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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Gemmyboo Offline
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Unhappy daddy issues anyone? - September 15th 2012, 10:45 PM

My parents are divored. My dad has practically no contact with me now. wen he did it was all about the money or how much of a bitch my mum was. He forever moaned about how broke he was and how much i cost him. He wqas never a dad on a emotional level and now i know he will never be a dad responsibility wise either.

He ruined my birthday, christmas and my summer holidays. We had to chase him for CSA and he moaned and groaned to us about how much more he needed the money even tho he was barely contributing to our lives. He has taken 3000 pounds that my mum spent alot of money clearing debt on and he hasnt even offered to give it to me and my sister because in his words "you have enough from your mother" and now hes taking his gf abroad when he said to us " i cant afford to take you camping im skint".

ive had enogh i want nothing to do with him ive wasted so many tears. The thing is its not about the money its about how little he obviously cares for us. He wasnt there wen mum was on the meds. He wasnt there wen my sister flew off the handle. and he isnt here now wen my mum and stepdads work is collapsing. Oh no... wait he was there for my sister to take her to home he drove all the way to plymouth *wow* what a f**king hero>

i just dont know how to deal with this i can deal with mum, at least she loves me. The best part is that his reply is always " you never contact me either, ehy should i contact you" im 15 and hes nearly 50 i should be having fun not wondering if illever see my dad
   
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Re: daddy issues anyone? - September 16th 2012, 11:26 AM

Sad situation, but to be honest, just ignore him. If he's causing so much trouble, ignore him and be strong, never let them get you down!!
   
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Re: daddy issues anyone? - September 16th 2012, 03:07 PM


I have the same situation, just with my mother.


[color="Blue"][/COLOR

Adrian Nacole
   
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Re: daddy issues anyone? - September 16th 2012, 06:21 PM

Hello, Gemma!

This is definitely not a fun position to be in. =/ I've seen this happen with some of my friends' fathers: they become very bitter and harsh toward their children, because they feel they're just "money dispensers" in their childrens' eyes. I am not in any way blaming you (if you say your father wasn't emotionally involved from the very beginning, I believe you), but I'm wondering if you think your father might be feeling that way. It could explain why he's always complaining about money - he may feel you only care about him BECAUSE he's giving you money. If you feel up to it, talking to him about what you really want (a relationship, not money) might go a long way.

Other than that, all I can suggest is that you hang in there. I'm guessing you HAVE to visit your father per the court's orders. Once you're an adult, though, you can decide whether or not to keep in touch with your father. Sometimes, it takes something extreme like breaking off all contact to make a parent realize they really do care about you and want you in their life. That's what happened with my mom. I'm not going to promise things will turn out the same way with your father, but when I stopped talking to my mom for about a year (and made it clear why I was doing so), so slowly came around and started changing the way she acted toward me. It's been five and a half years since I abruptly moved out of her house, and we're doing better now. It's not a perfect relationship by any means, but we can actually enjoy being around each other!

Good luck, and don't forget to talk to the people who are already in your life! You have your mom, other family members, and friends (including people on TeenHelp!). =)






   
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Re: daddy issues anyone? - September 16th 2012, 08:44 PM

Thanks guys. i have tried tot alk to him but it falls on deaf ears. its ok tho im fine. its just this stuff keeps happening. but im sure he'll come round.

Thanks so much
   
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