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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Maddiystic Offline
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Friendship Question - July 27th 2012, 03:52 AM

I have a question.

What is the point of being friends; What's so good about it?
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Westland cougar Offline
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Re: Friendship Question - July 27th 2012, 03:57 AM

Tell me what happened .
   
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Maddiystic Offline
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Re: Friendship Question - July 27th 2012, 04:31 AM

That's a long story.
   
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Re: Friendship Question - July 27th 2012, 04:36 AM

We have time (:




   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Maddiystic Offline
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Re: Friendship Question - July 27th 2012, 05:21 AM

Alright; if you want a long story, here you go.

When I was younger, I went to a school that to date still has the bad rep for student incidents and bullying. Unfortunately for the years I went there, I was among the targets. When we're young, we don't know how to like other's differences and don't know how to react when they're hated against. I've always been exceptionally weird to people there, and the teasing and taunting just went from there until I was older, and it just got worse the more people got older. I couldn't even walk down the hall without an insult my way or ask a "friend" to hang out over the weekend without someone coming up to me and being insulting. Usually that "friend" would walk away or do nothing. Eventually those few "friends" ignored me and moved on to other people. After while they just excluded me from them and their groups entirely.
----------------------
In the schoolyard, I tried to be alone. I succeeded until the bored people, my grade and older just came over and treated me like sh*t because they knew how to verbally hit hard. When our school added new equipment and a racetrack painted on the pavement, I either got booed at or chased away by some other people nearby whatever I went near. The other people just did nothing. They weren't doing anything physically wrong for awhile.
----------------------
To sum it up so far, I spent about a good 4 -6 years alone. It didn't hurt so much back then.
-----------------
After a very rough year and a few physical bullying incidents, I finally decided to transfer schools. It was a much nicer place, had a good rep on pretty much everything, and the people were generally nice and forgiving. I did find some people to talk to there-- a small group, actually. They were nice (so far) and all.... but there was a problem.
--
I find this kinda embarrassing to admit to especially because this problem is still here with everyone but...
I have no clue how to interact with them. And I had no interest in continuing to talk with them.
-------------
Something did eventually come up with the group and in the end we all sorta split up a little-- and I became "friends" with 2 of them-- things didn't go well, needless to say, and if you actually want to know about THIS, then here: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f18-f...unsure-how-go/
-------------------------
So, this leaves me wondering which leads me to asking the question I posted above.
Thank you for bearing this post and dumb story.

Sorry for posting again.

The frustrating thing is, I don't like being alone, but in real life I don't like being with friends even more than being alone.

Last edited by Chris; July 27th 2012 at 06:11 PM. Reason: Combined with deleted post
   
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Re: Friendship Question - July 27th 2012, 05:36 AM

You seem to have a fear of being let down. Like being bullied. Not everyone is like that, but you will never know if you never let anyone in and give them a chance. Remember though, everyone makes mistakes, so you can't be too picky on your friends lol. I tried that and it just blew up in my face. Also, there is no guarantee, that you will not get hurt or let down. It happens, you just have to live for the good times and get through the bad. (: I hope maybe this helped!




   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Friendship Question - July 27th 2012, 12:31 PM

Friends. There are good AND bad things that come with friends.

I don't think you've found the right sort of people for you yet. Once you find 'true' friends, they'll support you until the end, give you encouragement, listen to you and fight with you. To be cliché:
"They'll laugh when you laugh and they'll cry when you cry"

But maintaining a friendship is never easy. You'll come to tough times where your friendship will be tested and strained. If it withstands, it's a good relationship. Either way, through the things you go through with friends, it ultimately makes you stronger as a person.

To me, having friends keeps me looking forward to a new day at school when my life at home isn't so great.

By the way, the people you meet here on this website could potentially be your friends. Who said they had to be in only your hometown? Or the fact that they have to be human? Pets make great friends!

And if you ever feel lonely Maddi, you can always give me a VM or a PM! Stay strong through this and I hope you find a genuine friend. There are 7,028,926,161 people in the world. You just haven't been looking in the right places.


I know it's time to move on and let go... but I can't. I'm just... Stuck.in.time

   
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Re: Friendship Question - August 2nd 2012, 07:16 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stuck.in.time View Post
Friends. There are good AND bad things that come with friends.

