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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
sofiaaaa Offline
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Exclamation overdramatic best friend who has an amazing life says shes depressed ? - May 5th 2012, 01:48 AM

So ive been bestfriends with this girl since the first day of 6th grade, and we were just a perfect example of best friends. But 5 years later, shes hell to deal with now. Firsr off, she is majorly overdramatic. She got blood drawn yesterday and wouldnt shut up about how they took 2 vials of blood and how lightheaded she got and was " literally 2 seconds from passing out". My mom got blood drawn on the same day, she got about 12 drawn and she barely complained. My friends got an amazing life compared to mine, and when she starts bitching about how depressed she is, it makes me wanna tear my hair out.
She hates her dad for letting her get a tattoo. My dad used to be a huge alcoholic, id never seen him sober until i was 12. Now hes in the hospital every other day, he got heart surgery and is now getting a kidney transplant from my mom. Theres ambulances at my house atleast once a month, its surprising my dads even alive.

Her mom acts childish, and is bitchy and immature.
My mom used to beat me shitless. I remember id have to lock myself in the bathroom to hide from her, id stay for hours. If i was lucky, id get to call my dad at work whod tell my mom to back off his baby. But hed come home drunk, so it didnt make a difference.

her brother is 21 and has crohnes disease, and her family went bankrupt. For the past 3 years, ive been buying and bringing her lunch everyday because she cant afford it.
My brothers an ex crackhead at 19 and is a drug dealer. He physically abused me my whole life. I had to cover up all the bruises with makeup. He sexually abused me for a year and after that my lifes gone downhill. He doesnt remember a thing thanks to cocaine, so when i told cps they didnt beleive me. He stopped hitting me now, but hes messed me up.
Last year around this time, i was drinking till i passed out everynight. I was addicted to alcohol at 14 and was alone through out it, i had no help. The only thing that helped me cope with the withdrawals was self harm. I got unaddicted to both alcohol and cutting. But cutting was a habit that still comes and goes. Ive had 2 suicide attempts, and 1 accidental nearly fatal od. Ive never been diagnosed with anything, but i used to starve myself to the point where id pass out, and now its still hard to eat alot. Im underweight, ive got an irregular heart beat, im always cold, i miss periods. And then theres pot, i used to get high everyday for a month but i realized how my body and mind started to rely on it to feel happy ans normal. I smoke about 2 times a week now.
Ive had friends offer to have thier parents put me in rehab. Ive had friends families offer to take me in, but i feel like thatd give my dad another heart attack.
My friends life is perfect, shes so lucky, im jealous. Im the druggie messed up one who keeps alot of this to herself, while my friend tells everyone how she wants to kill herself. She makes me hate her. Am i overreacting? Or do i have the right to consider her an un appreciative assh0le?
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: overdramatic best friend who has an amazing life says shes depressed ? - May 7th 2012, 03:45 AM

Its sounds like you both have an adequate amount of problems in your lives. Hers may not be as extreme as yours however, do you think that robs her of the right to feel sad about it? There are people with lives that are probably arguably worse then yours, does that mean that you don't have the right to feel sad about it? Everyone has sad events in their lives, and all we can do is try the best to pull our selves out of it and learn from those hard times. Both of you have the right to your feelings about your situations.

My life doesn't suck nearly as much as either of yours, however I do get upset. When I do I go to my friends and I tell them how I'm feeling and what the situation is. Together we go over somethings I can do to make things better. Some of the people I go to have way worse lives then I do, others don't at all.
I understand the jealousy, however hopefully its something you can overcome and both be there for each other. I know sometimes when my really fortunet friends complain about stupid stuff I get kinda mad, however I try my best to get over it and be there for them, because that is what they deserve, just as I do.

If there is something about the way she goes about complaining that you think she could fix, then I'd bring that up to her and maybe she can go about it differently. But her life does not sounds perfect, and I don't think you should expect her to not emote about it, because that isn't fair. I understand your jealousy and hope you can over come your issues together. Best of luck bettering your life.
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Re: overdramatic best friend who has an amazing life says shes depressed ? - May 8th 2012, 03:46 PM

The thing is, you'll never know how hard her life actually could be. that's the problem now a days. No one really gets to see what is really going on in their life. You may no only the surface of what's going on.
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Re: overdramatic best friend who has an amazing life says shes depressed ? - May 9th 2012, 06:20 PM

From right now, it sounds like both of your lives, like Ms. Meow said, aren't perfect.

I know what it's like to have a friend that "overdramatizes" everything (heck, I have one now.) But usually I let them say what they have to say and if they cross emotional bounderies with me I tell them so. - There are a few ways to get around it, if you feel like hearing this is too much, change the subject, bring up something else and hope that it gets dropped there, or you can take a different route and just say that your not comfortable talking about it, or that maybe it would be better to stop focusing on those things and go do something fun.

I've said it once, I've said it twice, I've said it a thousand fucking times
That I'm OK, that I'm fine, that it's all just in my mind
But this has got the best of me, and I can't seem to sleep
It's not 'cause you're not with me, it's cause you never leave
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Re: overdramatic best friend who has an amazing life says shes depressed ? - May 11th 2012, 05:07 AM

You just know what she has told you. Maybe she suffers with something she keeps hidden like an eating disorder, or self harm, you never know what someone is actually going through because you are not them. Its not fair to judge her unless youre in her shoes. Yes you both of your own issues and maybe your life maybe harder than hers but its not fair to push her feelings or sadness to the side because you think your issues are more important or bigger than hers. EVeryone deals with situations differently, everyone has issues and problems they need to overcome, i'm sure people in the world may have it worse than you but that doesnt mean it would be okay to ignore your issues and feelings, would it? As someone who has dealt with ove whelming feelings and issues, you should have compassion for a friend instead of anger, maybe this is how she deals and vents. If she makes you so angry and makes you hate her, maybe its a good idea to end the friendship, both of you dont seem to be getting what you need in a friend. Just remember that you need to communicate with her in order to further a friendship, and she she may not know how you are feeling so talk to her, sit down and have an open conversation with her instead of keeping your anger pent up which will eventually lead to bad things and hurt feelings. hope everything works out for you.

"You're never gonna spread your disease,So take your hands off of me"
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Re: overdramatic best friend who has an amazing life says shes depressed ? - May 11th 2012, 11:43 PM

If you saw my life from the outside, you'd say I have a pretty good life...
With what my beat friends see, they know I've had my struggles and pain..
If I showed you everything's that happened to me you would be crying your eyes out...

Sometimes we can't judge a book by its cover.. Nor by its first chapter either.
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: overdramatic best friend who has an amazing life says shes depressed ? - May 13th 2012, 08:40 AM

while her life may not be as bad, it sounds like she doesnt have it the best either. i think it would be best to try and not get upset about it
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Re: overdramatic best friend who has an amazing life says shes depressed ? - May 14th 2012, 03:53 AM

Everyone has problems in their life. And I can bet every single one of us have felt depressed at one point of their life. I feel like I haven't had a good life as a teenager, but I also know my life isn't close to being as hard as other people's lives. But like so many others said, both of you guys also have lives far from perfect. Don't be so hard on her. Sometimes people can be more sensitive. And also, often times you become in some ways like the people who raised you. She sees her mom act the way she does, she's gonna act that way too. She prob doesn't even think about it, it just happens. She knows no different, thats how she's been raised. You need to let her feel what she needs to feel and she needs to let you feel what you need to feel. But don't be hard on each other. If anything, be there for each other. Maybe you'll find that you can help each other cope with things. Even though you have both had your share of sad things in your lives, I bet there's been positive things too. Try hard to think of the positive and encourage her to do the same.

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