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Validity Offline
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Question The Big Question - October 5th 2012, 06:04 AM

Okay. Next year when I get my license I want to drive down to Sydney and see if I can track down my father. I know he's married with 2 kids now, a boy three years younger than me, and a girl five years younger than me. I learned that via facebook.

But, My dad and I have problems from the time I was ceonceived right up until I was 8 months old. He tried to kill me, repeatedly. Once trying to push me in front of a train.

But, I still want to meet him. I mean, it's my dad. I've seen to many kids with their dads and that's what I want! I wanted a dad to be able to learn how to kick a footy, for him to be protective of me and to be standing over the guy I like if I brought him home. I want that, I yearn for that but I don't know how he'd react. Either a fist to the face or a door in my face.

So, my question is this: Should I track him down and meet him?
I could have closure from seeing how he acted, to see if he is still that dropkick, drug/alcohol addicted man my mum gave the altermatum to (go to rehab or never see me again) he chose drugs. Should I find him?

Jay.


Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
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Re: The Big Question - October 5th 2012, 10:15 AM

Hi Jay,

That certainly is a tough decision...

What your father did was inexcusable and I can't imagine the psychological effect that might have on someone. Had he not been a drug addict at the time I would suggest staying well away, for a man to do that with no 3rd party motivation has serious psychological issues. However, that is not the case, your father was a drug addict and drugs can do that craziest things to the nicest people.

If I put myself in your situation I would be wary, he may be your father but there's no escaping what he did. I'd find an address for him and write him a letter or an email, slowly teasing your way into his life and testing the waters... Is he welcoming of you, happy you're in his life, clean... etc. Following that you can arrange a meeting with him. I just think jumping in head first, knocking on his front door could be disastrous. He might turn you away which would leave you naturally upset. And if he is clean, he will no doubt feel extremely ashamed of what he has done to you. He will despise himself for it, making someone face those emotions head on, by surprise never turns out very well. You're better of getting in touch via a medium that allows him to go away and think... Digest his emotions and formulate a calm response.

I hope it all works out well for you, Jay. Good luck.
   
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Re: The Big Question - October 5th 2012, 10:24 AM

Hey, I know my mum always said my Dad was a nice guy but only if he wasn't drunk or high.

I know that a letter would be better and fairer on him. So I might do that. Apprently my gran kept in contact with him so when I drive down I'll go see my whole family (other than the one's in NZ )

Jay.


Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
   
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