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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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lmk Offline
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Give her another chance? - August 22nd 2012, 04:00 AM

I had this amazing friend. We were like sisters. We did so much together and went through a lot. She has a lot of problems in her family (divorce, abuse, alcoholism, craziness in general) and so she suffered from major depression, self harmed, and had eating disorders. Through it all I stayed by her side when no one else did. I let her talk and encouraged her. Then she transferred to a new school. At the new school she met some friends with the same problems as her (cutting, ed, depression). Her new friends understood her in ways I couldn't of course, so she let them replace me. Instead of encouraging her to get better though, those new friends made her worse. She became a lot worse and kind of stopped hanging out with those friends. Once again she came back to me and there I was to support her. We were sort of close again and I tried to help her. Then she got a new boyfriend, and made some more new friends, and she finally started to get better. And once again she completely cut me out of her life. She walked away and stopped talking to me at all and never even said thanks for being there for me. It hurt so bad and I miss her everyday. Then recently she messaged me saying she missed me and wanted to hangout. So what I wonder is how many chances do you give someone? Do you stay friends with someone who abused and used you? And then left you when you needed her? I don't want to have to go through that again. should I give her another chance?
   
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Chris Offline
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Re: Give her another chance? - August 22nd 2012, 04:37 AM

Well I don't think she even knows how this is effecting you; and the best advice I can give is that you let her know that you are upset and feel that at times she cuts you out of her life; and then at other times she lets you in. If you communicate with her, you may find that things will improve. All you can do is try at this point. So to answer your question, I think that another chance (after you tell her how you feel) is appropriate. Now, If after you express yourself, and give her another chance she still keeps cutting you in and out of her life; then you need to decide what is best for you: to either accept that its not a stable friendship and deal with the in and out nonsense, or to put your foot down and move on to a more successful and healthy friendship.


Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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