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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Gemma. Offline
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Not sure what to do... - October 1st 2012, 09:19 AM

What happens when all your friends have left you?? I mean, people have left me because they don't wanna be friends and have been really hurtful. But another has left for uni. And now i have no one. Literally. No one that lives here that likes me.

I'm not at school/ college anymore. I work...in a place mainly filled with guys. I could really do with some female company you know? My friend came back from uni yesterday and we just sat around doing nothing....but it was one of my favourite days! Well she's back at uni now and i don't know what to do.

I could really do without the...join clubs and speak to people shit....i've done that and got the t shirt. I NEED a real way of finding people and making friends. It's been my whole life where people have just upped and left and been really hurtful foor apparently no reason. I don't want that any more. I want stability and people to rely on. I need it. Desperately.

How do i do this? How do i change? It's obviously something i do if it's been happening for the last 18 years of my whole freakin' life!!
   
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Re: Not sure what to do... - October 1st 2012, 02:56 PM

Do you mean that people leave - like physically to another location? Or that people stop being friends with you for no obvious reason?

If you mean to another location, that is something you have not much control over and probably shouldn't take personally. Although I understand that doesn't make it much easier. The only thing I could suggest to make new friends is go to college or find a new job that has more women in it so that you can make some female friends.

If you mean they just stop being friends with you, then you should ask them. You should ask them if there is something you can do. Since I don't know you, I don't know what you could be doing that would put people off to the point of not being friends. If you are doing something, I'm sure it's something that you probably don't realize you are doing and could easily fix once you figure out what it is.

Hopefully that helps a bit!


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Re: Not sure what to do... - October 1st 2012, 03:44 PM

One person left for uni. The others just don't wanna be friends. I can't ask them because they won't speak to me. As for college, i've already done that and finished this year so i can't go back as such.
   
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Re: Not sure what to do... - October 1st 2012, 04:16 PM

You could ask your friend that is at uni if she has any advice. She may know what people have said or what people are thinking. She may be able to enlighten you. You may be inadvertingly be doing something offensive and not realizing it. Your friend may know that you do it, but it might just happen that for whatever reason it doesn't offend her.

Just make sure if you do ask, that you don't get defensive about it. If you ask the question, you have to be prepared for whatever answer is given and not be offended by it.


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Re: Not sure what to do... - October 1st 2012, 04:37 PM

Loosing friends, particularly after you leave school is extremely common. And sadly it is a natural occurrence in life. And that’s OK. Everyone loses friends at this time; it’s in no way just you going through this. People aren’t leaving because they no longer like you, they are leaving because their life is changing and that’s completely normal. So don’t take it out on yourself.

Personally I have always felt that men make great friends. So you might have some really good friend opportunities right around. Other than that, I am not sure what we can tell you since you said you don’t want to do the “speak to people shit”. Quite honestly, if you want to make friends, you are going to have to talk to new people.

People will always come and go from our lives; you can’t expect someone to stick around forever just being your friend. People need to live their lives in ways that make them happy and if moving around does that, then so be it. You have to be able to accept those around you that you are already friends with, no matter if they are male or female, and just enjoy the company you have with them at this moment in time. The relationship may not last forever, it most likely won’t, but friendship is more than being around someone physically for the rest of time. It’s the bond that you have at the moment that allows you to refer to that person as a friend. It’s someone you can rely on and hang out with, someone you can ask for advice, someone to have fun with!




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