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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Why am I the only one of my friends to make mistakes? - July 25th 2012, 09:11 PM

So now I'm having more troubles with friends. just great....

So on june 27 at marching band i asked my friend bethany why she wasn't going to or friend kayla's party. she said "don't tell her i said this, but i think she is kind of annoying." and I wasn't going to tell her

but when her party came kayla was upset that bethany didn't coe and was questioning why in case bethany talked to any of us. i wasn't going to lie, so i told kayla. she got mad at bethany.

so then bethany texted her apoogizing and they made up. but now bethany hates me! I apologized in an e-mail because that was the only way i could contact her.

well i saw her today and she still won't talk to me! I don't see why. i opened my mouth when i shouldn't have and bethany opened her mouth when she shouldn't have.

any ideas what i could do to get bethany to talk to me?

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Re: Why am I the only one of my friends to make mistakes? - July 25th 2012, 09:23 PM

It's understandable why she is angry with you. She trusted you with a secret that you agreed to keep but turned around and broke the vow of secrecy. In her eyes, you're not a loyal friend and it's questionable whether you're trustworthy. It's not a big deal since it was just a small party and everyone involved apologized. She's fuming about what you did so the best you can do is let her fume. You already said what you had to say in the e-mail, although it would be more sincere if you apologized in-person. I personally wouldn't apologize twice over something so small, although if you feel it will help or feel guilty, then give it a whirl.

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Re: Why am I the only one of my friends to make mistakes? - July 25th 2012, 11:36 PM

You said Bethany opened her mouth when she shouldn't have. Why? She was being honest about her feelings toward Kayla. That's different from what you did, which was reveal information that was supposed to be kept a secret. I know you value honesty and didn't want to lie to Kayla about why Bethany didn't come, but instead of betraying Bethany's confidence, you could have said something like, "I can't tell you why Bethany didn't come, maybe you should talk to her yourself." That would have been an honest answer, and the outcome might have been the same (Bethany and Kayla reconciling).

It's a tough situation, and I'm sorry you're feeling like you're the only person who makes mistakes within your group of friends. Trust me, EVERYONE makes mistakes - you just might not see it. My advice is to let Bethany cool off for a few days, then try to talk to her again - this time, in-person, because it will be far more sincere than sending an e-mail. It takes a lot of courage and humility to apologize face-to-face, so you're more likely to experience a positive outcome if you tell Bethany in-person. Don't defend yourself, and don't point the finger at Bethany. Explain that you understand what you did wrong (betrayed her confidence) and that you won't do it again. If Bethany still avoids you after that, then there isn't much else you can do. Take it as a lesson learned, and choose your words very carefully in the future.

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Re: Why am I the only one of my friends to make mistakes? - July 29th 2012, 07:50 PM

You only wanted to be honest with all of your friends and I understand that. We all don't want to lie to any of our friends. Your not wrong you did what you thought was right but yeah the best way to say things that don't come out of what your other friend has said is just to say ''You should have a word with bethany'' something like that so that way your not saying what she told you what she thinks of kayla. I totally get it why you did it 100%. Anybody would've said what you said.
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