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Gidig Offline
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Name: Maria
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Friend wants to stop. - June 4th 2011, 10:07 AM

My best friend, and also the person who lives with me (and my parents, kind of odd, I know) told me today she wanted to quit her drinking and drug use. I think this has needed to happen for a long time, and our friendship has been kind of rocky because of it.

I'm really excited and all, that's great. But there's three things I'm thinking about/concerned about and would like your advice.

1. We do use a lot of drugs and all that. It's our life honestly at this point. We're fucked up in some way a lot but I feel like right now, mine is under control. This is forcing me to change my lifestyle too, and I'm not ready for that. Do I tell her the truth about what I'm doing, do I not do it around her at all or is she going to feel like I'm sneaking around? I can even do both, but I don't want her to feel awkward and like our friendship has changed.

2. How do I best support her without being pushy? I've offered to go to AA meetings with her if she feels those would be beneficial and was honest about how I thought she should see a therapist. And told her I'm behind her 100% and will always support her and be there to listen.

3. I've grown up around addicts and people who have addiction problems. I know when someone says they're going to stop, doesn't mean they will or will forever. How do I not get my hopes up? Because it's really going to hurt me when/if she drinks, and that's not the reaction I should have. But I can't be negative either...

Sorry about the length. Thanks for any advice or anything. ^_^

Maria.



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Re: Friend wants to stop. - June 6th 2011, 01:56 PM

I don't have a lot of advice for you but I think if you're going to continue to use the drugs then it'd be best if you do it when you're not around her as this will remove a lot of the temptation she might feel. Also, it might be helpful if you stored your things elsewhere instead or put them somewhere with a lock on so that way they can't accidently be found.

I think the best way to support her is to make sure you listen to her, which you've already said you are going to. So if she says give her space then respect that.

As for not getting your hopes up, for me I always think of the worst case scenario that could happen and try to prepare for it. That way if it does happen, I'm prepared and if it doesn't then I'll never be disappointed.

I hope this helped


   
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Gidig Offline
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Name: Maria
Age: 26
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Join Date: January 5th 2009

Re: Friend wants to stop. - June 7th 2011, 08:21 AM

God damn. I got my hopes up too much... she didn't even make it four days. Heh. Should have expected it I suppose...



The best wayout is always through~
-Robert Frost

Proud member of the LGBT community.

   
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