Non-PG13 (Strong Language): addicted to smoking at 17?

[Rooni3]

Let me first warn y'all that this is really long and has strong language.


I've been smoking cigarettes since 8th grade and I was always the one that said I can quit anytime and I'm not actually addicted. But I realized that lately its been a problem. Whenever I'm having a bad day (usually everyday) I think 'I want a fucking cigarette. I'm going to have a cigarette.' I'm almost positive that I'm using it in the wrong way. Whenever I can't handle talking to people I smoke, whenever I'm stressed out I smoke, whenever I need somebody I just smoke.
I'm always thinking and I guess I even think in my dreams.
Last night I had a dream of myself sort of having an epiphony. And I just remember saying or asking someone 'I'm going to be addicted for life?' And even myself in my dream felt a huge weight on my shoulders. I was sad and sorry that I couldve let myself get to that point. And I realized in and out of my dream that that's I life I don't want to live. But obviously its easier said than done.
ALL got damn day I'll I've wanted was a cigarette. I'm like really upset right now. I don't want this I just feel like I need it and that is fucking PATHETIC. Wtf have I become?! I just really want to smoke again! But I just know I would be so upset with myself if I did. I still have a whole pack left this is terrible.
I want my damn cigarette.

[Dr.Bobby]

Lena, cigarettes are one of the few products out there available legally that when used as intended result in the addiction of the user/customer, with the result being serious health problems or death with long term use.

Also, no one ever wants/plans/intends/thinks they'll become an addict. To anything, ftm. The power of denial is what allows otherwise rational people to completely over ride the inborn, innate self protective instinct that allows us as a species to survive.

So, you're not alone. Yet, if you smoke as frequently and as regularly as you do, sadly, you're probably addicted. Which is why the logical part of you cannot stop, even though you really want to. Addiction=power of the body over the mind. And you see how frustrating it is to be so utterly helpless.

What you need is a lot of self control and self discipline, starting with the disposal of ALL cigs. If they're not around, its easier not to smoke. Also, get lots of support, and have a lot of distractions, things to do that will substitute for the nicotine. There are also patches and meds, but you should talk with your doc about them.

Be patient, and remember it's the first couple of weeks that are the hardest as the body rids itself of the physical dependence on the nicotine, so take it a day at a time, and don't lose hope.

[Iris. ♥]

I agree with the above poster. No one ever thinks they'll become an addict. I certainly never thought I would be addicted to drugs, cigarettes, and alcohol when I was 15. Breaking the habit is going to be tough, but if it's something that you're committed to, I know you'll do it! Find someone that you can talk to about your addiction and your goal to quit. It's best if that person is around you or talks to you a lot. Make sure it's someone that is willing to check up on you and hold you accountable for your actions. It definitely helps to go through things alone. You'll probably suffer from a lot of withdrawl symptoms though. Don't let that push you back into smoking. They won't last forever and you'll feel so much better when they're over. I know you can do this!

PM me if you ever need support or someone to chat with. I'm rooting for ya!

[Rooni3]

Thank you so much for explaining what's happening to me more in depth and for the support. This is so hard for me I feel so little compared to my addiction. I know this will hurt but I just hope my friends are supportive and can help me through this just as you guys are.