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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Lexx_08 Offline
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MY DAD!! :( - July 24th 2012, 04:32 AM

My dads an alcoholic. He becomes so mean when he gets drunk. My mom wants to leave him but we don't have the money. I've even threatened to kill myself because him and my mom were yelling and he had a knife saying he was going to kill her. He told me that he didn't care and to do it. My sister passed away in 08'. He brings her up a lot when he's drinking calling her every name he can think of right in front of her 4 year old brother that we adopted. Not to Mention we have a mentally handicapped person living with us that he yells at constantly. My dad always reminds me of every thing wrong with me and sometimes I start to believe him. I feel like a piece of crap. Lately I've been crying a lot more. I guess it's because I've been lonely. But anyways.. who cares.

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Re: MY DAD!! :( - July 25th 2012, 08:46 AM

I'm sorry to hear about the situation you're in. You shouldn't have to go through something like that and I wish I could comfort you more.

Do remember that the things your dad says are because he is intoxicated. Because of the alcohol. Are there any moments when his sober? Perhaps you could get him some help, to see a counsellor or something, or support groups. Maybe a certain event caused him to start drinking?

Is there any place where you and your other family members can go? Perhaps other relatives. I don't think it's safe to be in a situation like that. Whenever things get tough, I would probably stay out of the way- try to get out of the house.

Don't believe him because it's the alcohol talking. I mean it is just the alcohol blowing things out of proportion. You are definitely NOT a piece of crap, and don't let people tell you otherwise. Don't tell yourself who cares if you're lonely! Because it is a big deal, well to me! You're in a situation that is INCREDIBLY tough. You are not alone, I mean there's like a billion people here on this website, and on plant Earth, who are willing to help and have gone through the same thing as you. I'm not a professional, so what I say won't have much effect.

So remain strong throughout all this! And remember that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!


I know it's time to move on and let go... but I can't. I'm just... Stuck.in.time

   
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Re: MY DAD!! :( - July 25th 2012, 10:35 AM

I CARE!

I know what it's like to grow up with an alcoholic for a dad. It's not easy. The 'rules' change all the time. What was OK to say to him 'yesterday' - will make him really angry 'today'. Alcoholics are VERY tiring people to live with. They ALWAYS keep you on edge. "What's going to happen NEXT?!"

Your dad is abusing EVERYONE in the house. Shame on him. It's sad that he is unable to find the courage to face his 'demons' sober. But that still doesn't excuse his behavior. A 'reason' for doing or saying something is NOT ALWAYS an 'excuse'.

Just know that you are NOT alone. That MILLIONS and MILLIONS of people know exactly what you're going through. So keep talking about it. Posting your message was a wonderful step in the right direction. You have not only a RIGHT - but an OBLIGATION to take care of YOURSELF. And sharing with others what you are going through is a healthy thing to do.

GREAT BIG HUG
Craig!!
   
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Re: MY DAD!! :( - July 25th 2012, 06:26 PM

I'm sorry you're dealing with this horrible situation. =( Fortunately, there ARE options for you and your family, even if money is scarce. There are battered women's shelters (which can also take the children of battered women), which can offer shelter and other services (such as counseling and job listings). Given your father's violent history when he's drunk, I'm sure your family could receive support from one of these shelters, provided they have room to house you.

In the meantime, I suggest you create a "safety plan" with your mom and the rest of your family. This means figuring out what you will do if your father becomes violent again (for example, pulling a knife out and threatening to kill your mom). That could mean calling the police, leaving the house with important documents/possessions/money, going to a neighbor's/friend's/family member's house (and not telling your father where you're staying), etc. You also need to create a "safety plan" for yourself, in case you become suicidal again as a result of your father's actions (or anything else that causes distress). That could mean calling the police, calling a suicide or domestic violence hotline, asking your mom to remove any objects that you could injure yourself with, etc.

I wish you all the best, and I hope your family members can unite together in order to get away from your abusive father!






   
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Re: MY DAD!! :( - July 26th 2012, 05:22 AM

Craig... I never knew that about you. That was well written, and very touching. I'm sorry for whatever you went through in the past.

Your father's behavior is uncalled for, and it's time he's held responsible for it. As Robin said, next time he starts his behavior, you need to leave. Get the rest of your family on your plan, leave the house and phone the police once you are safe. Your safety, and that of your family is your number one priority.

Your safety is priority number one here.

- Justin



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Load it, check it, quick, rewrite it"
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