TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Phantom_Girl Offline
Actual Disney Princess
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Phantom_Girl's Avatar
 
Name: Meg
Gender: Female
Location: West Egg

Posts: 241
Join Date: August 21st 2012

How can I get rid of him? - September 15th 2012, 08:51 PM

So last year, this guy in my chorus class started talking to me. It stated when I saw him outside school once. He asked to use my phone. So I said okay and let him. He asked again in study hall a few days later. I said okay again. Then he asked for my phone number, and I said okay. I didn't want to be mean and say no. I should have said no. Now, he won't stop talking to me/texting me! Every day in chorus, he would come up to me and sit next to me. I'd be talking to my other friend, and he'd barge right in and start talking to me. I'd hint that I'm not interested in talking to him, but he doesn't get it. He also follows me around after school. Once, he found me in the hall, and walked around with me. I had to follow him, because I was holding his coffee. During that walk in the hall, he blatantly asked me out. He asked if I would ever date him if he asked. I told him no, I'm asexual. Which is the truth. He texts me a lot too. I have to text back, or I'd feel guilty. He said I make him so happy when I text him. I feel like crap if I don't reply.

Now, he is a senior and I'm a sophomore. He sill won't stop talking to me. On the first day of school, he sat next to me in chorus and kept talking to me. Later that day though, I found out I made it into advance chorus. He was still in the first level chorus. I was so happy I got away from him. But he also really, really wanted to make it into advanced chorus. He never did. I felt really bad. He said he was going to quit chorus. I told him not to, because he loves singing. But he said he's quitting because I'm not in it anymore. He ended up not quitting, but I heard from my other friend in first level chorus that he asks about me all the time.

Ugg! I can't take it anymore! I really want to get rid of him. He is annoying! He is basically stalking me. He asks if I want to go places with him, but I say no, and my excuse is my mom won't let me. I can't do this anymore. I don't want to sound mean or anything, but I don't want to hang out with him. I sound so mean saying this. I hate myself for saying it. So how can I get rid of him, but in a nice way? Joining advanced chorus helped the problem A LOT. But he stills texts me. He just texted me this morning that he is so sad he doesn't see me anymore. I feel so bad! I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I don't want to talk to him anymore. How can I do this nicely?


Savvy?

   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Adam the Fish Offline
The Skittlemeister.
I can't get enough
*********
 
Adam the Fish's Avatar
 
Name: Adam
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Location: Bristol

Posts: 2,343
Blog Entries: 6
Join Date: August 24th 2012

Re: How can I get rid of him? - September 15th 2012, 09:20 PM

If you want it to be less awkward, using text is probably best.

Something along the lines of, "hey, I know that this is kinda awkward...but, well, I'm sorry but I don't want to go out with you, and you're kinda freaking me out by constantly trying to get near to me. We can still stay friends, but...well, would you kind keeping your distance a little - for me? Thanks, and sorry - please still be friends! " may work (and, as a point, don't stay friends if you really don't want to, but it can sometimes soften the blow!


Skittlify me up...
Adam the Fish | 26/08/12 | 08/10/12 | 02/12/12 | 09/02/13 | 01/06/13 | 30/08/13 | 25/11/13
...spreading happiness and joy around the Internet!
...well, I try, anyway. .......................
private message.visitor message.profile.email
"May we always remember that we are the rainbow."
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
00escada00 Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
00escada00's Avatar
 
Name: Sarah
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Manchester, England

Posts: 54
Blog Entries: 3
Join Date: September 6th 2012

Re: How can I get rid of him? - September 15th 2012, 09:38 PM

I also think that you need to be pretty straight with this guy as he didn't seem to understand the first time that you told him. And maybe you would feel more comfortable doing it in a text. Tell him that whilst he's a nice guy, you're worried that he really likes you but you just don't have the same feelings about him and don't want him to get the wrong idea. As the post above says, you may choose to tell him that you would be happy to be friends though or you may not want to, entirely up to you. Just try to be as clear as you can, because sometimes being blunt (yet kind about it) is the only way to make someone understand.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Phantom_Girl Offline
Actual Disney Princess
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Phantom_Girl's Avatar
 
Name: Meg
Gender: Female
Location: West Egg

Posts: 241
Join Date: August 21st 2012

Re: How can I get rid of him? - September 15th 2012, 10:42 PM

Thanks! I'll consider texting him. I just hope I don't feel too guilty. He keeps saying I'm his good friend, and that I'm one of the prettiest girls at school, that I sing good etc. I don't want to hurt him too much. He's been hurt before.


