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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Luv2EqualRCMR Offline
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Unhappy Without my bestest friend ever. - July 23rd 2012, 02:11 AM

My best friend and i are hardcore gamers (yeah yeah lol) and we play Wow together. We are both 12 years old and going through overreactions to small things sometimes. But this time she didnt even want to help.


So heres the story.

We were in a 10-20 lvl area and im a lvl 8 shes a 38. she was helping me lvl and we were having fun just going around the place. So i ask a couple of questions (everything is chill) we duel twice, the first time she let me win the second time i died with her first hit.
Now she gets on her tiger and starts running far off. i cant see her but i can see shes healing herself. So i for some what reason say "Where the **** are you ***ing going?" (i swear a lot online though i know i shouldnt) and then i ask to duel her again.
You need to know her brother hates me. So does his best friend. Once her brother actually minapulated us into thinking we didnt wanna be friends and he tore us appart. we overcame that.
Now she says to me
"Pissy much? Why do you want to duel me again.... lol who ever said i want to duel you again"

Me: "Oh hey [her brothers name]"

her: "what?"

Me: "Listen dumb*** i dont have time for you so go get [best friends name]"

I have major trust issues because ive been bullied since 4th grade and this year im going to 7th grade. im always paranoid. i seem like a social butterfly but really i just hurt inside.

so she says:
"This is [her name"
"I guess you dont have time for me either!"
and she runs off to a lvl 20-30 area where i cant go but i try chasing her get lost die a few times and go back to the inn where i live.
So i try to be mature and we talk

i dont know it all but its along the lines of

"Why do we always fight"

And i tell her its our age, were being irresanobale. (i have bad grammar i know)

i tell her everything i was feeling and ask her to share with me so i can understand her. She says

"The thing is i didnt understand that!"

Me: "what didnt you understand?"

Her: "Why we fight so much!? Were best friends were not supposed to fight like this."
"This isnt good"

Me: "We dont and i think we just fight mainly on wow, because psycologically because we cant see eachother it dosent effect us because we cant see the other persons face enough to care if they hurt"

Her: "Its not wows fault"

Me: "Im not saying it is stop putting words in my mouth, it started with you calling me a name you dont usually, your brother usually does, and i wasnt used to it, then you got mad and i got mad and VERY confused"

Her: "What i cant say stuff like that because my brother does?"

Me: "I NEVER SAID THAT STOP PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH" (i also have anger issues and connection issues where i get too connected to people to let go)

Her: "Your putting words in my mouth too?"

Me: "we dont fight that much. We only fought about my boyfriend (who is not my ex) and this and you how you stopped skateboarding {we had an hour long fight about her not skateboarding anymore} and a year ago one lasted a month and idk what that was even about"

we go through more talking and my new suggestion is we name things we like about eachother dont like about eachother and odnt like about ourself. i go first. i tell her i felt better adn asked how she felt. she said she felt the same. i asked her what shethinks we should do

her: "Nothing?"

Me: "You really just wanna let go of our whole friendship because of a ****ing duel?"

Me: "Sorry i overreacted again."

Her: "maybe we need time appart"

Me: "we just spent 2 weeks appart! I miss you dearly"

Her: "and i miss it when we didnt fight"

Idk what happened after that. She ignored me so i go on my other wow character and ask her nicely to unignore me. she really thought it was good that we hang out with other people. the thing is i have like 6 friends and most of them i cant hang out with. she ignored that character too.
Then her brothers best friend says to me"your a looser'
idk if she told him but i dont like how things thats her and i buisness she tells her brother who hates me and his best friend.

idk what to do. I could call her and text. she can hang up or ignore my number. so i call her home and she can hang up or have her brother answer (remember he hates me)

I dont know how to get through to her now. I miss her a lot. i 4get what happened the othr day but i thought about cutting myself, an i never cut myself before. im feeling very sad and lonley very furious towards my family, im not sure whats going on. we used to be but now shes were
   
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PSY Offline
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Re: Without my bestest friend ever. - July 23rd 2012, 07:26 PM

It's not uncommon for friends to have misunderstandings and fights, especially during middle/high school. It sounds like your friend just needs some space - and as painful as that may be, you need to give her that space, vs. asking her to "unignore" you on a video game. Maybe she just wants to play the game in peace, and doesn't want to think about her friend who's currently upsetting her. Let her have a place where she can de-stress (in this case, WoW), and my guess is that she'll get back in touch with you when she's ready. The more you push, though, the further she's going to pull away from you.

I'm sorry to hear that you're also upset with your family, and that you're thinking about hurting yourself. Please resist those urges, as it won't make anything better. It may relieve some of the pain at first, but it will keep coming back, and you could end up doing permanent damage to yourself, potentially even putting your life at risk. Find a healthier way to cope with all this stress - you'll be experiencing it for the rest of your life, especially during your pre-teen and teen years! You said you have a few friends... why can't you hang out with them? Is it because you're not allowed to leave the house, or because you're not sure how to ask them to hang out with you?






   
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