Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!

Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

Closed Thread
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
FaithMcCoy Offline
Welcome me, I'm new!
FaithMcCoy's Avatar
Age: 24

Posts: 1
Join Date: August 25th 2012

My mom is cheating on my dad... - August 25th 2012, 04:40 PM

Today I stumbled across my moms secret, she is having an affair with one of her co-workers. My parents have been having problems for about a year and a half, they decided last year to take a break and my dad lived in a different house but they still saw each other nearly everyday and went out for dinners. He'd even sleep over in my mums bed on weekends.

But now he works away for 3 weeks a month and comes home for a week. Mum and him have got back together this year and things have been going really well. Until I saw something on her phone.
It may sound bad but my mum was out and left her I-phone at home and it kept beeping so I went to open and close it but facebook messages popped up and I saw these messages from this guy we'll call R. Her co-worker.
I know him cause she would continuously complain about him being a pervert and how he was cheating with J, another co worker.

But these messages were talking about how she wanted to go to adelaide with him and were sex-messages (sexts). My dad doesn't know about this.
And I don't know whether to tell him. My mum doesn't know I know either and I don't want to confront either of them and break apart my family.
My Older sister would be devastated and my Dad who devotes everything to this family and already suffers from depression wouldn't be able to handle it.
I'm 17 and I don't want to ruin my life especially in my last year of school.
But I feel like my whole world has been torn apart.
I just want someone to tell me what to do next.....
I feel so displaced, and so lost.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
PSY Offline
Hugh Jackman ♥

TeenHelp Veteran
PSY's Avatar
Name: Robin
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Southern California

Posts: 10,015
Blog Entries: 34
Join Date: June 12th 2009

Re: My mom is cheating on my dad... - August 27th 2012, 05:50 PM

Hello, Faith. Welcome to TeenHelp!

I am truly sorry to hear about your situation. You're certainly in a tough spot - you don't want your mom to continue getting away with cheating, but you don't want to break the family apart and make it worse than it already is for your dad/sister. What I want you to remember is that YOU are not responsible for the pain other family members may experience. You may end up telling your dad what's going on, but even if his depression worsens, remember that YOU are not to blame for that. Your MOM is the one who is cheating on your father - SHE is the one trying to break the family apart, NOT YOU. If you share this knowledge with your family, the responsibility and blame ultimately falls on HER shoulders for having had the affair, not on YOUR shoulders for having told everyone the truth.

What you choose to do is ultimately up to you; however, if I were in your position, based on my background, I would confront my mom first, and give her the chance to tell the family about the affair. If you give her the option to end the affair and NOT tell the family, you risk her continuing the affair and simply making a greater attempt to hide it from everyone (ex. not using Facebook/her phone anymore). Your dad and sister will be hurt - there's no doubt about that. Your mom will have the chance to come clean and start working on making things right again, though, and that's more than she could possibly hope for, given what she did. Perhaps this is what your parents need in order to REALLY get their marriage back on track (because it's clear that some issues are still unresolved - they may be living together again, but that doesn't mean their marriage is on solid ground again).

Closed Thread


cheating, dad, mom

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.