My Little Cousin

[BlueWolf]

I need a little advice... My thirteen year old cousin, whom I live with, came up to me today and asked me to help her get Salvia since she is not old enough to. She trusts me a lot because I've helped her out quite a bit, so she ended up telling me she just wanted to get high and she thought of trying Salvia instead of Spice, which is what she has normally been using. She said last time she did Spice she had a panic attack and wanted to try it with her friends. At first, I had no idea what she was talking about so after some research I found out how dangerous this stuff is!

Anyway, I also found out she is wanting to try PCP and I know from experience that stuff is bad news. Then she started talking about shrooms which I do not know much about... I then told her how horrible this stuff is and since ideally she wants to feel good and calm, I told her to just smoke some weed, and it's not dangerous like all that other stuff. But, I should not be telling a 13 year old girl to do that! I can get her some that I know is safe since I would be getting it from the same person I get my own from. She also told me of someone trying to sell her stuff that she heard was laced. I don't want anything bad to happen to her and I feel like maybe if I can get her something better then she will avoid the other stuff? She is going to do something, no matter what I say to her, so I think maybe if I can at least control what it is, it might be better?

However, I am tempted to say something to my aunt, her mother. I am deeply concerned and I don't think helping her get ANYTHING at all is a good idea. Yet, I don't want her to not trust me and feel like she can't come to me about this kind of stuff or to stick my nose where it doesn't belong.

Any advice on how I should handle it? I feel like I have to do something.

[Le bonheur*]

Hey Jessica, this seems like a very tough situation and you seem to be torn between two sides here! Being the cool cousin vs. being the responsible adult. I don't know too much about drugs and all the effects that come with them but I do recommend you mention this to her mother. She's only 13 and she doesn't need to be doing drugs. Maybe the right way to go by this is to explain to her how dangerous certain drugs are and ask her to stop trying to find drugs. Explain to her that even if she doesn't "hear" about a dealer having laced drugs, that there's still a chance they could be. THEN, tell her mother if she continues to come to you with this type of behavior. I really don't think she'd resent you if you're just trying to look out for her well-being... and if she does, hey; you know you did the right thing by saying something and ultimately you could be saving her from a road of dangerous behavior or worse. I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide to do. <3

[david2357]

it may be best to give it to her. when people cant get what they want, they tend to find a more available substitute. In this case, she may do other crazy things to get high : like she may start huffing (which is really dangerous, more so than any other drug), or she may overdose on over the counter dextromethorphan(to mimic pcp) or diphenhydramine to get high.

However, you are really lucky that they have salvia where u live, i have always wanted to try it.

no, i am not encouraging illegal activity (because i dont want to get banned from teenhelp), but i am saying that in this scenario, she would likely try a less safe alternative to get high. salvia is pretty safe, however, i do not think u should be giving her pcp, that stuff is dangerous.

[BlueWolf]

I have tried talking to her about it, but she is going to do what she is going to do. I would never allow her to do PCP and I don't want her to continue doing Spice. I told her that the only thing I would allow is Weed, and if I caught her with anything else I would not only stop giving it to her, but also tell her mom about it at that point, but I somewhat feel like I should go ahead and say something about it. Yet, at the same time, I think this is really just a stage for her that won't last long. I also feel as though if she is going to do something, I'd rather it be something safer.

[brokensmilexx]

Weed is the safest thing for her in this situation I would say. If I was in your position I would have done the same thing.
Don't buy her salvia, it makes people hallucinate and trip out, not calm them down, so it wouldn't do anything for her but give her a cool drug trip for a few minutes..or a bad one.
Although she's only thirteen I say supplying her with weed you know is safe is the best you can do. Hopefully she doesn't go on to try other drugs, although shrooms are fun, but not for a thirteen year old with a still developing brain. A thirteen year old on PCP.. o.0 oh lord.
Kids these days are all curious about the kinds of drugs out there. I know twelve year olds that have done e, shrooms, cocaine, and a lot of other stuff. And all of them will be messed up by age 16 I can guarantee.
If you do find out that your cousin is doing drugs other than weed, I would talk to her about it, and then her mother if it continues.
Best of luuck!
<33

[BlueWolf]

I'm doing just that. But I told her, if I find out she did ANYTHING else I will not only not let her take any more but I will also tell her mom at that point. From the sounds of it, it sounds like a phase she is in. A know a lot of kids that did it for a little while and once they got out of high school they just don't want to anymore. She mainly wants something not too strong that will make her feel calm, and something fun to do with her friends. Weed sounds perfect, she'll get to try it out, have her fun, and then move on without getting messed up doing other stuff.

[brokensmilexx]

Yeah, I'm sure she'll enjoy smoking weed
Especially if she's been smoking spice and liked it, I've never tried it but I'm sure its way more harsh on you than weed.. I'll stick to the true THC plant (; lol
But yes, weed sounds perfect. Just make sure she doesn't get caught with it either aha.
Best wishes to you guys (:
<33

[Ryan1]

To be bold, no 20 year old should allow the use of any drug to someone as young as 13. Youth are extremely impressionable and open to make mistakes that could be avoided if they were given better information from the get-go. So where do you draw the line? I’d start by letting her know the negative effects of marijuana and these other substances. If you smoke pot and she knows that, let her know that it’s a bad habit you picked up along the way and it’s nothing special. Don’t just throw your hands in the air and say have at it. two wrongs don’t make a right.

This isn’t a perfect world we live in and people make mistakes. It’s important to try and lead you’re little cousin down the right path – drugs aren’t the answer. Reading through some of the posts above I honestly had to give my head a shake, 13 year olds should be into more playful and creative things.

Perhaps look into why she takes these drugs, is it to cope with stress, is it because she has little to look forward to in her everyday life? These are all little things that lead to the bigger problem. Sit and talk with her and try to pick apart what’s really going on in her mind and work around that.

While many people may smoke a wide range of things it doesn’t make it right – thousands of people die everyday due to cancer. Try not to misinterpret what I’m stay in this post. You can’t control her life, but you don’t have to support something that should not be highlighted in a 13 year olds everyday life. To me drugs such as pot have become increasingly dangerous especially in major cities where people add chemicals to the plant to increase the THC count.

This is not a jab at you by any means. As an older brother myself I know the relation you have with your cousin. I know whole heartedly that you want nothing but the best for her.

Below is a link which has truthful points regarding the substance in question. In many cases marijuana is most dangerous when used by younger people because of its effects on a developing brain.

Click here

So I’ll leave you with that – if you’d like to talk I’m always available just shoot me a pm.

[BlueWolf]

Thank you guys.

I've been thinking the same thing Ryan, but I gave in for the sole reason that I am afraid of her doing worse things. I was able to get her to get rid of everything else she had after explaining how horrible they were. I would feel responsible if she started doing worse things because I feel like I can do something to make her not want to. A 13 year old is gonna do what she wants to do. I'm trying to make her not want to. I just want her to be safe and I think if I let her take some weed, then she will not want to get her hands on worse things.

Thank you guys for your support.

[Ryan1]

You’re welcome, at the end of the day you need to be happy with the decisions you’ve made. Regardless of what the future may hold for your little cousin don’t hold yourself responsible because you can only do so much.

I just feel as though the different pressures in school these days can really drive kids up the wall. In my opinion the impression you give her will weigh a lot in her judgment seeing as your who she looks up to, with that in mind be careful what you allow because it might open the door to other things you didn’t quite have in mind.

All you can do at this point is try to do the right thing and pray she makes it through high school with as few problems as possible after that its all down hill.