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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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BlueWolf Offline
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Should I stay with my mom? - August 15th 2012, 11:34 AM

I live with my aunt right now. The reason for that originally was because my job was near here and I do not work there anymore. I am a full time student and spend most of my time studying, and when I am not I am always on the phone with my friends or playing with my cat. Now I stay here so I can keep my cat since my mom is allergic to them. I would stay here till I transfer to a bigger university and then go stay on campus there. Sadly, that is not seeming possible.

What changed it? Well, we got a new cat in the house, and she was infested with fleas. The other two cats got them and now the house is infested. EW! I've tried everything to get rid of them and I am still waking up every morning itching to death, so bad I started crying. For some reason, no one else is having this problem. Just me. My aunt will not let me flea bomb the house, so what I can do is extremely limited. I can't concentrate on homework like this and I am getting distressed.

My mom suggested I let one of my friends keep my cat (temporarily until the flea problem is under control or permanent if I can't seem to fix the problem) and stay with her. Stay... with.... my .... mom... yeah she lost her mind at that one. Why? I'm turning 21. I'm in college. I make good grades and yeah yeah yeah (I do good other than the drugs but I hid it from her before so no problem). The reason is because of how controlling she is. She does not care how old I am. She does not care that I am in college. She does what she wants. 9:00 I'm not allowed on the phone anymore. 10:00 to 11:00 I have to have lights out.... I'm.... in.... COLLEGE. I need to STUDY. That will NEVER happen!!!!!! So there's a fight every single night. She bitches, tells me how selfish I am and that she doesn't want me around anymore and blah blah blah. All because I won't do what she wants. She bitches if I'm on the phone too much. She will want to know my school schedule so she knows when I am supposed to be home. She won't let me leave wearing certain clothes. We fight, we fight, we fight, and if we fight enough she decides she'll hit me because I am challenging her and then like last time, threaten to call the poilice on ME. How lovely huh? Even for one night, things get like that. Where I am staying at is so peaceful, but I cannot tolerate the infestation and I'm in TEARS its so bad. I've tried everything I can that my aunt will allow.

To me... I'm fucked. I know most people will say talk to her about it... yeah, that only makes things worse for people like my mom and I like being able to eat. Move out on my own? I'm waaaaayyyyy broke. No money and no way of getting a loan. If I decide to move in with a friend, my mom will never speak to me so she says and will no longer help me with my car expenses which means I have no car to drive to school in. I've been looking for a job, but nothing yet. In the mean time, what on earth should I do?


Self-harm free since 10.1.2013
"You have not failed if you learned something from it."
"Life's not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain"
"Weak heart, Dying soul, Falling apart, Make me whole, These broken blues, Peirce your being, Hide the truth, You won't be seeing."
"Deeper, Deeper, Deeper inside me I live a life that seems to be a lost reality."
"Big Brother is watching."


Last edited by Chris; August 15th 2012 at 04:45 PM. Reason: Added Non-PG13 (Strong Language) title
   
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Re: Should I stay with my mom? - August 16th 2012, 04:17 AM

Hey Jessica,

It really doesn't sound like moving back in with your mom would be the best for you. As stressful as the flea situation at your aunt's house is, it sounds like living with your mother would be much more stressful.
So, rather than suggesting that you talk to your mom, I would suggest that you talk to your aunt. If she's not okay with flea bombing the house, perhaps you could call one of your local pest control companies to come spray your aunt's house. Them coming to spray the house would be quick, odorless, etc. Yes, this would likely cost more than a flea bomb would, but it would also be more likely to last more long term, and you could even ask the person who would come spray it for other tips on how to keep fleas at bay in the future. If that's not an option you feel you can pursue, then explain to your aunt how this is effecting you. It sounds like you might be getting bit by the fleas. If that's the case, show her some of the bites. Explain to her what you've basically explained here---it would not be healthy for you to move back in with your mom, and you enjoy living there a lot more, but that the flea situation is beyond out of hand and it is having a big impact on you. With school starting, you're going to need to be able to rest properly and have a more stress-free environment to study in. And, if it comes right down to it, maybe you could just go spend the night at a friend's house for a few days. See if things get settled at your aunt's.

I hope it all works out!



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BlueWolf Offline
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Re: Should I stay with my mom? - August 19th 2012, 03:28 PM

Thank you for your advice. Unfortantely, my aunt said no to me trying anything else and I tried to see if I could stay with a friend for a few days... my mom said I she would tell my aunt not to allow me to stay there anymore, nor could I stay with her if I was not home by midnight. In other words, I am not allowed to stay at anyones house. I tried to calmly talk to her about it, but she told me she wouldn't talk to me about it because she was the parent and I am still dependant on her and she does not need to explain anything to me, just her saying because she doesn't want me to is enough... I mean, wtf? So if I go anywhere else I'll have to find a new place to stay and I don't have any friends that would let me move in until I can support myself. I am searching for a job now, but no luck.


Self-harm free since 10.1.2013
"You have not failed if you learned something from it."
"Life's not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain"
"Weak heart, Dying soul, Falling apart, Make me whole, These broken blues, Peirce your being, Hide the truth, You won't be seeing."
"Deeper, Deeper, Deeper inside me I live a life that seems to be a lost reality."
"Big Brother is watching."

   
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