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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Name: Rae
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Location: Canada

Posts: 40
Join Date: June 26th 2012

Friend doesn't get it. - August 9th 2012, 08:07 PM

This girl and I have been friends for the most part since like grade 2, and sometimes we call each other sisters. Like everyone else, she's got her good and bad traits, but lately she's sort of frustrated me. She's been with depression for awhile (and has gone to a counselor), and she does have some family issues, which is understandable that she needs to vent sometimes. But there are times where she completely disregards what I have to say.

Like today she was telling me about when she has a kid in the future she'll have something to live for aside from her boyfriend, friends and family. I told her I only have two friends (only one, not her, that I'm really open with) and maybe 3 family members that I actually have a good relationship with. Then she says "Well at least you're not depressed." In June I went to the doctor and he told me that I probably had a major depressive episode, which wasn't my first, and it could be dysthymia (mild, chronic but can be called 'double depression') which I don't trust her enough to talk about. Not that she's willing to listen anyways.

Sorry to rant and if this seems pathetic, but I'm not sure what to do here. I know she has issues and I'd like to help, but it's 'Me talk, you listen' 90% of the time, even when I want to say something.

Advice?

Thanks xoxo,
Rae


I know how hard it is to feel like you're alone.
We've all been given a second chance, but the choice is all our own.
All my life, my heart has yearned for something I cannot name. -Andre Breton
   
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Name: Chris
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Location: Illinios

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Join Date: November 28th 2011

Re: Friend doesn't get it. - August 10th 2012, 07:24 PM

I think you should talk to her and tell her what you just told me. Tell her you feel like she cuts you off, and you aren't able to say anything. Express what you feel, but do it in a positive way and don't yell. If after that she gets mad, give her alittle space. Unfortunately sometimes even after talking to someone they still don't give you the time of day, however in that case you need to realize that you cant change them, or make them let you talk, so your best bet is to find someone that is willing to give you there ear. That can be another bestfriend, a friend, a family member, or maybe even writing your feelings down would help. Nonetheless I feel most of your stress is coming from not being allowed or able to express yourself; and its time that you find a way to do that.


Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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