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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Friend from past coming to my new school.... - September 21st 2012, 12:07 AM

Garsh, like my anxiety issues aren't bad enough right now... A friend from my past may be coming to my new school.

Last year, 9th year, I moved to a new private school. To get away from the horrible people I was surrounded by at my old school, for better teachers and faculty, and because of how connected and involved in the community they are. My old school was full of people who hated working, didn't try hard, did drugs and dressed like sluts and the like (normal public school).

This friend was one of them. We were friends, but we always ended up in fights and she would straight-out attack me (verbally). She had a very unhealthy relationship with her boyfriend, and then told me she was just going to "slut around" and do things for guys.

Yeah, not the person I want to be around. I love being with people who work hard and don't "slut around". But now she says she might/probably will come to my school.

My dad works at the school, so I emailed him because, not only do I not want that kind of person around, but it would be some serious trouble if the school got a bad name because of her drug-use and stuff.

I just don't know how to handle this.. I have really bad anxiety issues already (I am getting anxiety disorder tests and tests for ADHD) Help?


   
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Re: Friend from past coming to my new school.... - September 21st 2012, 10:10 AM

Okay, I'm not an expert, but a similar thing happened to me. Don't get yourself involved with her. If you have new friends, there's no reason for you to hang around her. Ask for her to be put in a different homeroom class, due to the situations. If she causes you any problems (bullying etc.) which I doubt would happen, just remember that she is the one who has the problem, and she is the one whose fault it is.
   
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Re: Friend from past coming to my new school.... - September 21st 2012, 07:24 PM

Hey there,
Even though I've never gone through a situation like this, I do have people in my school that also act like that. The best way to get around this is to avoid her as much as possible and just be yourself. Don't let her transferring change who you are. Just act like she's just another random girl that you don't know. If you end up in a class with he, and she's bullying you, then tell a teacher or trusted adult. I have some friends who go to private schools and they say that the school faculty is very strict with handling issues that are affecting a students learning. Anyways, thats alli have to say to you. Good luck with everything, and if you ever need anything, feel free to send me a PM or VM anytime
   
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Re: Friend from past coming to my new school.... - September 22nd 2012, 06:51 PM

I CAN HELP YOU WITH THE ANXIETY AND ADHD STUFF SO PLEASE STICK WITH ME TO THE END HERE... Or just PM me either way...

Just don't be friends with her. Straight up tell her that a large part of the reason you went to the private school cause you needed to be able to be free of the bad influences. Just be honest with her and tell her that she is not the sort of person to be around, make it clear to her that just becuase you are at the same school doesn't mean you want her thinking you guys are going to like, pal around with each other.

If you don't want to tell her that, just DO all of that. You guys don't need to be around each other simply cause you're at the same school. Where and when you can't avoid her just make small talk.

But you REALLY shouldn't try to prevent her to being at a better school. That's not fair to her. I'm sure if she goes there that she won't be the first difficult kid that the school has had to deal with. I knew 1 or 2 people who got into trouble at my hometowns one and only high school (public obviously since I just said 1 and only haha) and their parents could afford to send them to private boarding schools in the city, so there they went, the stricter school was good for them. Just don't be her friend. And for all you know she wants a better place to be to try to improve. Again, I knew a lot of people that were in trouble and couldn't get out the situation cause they couldn't afford to go. Being around bad people doesn't usually help.

Also, lastly, there is nothing wrong with public school. People using drugs and acting like skanks doesn't define a "normal" public school. Public schools DO get everyone but that's simply because people with the money to put their kids in private school tend to have been in a better position to raise their kids to higher standards. Lower income families tend to have more issues. I'm not trying to make any judgements here. Good and bad people come out of ALL income levels but that's not really my point. My high school was a really good school, we had a lot of excellent and talented teachers, we had 3-4 different academic streams plus special ed (grade 9/10 had the low level, applied (college stream), academic (university stream) and grade 11/12 had workplace (just good enough to get a diploma and a job, probably flipping burgers as harsh as that may sound) college, college university AND university, but to get into university the majority of your classes including English and any other major prerequisites such as maths and sciences had to be university levelled, though things like drama and music I think might of only been college/university levelled), any whoo rant aside, if you were in academic or university levelled classes you tended to have less problematic students in your classes and the lower levels you went down the more problem-students you'd have to deal with. Make sense? So there is REALLY nothing wrong with public schools, but that being said, it depends where you live, my town took EVERYONE to one high school, but a school in a really good neighbourhood in a city mgiht have a lot of really good kids and vice versa for a bad neighbourhood.

AND AND AND hopefully you've stuck with me like I asked... I was diagnosed with ADHD in grade 11, but I knew since grade 10 it was probably a problem for me, it just took a while to get my parents to get the process going and then it took about a semester through grade 11 to do all the assessments, SO I have experience with it. I have also had problems with anxiety. So I can help you in any way I can




Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat or have questions
   
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Re: Friend from past coming to my new school.... - September 22nd 2012, 10:07 PM

Thanks guys! I know that I don't *have* to be her friend, but I'm just totally worried about her talking about me behind my back again. There is already a girl at my school who tells people bad things about me, and I'm terrified those two will gang up and it will end up hurting me any more.

And she isn't one to change.. She was texting me why she wanted to go to this school. She got this reputation about doing all of these favours for guys, but when people started asking, she blamed them. Because her boyfriend and her finally broke up officially and finally for the like, 10th time, she has been looking for another boyfriend. It has nothing to do with "changing her ways" I can guarantee you.

bumblebee : I am actually *really* sorry. I didn't mean to generalise all High Schools like that. But this public school, that is actually what goes on. It is *known* for having drugs, slutty girls, etc. And the public schools in the city here are kind of the same. That was stupidly narrow-minded of me, and I really apologise.

With the ADHD, that is how is has gone down with me too. I should be going to a doctor this week (I'm going to PM you questions, if that's okay) and my parents right now are getting in the programme that this really is a problem. As a kid, I was super hyper, and I had to be in sports to be able to do stuff in school. And now, pairing with anxiety issues, it's just too much and needs checked out.

Thanks a lot for the feed-back guys. <33


   
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Re: Friend from past coming to my new school.... - September 22nd 2012, 10:58 PM

It's ok, I was just pointing that out in defense of the average high school haha it wasn't like I was offended or something, was just making a point.




Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat or have questions
   
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