Savvy?

   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
PSY Offline
Hugh Jackman ♥

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
PSY's Avatar
 
Name: Robin
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Southern California

Posts: 10,015
Blog Entries: 34
Join Date: June 12th 2009

Re: How can I get rid of him? - September 15th 2012, 10:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phantom_Girl View Post
Thanks! I'll consider texting him. I just hope I don't feel too guilty. He keeps saying I'm his good friend, and that I'm one of the prettiest girls at school, that I sing good etc. I don't want to hurt him too much. He's been hurt before.
Rejection hurts. There's really no way to get around that. You can't control how hurt he is over the rejection, but you can control how you deliver that rejection. Doing it over text messaging may be best, because even though you're denying him that face-to-face contact, you're ensuring everything that needs to be said is being said. It may also allow him to "save face" if you confront him "privately" via text messaging, vs. "publicly" by saying something out loud, potentially within earshot of other people.

I can assure you that he has plenty of opportunities to meet other "good friends," "pretty girls," and good singers. It's not the end of the world if you reject him (although he may ACT like it's the end of the world for a while, especially if he thinks he can guilt-trip you into changing your mind). Stay strong, and remember that HE is stronger than he thinks/looks as well. He can get through this, and so can you. You may experience some guilt, but think about all the RELIEF you'll feel as well!






   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Phantom_Girl Offline
Actual Disney Princess
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Phantom_Girl's Avatar
 
Name: Meg
Gender: Female
Location: West Egg

Posts: 241
Join Date: August 21st 2012

Re: How can I get rid of him? - September 15th 2012, 11:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by PSY View Post

Rejection hurts. There's really no way to get around that. You can't control how hurt he is over the rejection, but you can control how you deliver that rejection. Doing it over text messaging may be best, because even though you're denying him that face-to-face contact, you're ensuring everything that needs to be said is being said. It may also allow him to "save face" if you confront him "privately" via text messaging, vs. "publicly" by saying something out loud, potentially within earshot of other people.

I can assure you that he has plenty of opportunities to meet other "good friends," "pretty girls," and good singers. It's not the end of the world if you reject him (although he may ACT like it's the end of the world for a while, especially if he thinks he can guilt-trip you into changing your mind). Stay strong, and remember that HE is stronger than he thinks/looks as well. He can get through this, and so can you. You may experience some guilt, but think about all the RELIEF you'll feel as well!
Thank you! I just hope I can find the right words to say.


Savvy?

   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Member
Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
*thegirlinthecorner-TAN*'s Avatar
 
Name: Nakita
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: Lost in Wonderland

Posts: 469
Blog Entries: 12
Join Date: July 27th 2011

Re: How can I get rid of him? - September 17th 2012, 03:16 PM

i had this same situation. I just stopped texting him back. eventually he got the hint. plus i switched schools because of a housing situation so i don't see him anymore at all.





"Stop acting like you know what I've been through, you know nothing until you've actually lived every moment and felt every ounce of pain that I have."

"Someone asked me if i missed you, I just walked away then I whispered, so much" I'll miss you forever, Vernon and Charlene.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bWrL...eature=related
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
Phantom_Girl Offline
Actual Disney Princess
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Phantom_Girl's Avatar
 
Name: Meg
Gender: Female
Location: West Egg

Posts: 241
Join Date: August 21st 2012

Re: How can I get rid of him? - September 17th 2012, 08:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by *thegirlinthecorner-TAN* View Post
i had this same situation. I just stopped texting him back. eventually he got the hint. plus i switched schools because of a housing situation so i don't see him anymore at all.
That's good! He'll be graduating this year so that's good.


Savvy?

   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
Phantom_Girl Offline
Actual Disney Princess
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Phantom_Girl's Avatar
 
Name: Meg
Gender: Female
Location: West Egg

Posts: 241
Join Date: August 21st 2012

Re: How can I get rid of him? - September 22nd 2012, 01:28 AM

Ty again ppl for helping me! I've decided to just flat out ignore him. Maybe he'll get the message. I've stopped answering his texts, if he talks to me again I'll make excuses to leave, etc. I hope he gets the hint. TYVM again!


Savvy?

   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
rid

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.