back to feeling numb

[l0stCause]

if no one reads this i really don't care but i had to write this down somewhere and i cant find a pen.
Its been over a year since i got out from the weight of addiction but i cant take this anymore i used in the past to numb myself from this world now i see why i chose to stop feeling in the first place im alone. i have no reason to feel parents hate me for not being my brother my ex hates me and my closest friend since childhood a man i have nearly died for ignores me. i got him a job helped him stay out of prison and now he acts like he doesn't even know me id rather go back to being numb back to using at least then i wont feel this pain

[Chris.]

Well I cant talk you out of what you want to do - but If you go back I can tel you what will most likely happen; You will be one going to jail. You will be the one 100% alone in a cell; and you will be the one who excludes yourself from society.

I have a feeling that you dont even attempt to go out anymore. Im not saying all this to be mean. Go out! Hangout with friends! Party! Build friendships! Live your life. You chose to be the way you are, this is your world, make it how you want it to be. No one controls your life but you. and No THING should control your life either - only you should be in control. Take control, my friend. And strive for a new life, and a new beginning.

Best wishes,
Chris