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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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angel_amethyst Offline
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My arrogant friend took it too far - September 29th 2012, 05:30 PM

Okay, this might end up quite long, sorry.
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Right, so I have a friend, who is extremely annoying and arrogant, and last night when I was at hers for a sleepover, made me so mad I almost shouted the roof off. For the purpose of this thread, I'm going to name her Anna. Also at this sleepover there were two other girls, who I shall call Katie and Amelia. I'm going to give a bit of background info now.
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I moved school a year ago, and the first girl I met was Anna. She was nice enough, and helped me loads. She still is nice most of the time. She was clever, and pretty average in looks, but had a wide personality, whereas I was quite shy, very musical and witty, but not with my tongue. Then I made friends with other girls, and especially her and three girls in particular (Katie and Amelia included). But throughout the last year, and the beginning of this year, she was sometimes hot headed, but not with me. When she asked me to do something, I did it, because I'm a good person, I guess. I'm not a very girly girl, I tend to get on much better with guys, and I do not trust girls at all. I am a month older than Anna, but she's always asking for gossip or information about people. Anyways... back to the sleepover...
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At this sleepover, we made a 'pact', where whoever fell asleep first got drawn on. I objected to this, since I have very pale and sensitive skin, a lot paler than Katie and Amelia, but not much paler than Anna. I then gave in, and said that if I fell asleep, they could draw on my arms, but not my face, since I had horse riding in the morning. Of course, I fell asleep first, and then I woke two hours later, only to find my face covered in pen. I was so, so, angry. I scrubbed my face hard, and most of it came off, but then found more pen on my legs and arms. My skin became irritated and red, and I think now I have a rash. Also, when I woke up, I was covered in popcorn. I had never shouted at any of my friends before, but I almost did that night. Anna told me that I had 'slept thrown' them on myself, which highly amused me. Anyways, she took embarrassing photos of me sleeping, and did not delete them, even when asked.
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I went home first, and told my parents straight away. They were both on my side, and my dad was especially angry, saying that I have a right of privacy. I was scared that Anna would post the pictures on the internet. My mum thinks that Anna is jealous of me, because I play tennis with two of the boys in my class, play three instruments, have two sisters, (whereas Anna has an older brother), my dad has a good job, and I am her biggest intellectual threat. My parents also said that she uses me as a doormat, which is probably true, due to my bullying in the past. I sound like a really sad case, but I'm not. So, that just about sums it up. So, how can I stand up to Anna? And without being rude and losing all my friends? Telling the teachers or other friends won't work, because they all think she's the perfect angel. The problem is, she isn't directly mean to me, and when I get angry she says, 'It was a joke! God... have a bit of fun.' My class is pretty small, and everyone likes her, and I do too, it's just, she's a little bit noisy and loud for my liking. She also disagrees with me on a lot of things, but... I don't know. IT'S SO ANNOYING. Her mum spoils her loads, (though not with money, but with letting her do anything she likes) as well.
Should I ask my mum to ask Anna's mum to delete the photos? It's really bugging me.
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Sorry it's so long!!
   
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Re: My arrogant friend took it too far - October 1st 2012, 12:28 AM

I'd get Anna alone and just talk. Tell her it hurt you what she sis and you know she did it in all fun but you couldn't find the humor. Try to get her into your shoes and see if that helps.

To me this sounds like a little scuff that will work itself out. Don't worry I feel like Anna will understand eventually, and if she doesn't she's not worth it. She sounds like she didn't want to upset you and doesn't want to sound like the bad guy. It probably wouldn't hurt to tell her you're not mad just upset.

Hope that helps and let me know if it all works out!!
   
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Re: My arrogant friend took it too far - October 1st 2012, 04:47 AM

I would not suggest getting your mom involved with hers because that will probably create more problems than it will solve. Plus a lot of moms are defensive when it comes to their daughters and choose to believe they do no wrong - especially those that spoil their daughters.

The way I see it you have three choices:

1. Continue to keep your mouth shut and just deal with the humiliation she causes.
2. Ask her if you can talk to her and tell her how you feel. (If you choose this one, make sure you don't attack her, rather tell her how important her friendship is to you, but that it hurts your feelings when she acts in certain ways - give examples).
or 3. Choose to find new friends that don't act the way these ones do.

You have to decide what will be best for you. I'm sure there are many other ways you can handle it, but those are just the 3 most obvious ones that come to my mind and that I would personally end up considering.

I hope that helps! Good luck with whatever you choose!


*Everything happens for a reason.*
   
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