helps in some way.

[Alyak]

thanks everyone, i will most definately try these tactics, it has been a little less stressful, but no improvements with him, but ya, i will take all of your advice, i really appreciate it