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Jonathon75 Offline
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Name: Jonathon
Age: 19
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Location: Rock Island, Illinois

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Exclamation Mom drinking problem... - August 9th 2012, 02:48 AM

Overall, the problem is that when Im sleeping, *I sleep very late, when I have a chnace*, or at some late time between 3-6, my mom will say shes going somewhere, Im like, ok then, just be back soon, back then, I had no idea, and would actually believe my mom's lies, only being suspicious about how late she would be out. She got a friend named Dawn, who I later found out did marijuana and has a bad drinking problem, she would take me over to their house, where I would sit, bored, with her son, nolan, and her daughter, journey, nolan being 10 and journey being.. I think 7 or 8, while they sat being drunk and such and such, goin through memories, the only thing that surprised me was how they hid it..anyway, the process repeated, soemtimes with nolan coming to my house, for atleast 1 and a half year, then it sorta flatlined for a while, with my mom meeting a religous old man named Nate, who really got us into religion. but they split up, due to... age difference. Months later, dawn and mom got back together, drunk as ever. Around this time, I got slivers of doubt and suspiscioun, until mom made a 'Promise not to ever drink again," the lie stuck for about 2 years,
she would go out, late at night, to get drunk at a casino, bar, or with Dawn herself. years later after all this chaos, I had figured mom was drunk with Dawn, Im not a idiot. Dawn moved to california. A miracle from god, but with one tyrant, comes another.. My mom got together and met with a army buddy named... I forget.. but ended up meeting his wife, Stephanie, in the process. She was.. a tad large, with glasses, and she had two annoying, *No offense, spoiled rotten,* kids named Kolby and Mikey. Mikey was 3, Kolby 6. Mikey, was a average 3 yr old, only downside being a lack of eating, preferring chips and sausages, yelling out, 'Chips!'. Dont think its cute, cause thats ALL he ate practically. Kolby the same way, getting what he wanted usually, and being a brat.. Stephanie drank, but casually, unlike my mom, who downed them repeatedly.. the first night they got drunk, I was there, on my laptop, downstairs, they were blaring out music, as my mom would do sometiems when drunk, they invited me upstairs, and I obliged, but ignored they're drinking... , I went downstairs, and played my laptop till about 10 or 11, where I went to a bed and went to sleep, knowing I wouldnt drive home that night. That morning, early, I was taken home. this happened about, 2-4 times, until stephanie went on some trip for a few weeks.. my mom stopped seeing her afterwards. NowadaysI actually KNOW when shes drunk, but she occassionally goes out with my grandma, getting drunk, sometimes crashing at Stephanie's, leaeving me home alone, or coming home late, poor dogs. We have 3 dogs, but I'll get to that later.. When she comes home, she exhibits different personalities, depending on how intoxicated. When shes very intoxicated, she'll be completely blind to the fact shes drunk, with the smell and all, she'll also not believe me when I say shes drunk, often being a little too close with cuddling, she'll either go out for round 2, or crash somewhere in the house. Midle levels, similiar ro high, but... not as close between little to none and middle, she'll largely do as I say, be it within reason, and try not to cuddle too much. little to none, she'll still be in denial, but leave me a lone a little more too, due to a recent talk and discovery, my grandma, who says shes a 'Casual Drinker', actually downs almost faster than my mom. My grandma and mom have a peculiar relationship, when drunk, grandma bullies mom, and back and forth. My grandma recently moved into my area, and has been here for a year, she works at a casino, and depends on my mom for rent cash. My pshycologist says My mom should stop paying for her, but my mom still does. I love my grandma, but due to mom fessing up, grandma uses me as a weapon. She insults my mom largely, and doesnt appear to be drunk at all, I used to be on her side, but now.. no. Mom did it today, as Im writing, and she is currently crashed. Luckily the dogs got let out.. What should I do? When I talk to her when shes sober, she'll get all religous and promise never to do it again, *If she fesses up at all*, then the process repeats. Luckily, stephanie and dawn have been removed from the picture, but now grandma is the problem. I love my grandmt a, but it seems my mom's phsycologist is right....
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Kate* Offline
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Re: Mom drinking problem... - August 9th 2012, 04:28 AM

Hey Jonathon, welcome to TH, I'm sorry that you're having to deal with all of this it sounds like it's taking a toll on you. Is there anyone you can talk to about it or a relative you could stay with, at least when things get bad? I would also suggest alanon/alateen it's a support group for loved ones and friends of alcoholics and they have programs in several different countries. Here are links to the US and UK since I don't know where you live.

US: http://al-anon.alateen.org/home
UK: http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/

Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012

"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
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Re: Mom drinking problem... - August 10th 2012, 05:21 AM

In addition to the resources Kate provided, I wanted to comment on something you said near the end of your post. You said "but now grandma is the problem." I hope you can start to recognize that your grandma is enabling your mother, but she's NOT the problem... just as Dawn and Stephanie weren't the problem. The problem is your mom's alcoholism, and it needs to be dealt with. You mentioned a psychologist in your post - is that psychologist aware of your mom's alcoholism? You're only 11 years old, and it sounds like she's your only caregiver... so depending on the laws of your state/country, she could be charged with child neglect/abandonment when she becomes intoxicated (to the point where she couldn't protect you if something bad happened) or leaves you alone at home in order to become intoxicated. Your mom really does need an intervention of some kind - not only to treat the alcoholism, but the psychological issues that are causing her to drink to the point of intoxication (after all, drinking is a way of coping, even if it's an unhealthy way of coping).

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