I don't think you've found the right sort of people for you yet. Once you find 'true' friends, they'll support you until the end, give you encouragement, listen to you and fight with you. To be cliché:
"They'll laugh when you laugh and they'll cry when you cry"

But maintaining a friendship is never easy. You'll come to tough times where your friendship will be tested and strained. If it withstands, it's a good relationship. Either way, through the things you go through with friends, it ultimately makes you stronger as a person.

To me, having friends keeps me looking forward to a new day at school when my life at home isn't so great.

By the way, the people you meet here on this website could potentially be your friends. Who said they had to be in only your hometown? Or the fact that they have to be human? Pets make great friends!

And if you ever feel lonely Maddi, you can always give me a VM or a PM! Stay strong through this and I hope you find a genuine friend. There are 7,028,926,161 people in the world. You just haven't been looking in the right places.
Thanks for this. It's just been a bleak few months, and I just stopped seeing the point of it for awhile.

I hope I figure it out.

Love,
Maddi
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
Stuck.in.time Offline
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Re: Friendship Question - August 2nd 2012, 10:25 AM

Hi Maddi!

Naw, I'm glad I was able to help you out! I hope times become brighter for you soon!! Don't feel too concerned by the way. I mean heaps of people have lost sight in what friendship really is, and that includes me!

Good luck and I wish you all the best! Keep searching!!!


I know it's time to move on and let go... but I can't. I'm just... Stuck.in.time

   
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Re: Friendship Question - August 2nd 2012, 11:04 PM

Hey there Maddi!

I agree with Ani. Chances are, you just haven't met the people that are best for you yet. To be honest, my best friend lives two hours away and we have a long distance friendship for the most part. We get together sometimes, but we don't see each other at school each day. That's the thing. Some people do better with relationships that are long distance and others do fine with relationships with friends they see each day. It sounds to me like you are also afraid of being hurt by friendships again. I can understand where you're coming from here. I've had my fair share of bullying and friendships that have come and gone and it's hard to trust again. But like Ani said, you have to keep in mind that not everyone is like those that have hurt you in the past. Sometimes you have to take that step out there and reach out, having faith they will be different. If they are, awesome, you've just found a friend. If they aren't different, then that's okay too. There are plenty of people out there. And friends online can also be great. Or pets. I have a cat that practically lives in my room. Without her, I think I'd feel lonely sometimes too. :P

Oh yeah! If you ever, ever, ever need someone to talk to, you can always PM or VM me! I'm online almost all the time anyways and I know what it's like to need someone to talk to. =) I wish you the best of luck and remember we're always here!

~Angelica


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Re: Friendship Question - August 2nd 2012, 11:12 PM

so u have someone to talk to and truust?
   
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Re: Friendship Question - August 3rd 2012, 02:17 AM

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so u have someone to talk to and truust?
Asides from the generous people here, not currently. I'll try talking to others when my summer camp, clubs and school start up again.

Thanks again guys!

Don't even know how to express my gratitude ATM.
   
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Re: Friendship Question - August 3rd 2012, 09:21 AM

Like other people here have said, you seem to have a fear of being let down or 'losing' someone you spent a lot of time trying to befriend. From what you've told us, you seem to have VERY bad luck with friends. Whether it be bullying or simply befriending very two - faced people, you seem to have a knack for becoming friends with people who don't treat you right.

I assure you that there's a lot of GOOD people in this world too. Keep your head up and go out there and make some friends! You're past overdue making true friends who really like you for who you are!

As for your question, I wish I could tell you exactly what the point of friends are. There's the obvious stuff like loyalty, trust, and people liking you for who you are. However, you'll truly know what the point is once you make a good friend yourself. It's kind of like family or having your first girlfriend/boyfriend: something you can't really describe fully until you experience it yourself.

All the best, Carpe Diem.


Carpe Diem: Seize the Day/Moment. -Horace

Veni, Vidi, Vici: I came, I saw, I conquered -Julius Caesar
   
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Re: Friendship Question - August 3rd 2012, 06:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shade View Post
Asides from the generous people here, not currently. I'll try talking to others when my summer camp, clubs and school start up again.

Thanks again guys!

Don't even know how to express my gratitude ATM.
I think it's a great idea for you to reach out to the people around you in summer camp and in school, when school starts up again. Great idea! And of course! We're always here for you. And I'm sure the others are the same, but know you can always PM or VM me whenever you need to talk and I'd be more then happy to be a friend! All the best,

~Angelica


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