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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Michy_Blackrose Offline
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Name: Michy
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Question All About My Mother - October 1st 2012, 04:14 PM

My mother and I have never had an affectionate relationship due to abuse in my younger years, taking out her misery due to my father out on me. I came out about it all at 14, around which age my BPD symptoms began to emerge.

She's been away visiting family abroad for 6 months, and it's never long before she starts making negative comments and judgements and rants/raves about anything and everything. She's a Major Depressive on a tricyclic. I'm on a bunch of meds for my BPD/Depression/Anxiety. *Borderline Personality Disorder.

Any tips for coping, whilst living under one roof?

I'm being as respectful as I can manage and blocking out negative comments. Also fleeing to a best friend's flat closeby, like today.

Really struggling with her being back, the whole atmosphere is tense and volatile.

Help?

Michy x


And I was in the darkness,
So darkness I became.


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Re: All About My Mother - October 1st 2012, 05:11 PM

My own mother and I have a very flawed relationship, mostly hinging on her depressive episodes.

More often than not these episodes are aggressive, involving screaming, intimidation or physical violence.

I know how hard it is to live with a parent who's suffering from severe depression, and it's really a lot harder than said parent just "feeling sad", as a variety of other symptoms may stem from it.

My major piece of advice is; Avoid and apologize. Avoid her as much as possible, and apologize no matter what kind of complaint she has, be it about your or not. Submission is really your best option, until you have the resources to move out. You're 20, therefore child protective services or other helpful resources are not open to you anymore. As an adult, you must treat your mother like any other unpleasant person.

May I ask why you haven't left home yet? Is it a monetary issue? General fear?

You need to weigh how much your sanity costs, versus how much it would cost to move out. I realize that it might not be possible, in which case you should spend as much time as you can with friends or family.

- Justin



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Snap it, work it, quick, erase it,
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,
Load it, check it, quick, rewrite it"
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