My boyfriend tried cocaine

[RockrGrrl]

I decided to post this here instead of the relationship section because I'm more concerned that he doesn't do cocaine again than our relationship.

I'm hugely against drugs. I've always said I would breakup with him in a heartbeat if he ever did any hard drugs. But I found out my boyfriend tried a 'bump' of cocaine a week ago and I'm at a loss.

Someone offered him it at a party when I was there (I was in another room). And I didn't notice the difference. He waited a week to tell me because he "didn't think it was that big of a deal." BS.

He said it didn't do anything for him, he didn't feel anything, and that he doesn't care to try it again especially after seeing how much it upset me.

All I care about is that he never does it again. It's hard to even look him in the eye now, but I don't want to break up with him because he trusted me enough to tell me, even if it was a week afterwards. I'd rather have him do it and tell me than feel like he has to hide it from me.

So here's my question: How do I teach him a lesson to never let him do it again? Break up with him, or stay with him?

[Reverie.]

I think you should support him. cocaine is a serious thing, and you should always make sure he knows this. Depending on how much you love him, try to stay with him. Obiously if you don't then go ahead and leave him if you want, but I would suggest trying to stay with him and talking about it.

[Ngikhona]

General advice: don't ever break up with a guy only to make a point. So many girls do and then the guy is like "whatever" and then the girl tries to get back with the guy and he doesn't want to. Support him. Give him a positive reason to stay away from drugs rather than a negative one (ie don't tell him "Don't do this", tell him "Could you do this?"). It can be really frustrating to have a significant other who does drugs, but he's only done it once so really try not to get too worked up.

[OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!]

Don't break up over something like this. He's not a cocaine addict and he understood before telling you how it'd make you feel (hence waiting a week to tell you). If he didn't respect your views he'd either tell you and keep using cocaine or not tell you at all, however, he hasn't done either. You don't need to "teach him a lesson" at all because he already "learned his lesson". The way you're phrasing it, you have a negative view on hard drug usage so I'm inclined to believe if you were to "teach him a lesson", it'd be acting negatively to him and verbally beating him down. While harsh negative talking can work, there's no reason to do it now, it'd be over-kill.

[K8T]

tell him you debated with yourself about breaking up with him at least
that way he'll know you're serious